So I been thinking........

AND

Glad the 40 detox is over....... now I have to blog about it.

AND

I will be creating an additional blog about books I have read.

AND

Why am I creating another blog when I barely post on this one?

AND

Got to do better with posting on my blog in 2009.

AND

Not looking forward to the 6 1/2 - 7 hour drive to Louisiana.

AND

I am looking forward to some Gumbo though!

AND

Cannot contain my excitement about having my own apartment!! December 31, 2008 I will obtain the keys!!! YEAH!!!

AND

Excited to finally meet my new niece!

AND

I am finally starting to feel contentment.

AND

I think that 2009 will be a great year for me!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

What to expect for Xmas?

Once again it is Christmas time and I will be heading to good ole Louisiana Tuesday!!! However with every positive, there are some negatives. Now I love my relatives, but at times (especially for the holidays) they can be a little to much.

The "Drunk" family members

These individuals usually are the ones who start the fights/arguments. They are usually older male relatives.

The "Criticizing" family members

These relatives always making snide remarks or been judgmental. For example, "OH! You still haven't went back to law school?" Usually older female relatives.

The "Wild Child" family members

Another Christmas, another child and babydaddy/mama. Always bugging you to go to the club with them later. Assume that you are big ballin and want to talk in private so they can ask for some money.

The "I'm saved now" family members

Was a "wild child" and/or "drunk" family member last Christmas. Trying to preach to you about what you need to do with your life and criticizing you for not being where they are at in Christ. FUTURE OUTLOOK: Becoming a "Criticizing" family member.

The "Competitor" family members

Usually around the same age as you (so that mean they are a first and/or second cousin).

I get a new job, he/she got a promotion.

I get a new apartment, he/she bought a house.

I get a new boyfriend, he/she get engage!

The "Impostor" family members

Moved away and people assume he/she is doing great. Do not want family members to know that he/she is doing anything LESS THAN great. However everyone know that you are struggling. I THINK THIS IS ME. LOL!

NEVERTHELESS, I love them all the same and cannot wait to see them.

FREEDOM

Day 37 of 40

The detox is going better than I thought it would. Truthfully, I thought that I would have quit by now. That’s sad huh? Nevertheless I am pushing along. Some stuff I back sled on whereas on other things I have remained strong.

If I am going to be honest with you guys (and to myself), as I am looking at my list, I do not see where I have done a lot. I did complete my 5 day food detox!!!! No cokes or drinks period. I just had water, fruits, and vegetables. With regards to the 5 day food detox, I learned that I am going to have to gradually take myself off of cokes. LOL!! No cold turkey for me. So I drink one SMALL cup a day (and that’s hard for me to), but I am drinking more water than I use to. Especially since I heard that it can come back to haunt ya when you get old! I have not cut down several days of television, but I do not watch television on Mondays.

Nevertheless I have had an epiphany; I AM GETTING MY OWN PLACE.

Even though I have no money saved, hardly getting by now, for my piece of mind, I know that it is necessary. There are several individuals (including family members) that are telling me that I am making a stupid/dumb decision. Those doubting me and bringing negativity to my life will only make me try even harder. Going through this detox and the event that occurred recently, has made me realize that I was/am in a “comfort zone”. I need to step out on a limb and do this for myself and not because I am feeling pressured to do it, not because I feel like a failure, not because I should be doing what everyone else my age is, but because it’s the right decision for ME.

I am learning that I cannot always go by someone advice. I can take it under consideration, but at the end of the day I have to do what makes me happy. That has always been my problem, trying to make the adults in my life happy and satisfied, but not realizing that I am an adult myself. If I fail, well I tried. I will be the one who will have to deal with it. Nobody else has to. So if that mean sleeping on an air mattress (which if I buy a good one, they can be extremely comfortable) and eat cereal and ham sandwiches everyday, SO BE IT. If that is what it takes to have piece of mind, then that is what I will do. Now even though we are in a recession, I will try my damn est to get a part time job.

For some reason I have this calmness about the situation, I have went over my bills and it is really possible. I looked and found a great apartment, in a great location, and at a great price. I have to just fix something on my credit report tomorrow and it will be mine. I will be able to move in December 31st!!!

This means that I will be starting the New Year off right! Please pray and wish me luck on this new adventure that I am about to embark on!

Complainer

Day 36 of 40

You know how there are some people in the world that you hate to see coming because they ALWAYS complaining about something? I hate to say it, but I think that person is me. Okay…….I know that person is me. LOL! I complain entirely too much, and it is sad when you yourself is the one who realize it.

It always starts off innocently, I could be talking about something and I will find the negative in it. Complaining is a part of most my daily exchanges. I even use complaints as icebreakers.

However even though I have a lot of stuff to work on in my life, compared to others (especially in this recession and holiday period) I am doing pretty good.

I am healthy and able bodied.
I have a warm and safe place to sleep at night.
I have family and a few friends I can depend on.
I have a reliable car that can take me from A to B.
I have a job that provides income to live off of and to take care of necessary expenses.
I have food to eat.

After realizing that I needed to stop surrounding myself around negative people and/or individuals who are not trying to better themselves, I had to take a look at myself. I thought, “What is it about me that makes me want to be around these people or why do they want to be around me?” “How can I bring more positive people in my life?”

Well it starts with me!

Sunday at church, the preacher made it quite clear. If it is one thing that God does not like, it is a complainer. He can tolerate/forgive you when He sees you TRYING, but if you are just giving up and complaining about the situation without doing anything about it, well that is just UNACCEPTABLE.

How can I complain about my living situation when some people do not know where they will lay their head tomorrow or if they will even have a home?

How can I complain about being lonely because I am not in a relationship when I have friends and family who I KNOW I can trust 100% and they will never let me down?

How can I complain about my job and boss when over a million people have lost their jobs and do not know where the next meal will come from?

I am starting to wonder how many things have I missed out on in life because of my complaining.

Instead of looking at the each negative point in your life, take the time to look at it in a positive light.

I NEED TO BE MORE GRATEFUL.

God created each and every one of us with free will. That means that we choose our thoughts and I (and you) do not have to accept every negative thought/image that comes to mind.

So starting today, I am making a conscious effort to not complain (and whine because I am good at that also). It will be an extremely hard task for me, but it is an important step to take in my quest for spiritual and mental growth!

FOUR MORE DAYS AND THE DETOX WILL BE COMPLETE!!!

I have so much to share.