Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Getting into Healthy Financial Shape

Along with keeping my commitments, I am also using this year to officially get my finances in order. Now I have always considered myself a financial savvy individual, but even with the knowledge, I could not use it because I never had stable employment. With that being said, I think my college years were my best financial times. This is because I always had money. I worked part time for a major fast food company, a work-study program on campus, and last but surely not least (literally) there was Sallie Mae. Oh my gosh! I was never without money in my pockets and this was before I even discovered credit cards. However my down fall occurred when I did discover credit cards.

My freshman and sophomore year in college, I PURPOSELY chose not to obtain credit cards. I did not have a lot of knowledge about them except that I kept hearing that they were bad for college students. I lived on campus so I did not have living expenses and with my part time job, student loan check, and monthly check from my work-study job, I had quite a few dollars in my pocket. Nevertheless my parents felt that it was necessary for me to have at LEAST ONE credit card in case of emergencies and/or they could not send and/or give me money in a timely fashion. Even when I acquired the first credit card, I did not use it for the first 6 months.

Oh but when I did and I got a taste of it, everything has been down hill ever since. After the first credit card, I was offered a Wal-Mart card. I figured I was going to need it since I basically lived there anyway because that’s where I brought all my items such as personal needs, supplies, and food. Next was another major credit card. I figured I will use this one for really big items (crazy). Then was the Shell gas card, and of course I needed this one. This card was supposed to be for trips back home to visit my family (I went to college 4 hours away). Instead it was used for everything. Let’s not forget that I had to have the Old Navy and JCPenny card. The reasons for those two cards I cannot remember, but I am pretty sure (100%) that it was for clothes.

So in one year I obtained SIX CREDITS CARDS.

Everything was going fine until I took a summer off from school and thought I was to good to work at the local fast food place in my hometown (what was I thinking!!). All school year I was on it with the minimum payments and my little budget, but it was not until June, July, and August, that I got into a jam. However instead of calling the credit card companies and explaining to them the situation and setting up other payment options, I TOTALLY IGNORED THEM. Even when I went back to school, I felt like I was so far behind in payments (again here was another chance I could have called), that there was no way to catch up. So you know what I did? Let them go into collections and then get charged off. Yep.

So my dad asked me about my credit card (they thought I still had the first one only) and I inform him of everything, and then he stated something so profound (at least at that moment in time). “Why would you get SIX credit cards when the first one could do the same thing all the rest of them did?” Now I knew that, but I did not think of it that way. So I am in my last year of college and messed up my credit. Now I could have right then and there said, “I am going to move back on campus and use the money that I am using to pay rent and utilities, to pay off debt.” However I was too worried about how it would look with me moving back on campus. So I just stuck it out, and said I would get to it one day. On the other hand this experience did drive me to learn (and I mean really learn) about budgeting, debt, credit reports and scores, and basically everything dealing with the matter of having a healthy financial situation. I consumed every issue I could find of Black Enterprise (I am a subscriber currently – and clip the articles that I find useful), read and put in my favorites’, every website pertaining to debt and/or debt repair. Bought every Suze Orman (along with watching/TiVo her show every Saturday) and Glinda Bridgforth wrote. So now with my knowledge, I was ready to apply it. However almost five years (since graduating college) has gone by and I am greatly/sadly able to say I can finally apply it. I am settled in my new position and making the necessary steps I need to make to improve my credit. My goal is to be completely debt free (with the exception of Sallie Mae and my car loan) summer of 2009. The estimated total is $10,000.00. That amount includes credit cards, misc. debt, hospital bills, and etc. Can not go into my LATE twenties with bad credit!!!

Next………”Girl get your money straight” by Glinda Bridgforth

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Oh my gosh!! There is a show about my blog!

Sorry about being M-I-A, but I have been getting some things in my life in order (you will hear all about them later). Nevertheless as I were laying in bed watching "Biggest Loser", NBC announce that a new show was coming on next. The show is called "Quarter life" and it is basically about a girl and her friends that are in their mid-twenties!!! The girl has a blog that she writes and uploads videos discussing her life and the lives of her friends. I mean she is telling all of their business.

Now I think that I am going to like the show, because in its simplest form, I agree and I am currently going the same issues and circumstances. The real question is since the writers strike is over, how long will the show stay on? Will the show even get an audience?

Saturday, February 16, 2008


I am kind of hesitate to write about this subject, but isn’t this what my blog is for? To discuss and let out my issues, ideals, and things that is important to me. The purpose for my blog was to post my transition into becoming a full blown mature woman. I am at a point in my life today I think, “Whew that hurdle is over, lets move on to the next task I need to complete in order to feel like I am sure of myself.” However a couple of days maybe weeks later, I am back to acting or feeling the same way. So it is like I take two steps forward and sometimes three to four steps back. Venturing into the unknown is very scary and exciting. I cannot wait to see what is in store for me, but I am so scared to leave my past. On my journey/transition into full responsible adulthood, I am becoming more spiritual (actually a lot more). My life is centering on my growing relationship with God. I am seeing that a lot of posts will also center on God, but I do not want to come across “preachy-like”. Outwardly in the real world, I am not like that, so I do not want it to come off like that. Even though I am not the same person I was before becoming serious spirituality, I am no where near where I should be. I still have a lot of work to do on myself. I still curse (a lot--to much), gossip, look, listen, and sometimes where inappropriate material. So I hope that when I come here to post and I am having a spiritual moment and needing to share because I know someone maybe going through the same things, I do not come across as a hypocrite. In the words of Steve Harvey, “God is not through with me yet!” THANKS!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Being single for Valentine's Day

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. A perfect scenario is having someone special that will surprise you with chocolates, teddy bears, and/or flowers. Maybe even provide you with some jewelry. However the ones without someone (me) will be reminded that we do not have anyone to share this special day with. Before continuing:


So what I do not have a “boo” or “man” to receive flowers from. So what I will not be having a candlelit dinner with someone special. So what I will not receive a card telling me how special I am and how much love they have for me!!!! SO WHAT!! LOL!!



In a weird (plus I know it is not right) way, I feel good knowing that I am not the only one in this predicament. I know several females, my age, younger and some quite older that are in the same boat as I. However I am (I cannot speak for them) not going to let a commercialized day have me make wrong decisions. This means that I will not let Valentine’s drive me to interacting with “Mr. Wrong”.

Some maybe wondering where I am going with this, so here goes. I know a lot of single females that intentionally set out to find ANY MAN to get with for just this particular day. Just so they can say that they were not alone on Valentine’s Day. Just so they will not feel empty and go through the whole mental anguish (because that’s all it is) of wondering what is wrong with them and why they do not have a man. So these women (and I at one time) basically settle.

EXAMPLE: Say you have been getting to know (kicking it) a gentleman (man, dude, some women – boy) for a couple weeks (met him or he decided to call after Christmas) and Valentine’s Day is coming up. You like wow finally I will have someone for V-Day. Nevertheless he is ---maybe not your type physical wise. He does not have a job and living off his mama OR maybe even another woman. However you are so desperate for a body that you settle for someone who you know is not the one or good enough for you.


Just because it is V-Day, it those not mean you should call up or answer the phone for “Mr. He-will-do”. You know he gets on your nerves, but just so you will not be lonely, just because you do not have patience to wait for God to bring the right one in your life, you settle.

Now the good Word says be careful or anxious for nothing, but with prayer let your requests be made known to God. Now after doing this, we must (at least we should be doing this) be at peace for what we prayed for (in regards to this post – a man), trust Him and wait on His timing. Not yours. Instead of chasing after a man, how about chasing after Him (trust I am trying that now). Trust I know that this is easier said then done because I have my weak days also. I know we get lonely and sometimes feel like God is taking to long (be quick and ask for forgiveness for even thinking like that!! LOL).

If you are asking God for that special someone first know that he is not coming over night. Second, maybe the reason God has not brought the “special one” into your life is because you yourself is not worthy of him. Is all your ducks in a row? Let’s say God brings the man of your dreams to you, will you be the woman of his dreams? We (at least me and my girlfriends) are always crying about finding a good man and a good man coming along, but we ourselves have so much baggage that we truthfully do not even need a man in our lives right now PERIOD. Some of us need to be doing right spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially before bringing a man in our life. How about we get our ducks in a row and make God the most important man (person) and I promise you He will bring you all that you desire and more!!!

I will just like for you to know (I have no doubt that you already know this) that God loves you and He knows the desires of your heart. However He simply desires for you (and me) to put all our energy that we use to find a “man” into a desire for Him. So since I am talking the talk, I am going to walk the walk and let God be my Valentine (I know I am corny).
So single women, if no one tells you happy Valentine’s Day here goes:


Thursday, February 7, 2008

I will be gone till November (Election)

At first I was posting on the campaign and giving updates. However the situation is crazy. None of the candidates are talking about hard core issues. I am tired of hearing the same thing over and over again on every news channel. If I had to go by what the media decides I need to hear, GOSH I would be a lost soul. I am so tired of not getting hard core statements of how they are going to make this country different and/or better. I do not need to be reminded everyday that Barack is black. He was black yesterday, he is black today, and he is going to be black tomorrow. I know how important it is in this election and I am extremely happy, but I do not want him to become president just because he is (half) black. Same thing goes with Hillary. Can someone say anything about the programs, tax cuts (if any) that they are planning to implement. ANYTHING!! I guess I am getting frustrated because I know that everyone is not like me and will not look for information about each candidate (democratic or republican) on their own. They are depending on the media, who is treating the candidates like high school cliques, for their information. Plus being a black woman, people give you the "So are you going to vote for the WOMAN or BLACK MAN?" NO! I am going to vote for the PERSON who can cater to the issues I feel need to be addressed. With that being said, I will not post anything political (unless something juicy happens and I want to give my two cents) until the Convention or even in November when I work and we find out who is President. Below is a youtube clip that I want them to address for me.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Just Voted


I just came from voting and I feel great knowing that I am about to be apart of history!! Vote or Die!! If this youtube offends you.........Sorry........I think.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Commitments to living my life to the fullest

For about the last 4-5 years, every year I have had “New Year’s Resolutions”. Every one of those years, maybe by day 4 or 5 (or less) I have either stopped doing it/them or I have never even started on it/them. With that being said, last year after again not following through with my resolutions, I decided to STOP MAKING THEM!!! LOL!! This year instead of making resolutions, I have made commitments. The following is the commitments I promise to live by. These commitments do not need a start and end date. Whenever you decide in your mind and heart to start, will be the day your life will change forever. It is just February and I am seeing major changes already. However not all changes feel good at first, but knowing that you are making the right decision for your future makes it easier (at least for me) to stick to your guns.

1. Stop living to please other people.
This means in my life, I have to stop worrying about certain parts of my family and their opinions of me. I do not feel like I am a disappointment to them, but I do believe that they are still viewing me as a child and they feel like I need their input on every aspect of my life. It is time for me to do what I feel is best for my life and stop worrying about how its going to make them look to other people. It is like they only want me to do good (regardless of my feelings or happiness) so they can brag on me to others, which at the end of the day makes them look (and our family) good in other people eyes. Now none of them had innocent backgrounds, but they just assume that me I am suppose to live this cookie cutter life and never do wrong. I am far from innocent and I have PLENTY of skeletons in my closet, but am I suppose to be ashamed about it? So basically I am going to stop putting effort into things that make them happy because they are the only ones benefiting from them.

2. Bringing positive people in my life and eliminating the negative ones.
With this commitment, it has been much easier than I thought it would be. I simply prayed to God to eliminate all individuals who were not doing me any good. I also prayed that He bring in like-minded Christian individuals. Some of the negative individuals who I had to cease communication with were family members and close associates. It just comes a time where you need to make changes and adjustments. People do not need to be in your life only because they have ALWAYS been there. For instance the friend/family member who only calls when they need you, but some how is never around when you need them. How about the person who only like you when something is going wrong in your life, but is always frowning up or not calling back when you have good things to say? Then you have the ones who put you down so that they can feel good about themselves. I have been and will continue to surround myself around individuals who care and support me in my good and bad times. I was always told that you look at your 5 closest friends, and if you are doing better than all of them, it is time to get some new friends.

3. Always have something new and big on your agenda.
Well this is just a perfect commitment for me. Being that I organize everything, I have so many plans. As far as my career, I want to gain two promotions in 5 years (highly obtainable where I work) and hopefully in the next 5 to 10 years, own several rental properties and at least 2 businesses. Now some people feel like this is a lot and love to tell me that I am over my head. Well those are some of the individuals who had to be let go. I just learned that some things have to be shown and not told about. As with my hobbies, there are so many. I think learning is a life long continuing process. So currently I am studying the Bible and the historical origins from where it comes from. This was a struggle at first because of the contradictions, but I had to learn to use the Bible in two ways, academically and personal relationship. Also I am self studying our history, meaning complete world history in a chronological order. As you can see 2008 is bringing out my inner nerd. However can you know where you are going, if you do not know where you come from? Lastly, I will like to run a marathon so this year is all about training for it. I love looking forward to milestones and events, they stimulate me. This is because it gives me a reason to get out of bed and it increases my desire to work towards my goals. Actually putting wheels into motion makes me feel better and excited to keep it up.

4. Never live in the past.
This was and is the most difficult one. I have not been in a serious relationship in 4 years. I am learning to stop dwelling on what would have happened if I had forgave him. Even though in my hearts of hearts I know he was not the one and we were just kids. Also I have to forgive myself on giving up and not finishing law school. Sometimes I think I am over it, but then I talk to friends and old regrets set in. It’s hard because I have to be truly happy for individuals who have my dream, but this is for another post. Lastly and most important is the ability to get past childhood issues I have with a certain person who was in my life at that time. I have carried the hate in me for so long that it is all I know when it comes to feeling that way about the individual and situation. It has defined my life when it comes to men, trusting individuals, and being able to show affection and love to others. However right now I am focusing on the here and now and what I need to do to move forward. This commitment will have to be looked at again continually through out the year.

So with all of that being said, I am learning to take care of myself emotionally (spiritually). Taking care of myself emotionally means living in a way that makes me feel inspired, hopeful, self-confident, playful, loving and in touch with what I care about the most. I received an email today stating Guidelines to live by in 2008. It was basically different quotes to help you open your mind, think, and have a better year than last year. However the very last quote got to me, “First I was dying to finish high school and start college. Then I was dying to finish college and start working. Then I was dying to marry and have children. Then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I go back to work. Then I was dying to retire. NOW I AM DYING AND SUDDENLY I REALIZED THAT I FORGOT TO LIVE!!” I truly do not want that to be me and I see that this was the path I was taking. I want to appreciate each stage I encounter and enjoy them day by day to the fullest. By the commitments above, I feel I have a pretty good chance of living my life to the fullest.
Sorry for the long post!!!

25 is not old

So I am talking to my little sister on the phone (she is 16) and she calls me old!!!! OK, maybe 25 is not old, but it feels kinda weird to say "I'm 25." Turning 25 also allows me to do a couple things I couldn't do before. Like I can now rent a car and not pay a fee and I can run for office. That's about it. If there are other 25-year-old privileges, please let me know so I can exercise those new rights!


Friday, February 1, 2008

Black History Month

Hello all

It is officially BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
How will you celebrate it? Watch a couple of old black movies?

How about doing something different? Such as starting a book club with young teens/tweens and discussing topics concerning blacks.

Just an option......