Cannot wait to go home!!!

The pic speaks for itself. I will be going home (Louisiana) for Mother's day to see mom (of course) and the rest of my fam. However I am really going home because I need to have some crawfish. Dang!!! This is literally my favorite food and I still have not gotten use to them not being here in the Atlanta area. My entire life every weekend (well from February until July) there was a crawfish boil somewhere for me to attend. So lets just say that these last few months have been hard on me. I have had friends and family call and rub it in about eating them. Nevertheless I will literally be eating them Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of that weekend. While some may say that I am over doing it, I am simply saying that I have to get my fix in so I will not be craving them once I come back up here.

Dating MYSELF

So it is Saturday and I am back at home from my date with myself. Yep I wrote that correctly, I am dating myself. If you saw the youtube clip before reading this, aside from the humor, it was informative (at least for me). I talk a good game to everybody about how I am happy and just concentrating on me, but sometimes it gets hard and today is one of those days. I had to turn lemons into lemonade. I got out of bed, turned the TV off since it is a "no TV day" (will post about later) and commence to cleaning my room and my bathroom (remember that I live with my aunt, so those are the only areas I use). Cleaning was an ALL DAY (well 3 hours) job, and after that I gave myself an "in-home" spa treatment. After the spa, I did my hair like I went to a stylist and applied makeup to my face. Then I put a fly but casual outfit (you know, to look like I really did not try to dress up, but it just looked like I did) and decided to go see a movie, have a drink afterward, and grab a bite to eat. Now this is nothing new, I am not afraid and actually enjoy doing things by myself. However I do not do them on the weekends during "date hours". Nevertheless it was enjoyable and I am planning on have a "date night" with myself once a week or once every other week. I also purposely limited my conversations with female friends today because I know they would have wanted to join me and:

1. It would have defeated the purpose of going on a date with myself.
2. It would have turned into a girls night out which would have included talking about men and how much more fun it would have been if men were with us.
3. They would have gotten on my nerves checking men out, or complaining and whining about couples being mushy or just because they see a couple.

Anyway, the movie "Babymama" was great! 2 thumbs up! Went to a bar and had 2 Lemon drop martinis, and then to Chili's and got a to-go order. Now I am at home fulled and a little buzzed (drunk 2 glasses of wine with my food). To some this may seem pitiful, but actually it made me feel better. I have to practice what I preach!! Yesterday I went to Borders and spent 2 hours there having a blast with all the books (again I am an undercover nerd! LOL) and today I took myself to the movies and out to eat. So I should be sufficient until next weekend.

Next week: Go to a Jazz club!!!

Another one bites the dust

Since I am talking about individuals I will never get..........

So I am not a big music video person these days. However I was talking to a "old friend" on the phone one day last week and he told me about this singer that I use to have a crush on in high school. He was from the group, "Playa". His name was Stephen "Static Major" Garrett and that he had a song out with Lil Wayne. So of course I "youtube" it and found it. After the video goes off, I see a rest in peace with his brithdate and the day of his DEATH!!! What the hell? He died? So I begin to do my research and this is what I found:

"There have been many different speculations about the death of my brother, Stephen Ellis "Static/Major" Garrett. I write this blog entry to set the record straight. I, also, ask that you direct all to this blog for the truth. I spoke to my sister-in-law, Static's wife, yesterday at the funeral, and she, again, permits me to do this. She, also, wants all to know "the truth in the booth." On the day of February 25th, Static was in Atlanta, and began to feel sick. His desire was to go home (Louisville, Kentucky) to be around family and seek medical attention. He had a virus. I, still, don't know what the name of this virus was, but it was not a life-threatening issue, I do know. This particular virus affects the muscles, throat (quivering of the voice), as well as, causes drooping of the eye. He had no history of illnesses or anything of that nature. Anyone that knows Static, knows that he didn't like hospitals. He suffered the death of his sister in the late 80's, when we first met, and had a conscious or phobia about hospitals. I'm sure he's not the only one. I, now, have that conscious. But, he knew he needed medical attention to become well. When he admitted himself to Baptist Hospital East in Louisville, Kentucky, the doctors presented him with medicine that would treat the virus. The treatment was taking the medicine through a shunt, in the neck, which treats more severe cases of this virus. Quicker than taking pills for days. Though, he didn't want the shunt, the doctors insisted that he treat it this way. The treatment was a form of dialysis to filter the blood of the virus. He called his mom and told her, "Mama, something doesn't feel right. It hurts." When the doctor's were made aware that the shunt was hurting him, they took it out......it was over! When taking the shunt out, they took it out in the wrong manner that resulted in damaging the artery. He bled to death! They killed my brother, his wife's husband, his kids' father, his mom's son, and the world's musical inspiration. His death was ruled "accidental". He didn't have to die! But, I will say this. In situations like these, I feel that it was time to go home. And, it's not our decision on whether or not to stay. There is one thing that's guaranteed in this life, and that is, we all have to die, in some point and time, and in some way or another. The moral of this story is do not put off for tomorrow what u could do today! Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised! Do whatever it is that you have to do and whatever it is that you want to do TODAY! I will be writing more on Static/Major, due to the fact that I, regardless, am highly upset and disappointed in Baptist Hospital East and their procedures on Monday, February 25, 2008."
- Smoke Digglera (former Playa bandmate, from his myspace page)

So in memory my old crush....here is "Cheers 2 U" BUT youtube will not let me get it. Sooo here is his last song with Lil Wayne.

Just my imagination

I am in love with Kanye West. It is true and I will elaborate on it later. Nevertheless it is sad to say (but not really) that I am happy that he is single again. I know I know, I am pitiful. Maybe, just maybe when I go to his concert on the 4th he will notice me. Now I will not be like all the other groupies jumping on him. NO! I will be the one being to myself and he will notice and think I am a challenge. Once we start a conversation he will realize that I am a highly intelligent and ambitious woman. He will then express how even though he just broke off his engagement, that he want to pursue something deep and profound with me!!!! Ahhhhh wouldn't that be great?!! LOL LOL Got to speak these things into existence!!!

This song explain my love for him and his music perfectly! Gotta Love Erykah, my fellow Gramblinite!!!!

Can I ask you something?

If your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend, who would you be more mad at?

I was asked this by a friend guy tonight. Well my answer was simple.

Would not matter because I will kill them both!!!! LOL

My madea always said, "Keep women out of your relationships. They do not need to know the good and/or bad".

If they know the good, then they want to experience it themselves, and if they know the bad then they will always judge the individual.

Thats it.

April's Book of the Month

10 Good Choices that Empowers Black Women's Lives
By Grace Cornish

I read this book (the first time) the summer before my sophomore year in college. I was in my first “young adult” relationship, and it was going okay (who would have known he would dump me on my birthday 3 months later!!!!). Nevertheless I joined Black Expressions and picked the book, “10 Good Choices that Empowers Black Women’s Lives” by Grace Cornish.

So I was looking through my old books (trying to establish my own library) and came across this one. I think everything happens for a reason and truly feel like I came across this book (again) at the perfect time. This is a follow up book to her first one entitled, “10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives”. Since I am trying to NOT focus and write about negative things so much, I would rather focus on empowering one’s self. Here is where “10 Good Choices” comes in.

First and importantly, it is helping empower me in the areas I am working on currently which is feeling beautiful, going for what I want, stop feeling that anyone (Kanye West – that’s another post) or anything seemed out of reach. This is not one of those quick fix books, but rather guide to achieving life success. Right now I am in transition to becoming a better child of God and understanding how I can do that in this world I live in. This book helps tremendously.

Here are the 10 steps:

1. Embracing the Skin You're In


2. Accepting "Better Love," Not "Bitter Love"


3. Making Money Work for You


4. Turning Stumbling Blocks into Stepping Stones


5. Avoiding "the Only Fly in the Buttermilk" Thinking


6. Trusting Your Own Intuition


7. Taking Calculated Chances, Not Idle Ones


8. Giving Stress a Perpetual Rest


9. Rewriting Your Life's Script


10. Using Your "Praying Energy" for "Staying Energy"

Can we talk about something else?

Do we have to (please excuse my french) f**king talk about men every time we get on the phone? I am sooooo tired of talking about them. We are all educated sisters with plenty going on in our lives, but it seems like every time I call a close friend or they call me, we end up talking about them (men). Why? Its not going to change anything. It is getting to the point to where I do not want to talk to them because THAT'S ALL WE EVER TALK ABOUT. I try to change the subject, but somehow we get right back on it. I am trying to just concentrate on me, and I feel if I keep myself busy that I will not think about men and the issues (or lack of having a man) concerning them. Do I have to be reminded everyday that I am single? You do not have to tell me that you are unhappy single, I KNOW!!! Yes, "friend" I know its hard finding a good man. No "friend" I do not know why we keep getting deadbeats portraying themselves as men. Nevertheless you have to be the good friend and sit there and listen and be supportive because probably I was the one bitching about it last week. LOL!! Lets talk about:

1. Politics
2. Fashion (there are these "high waisted jeans" from Levi and Guess that I want so bad!!)
3. TV
4. Our friendship
5. Careers
6. Memories
7. Spirituality
8. Fitness
9. Establishing a time to meet up or get together
10. Anything else other than MEN!!!!!

So I am going to try something new this week, whenever I talk to a girlfriend, I will not mention men at all. If they mention men, I will give them five minutes of convo on this subject and change it. If they try to come back to it, I am going to inform them that I am tired of talking about men (because we are basically talking a particular incident that we have over analyzed for the past couple of days, weeks, months, and sometime years) and if we cannot talk about something else I am getting off the phone. Time to start showing these girls/women (and myself) TOUGH LOVE!!!

I'M I BEING TO HARD/MEAN?

My Vision

So above is my vision board. This basically means these are the things/goals/dreams that I wish to obtain and/or accomplish. Its from the smallest silliest pleasure (perfume --so not in my budget!!) to of course my ultimate career goal of graduating from law school and becoming a business owner. Being that I have been really down in the dumps (hence why I have not been posting on a daily basis) I needed something to continue to drive me. I truly believe in talking things into existence. So I think about it, visualize it, talk about it, and work towards it. Now all I need to accomplish is PATIENCE. Even though I know that things worth having does not come over night. I still feel like I am not moving forward. Nevertheless I advise EVERYONE to make a vision board (I actually think I am about to make another one) and post it somewhere you can see it everyday (mine is on the back of my bedroom door). See it everyday is a constant reminder of what I need/want to do!!