Monday, February 4, 2008

Commitments to living my life to the fullest

For about the last 4-5 years, every year I have had “New Year’s Resolutions”. Every one of those years, maybe by day 4 or 5 (or less) I have either stopped doing it/them or I have never even started on it/them. With that being said, last year after again not following through with my resolutions, I decided to STOP MAKING THEM!!! LOL!! This year instead of making resolutions, I have made commitments. The following is the commitments I promise to live by. These commitments do not need a start and end date. Whenever you decide in your mind and heart to start, will be the day your life will change forever. It is just February and I am seeing major changes already. However not all changes feel good at first, but knowing that you are making the right decision for your future makes it easier (at least for me) to stick to your guns.

1. Stop living to please other people.
This means in my life, I have to stop worrying about certain parts of my family and their opinions of me. I do not feel like I am a disappointment to them, but I do believe that they are still viewing me as a child and they feel like I need their input on every aspect of my life. It is time for me to do what I feel is best for my life and stop worrying about how its going to make them look to other people. It is like they only want me to do good (regardless of my feelings or happiness) so they can brag on me to others, which at the end of the day makes them look (and our family) good in other people eyes. Now none of them had innocent backgrounds, but they just assume that me I am suppose to live this cookie cutter life and never do wrong. I am far from innocent and I have PLENTY of skeletons in my closet, but am I suppose to be ashamed about it? So basically I am going to stop putting effort into things that make them happy because they are the only ones benefiting from them.

2. Bringing positive people in my life and eliminating the negative ones.
With this commitment, it has been much easier than I thought it would be. I simply prayed to God to eliminate all individuals who were not doing me any good. I also prayed that He bring in like-minded Christian individuals. Some of the negative individuals who I had to cease communication with were family members and close associates. It just comes a time where you need to make changes and adjustments. People do not need to be in your life only because they have ALWAYS been there. For instance the friend/family member who only calls when they need you, but some how is never around when you need them. How about the person who only like you when something is going wrong in your life, but is always frowning up or not calling back when you have good things to say? Then you have the ones who put you down so that they can feel good about themselves. I have been and will continue to surround myself around individuals who care and support me in my good and bad times. I was always told that you look at your 5 closest friends, and if you are doing better than all of them, it is time to get some new friends.

3. Always have something new and big on your agenda.
Well this is just a perfect commitment for me. Being that I organize everything, I have so many plans. As far as my career, I want to gain two promotions in 5 years (highly obtainable where I work) and hopefully in the next 5 to 10 years, own several rental properties and at least 2 businesses. Now some people feel like this is a lot and love to tell me that I am over my head. Well those are some of the individuals who had to be let go. I just learned that some things have to be shown and not told about. As with my hobbies, there are so many. I think learning is a life long continuing process. So currently I am studying the Bible and the historical origins from where it comes from. This was a struggle at first because of the contradictions, but I had to learn to use the Bible in two ways, academically and personal relationship. Also I am self studying our history, meaning complete world history in a chronological order. As you can see 2008 is bringing out my inner nerd. However can you know where you are going, if you do not know where you come from? Lastly, I will like to run a marathon so this year is all about training for it. I love looking forward to milestones and events, they stimulate me. This is because it gives me a reason to get out of bed and it increases my desire to work towards my goals. Actually putting wheels into motion makes me feel better and excited to keep it up.

4. Never live in the past.
This was and is the most difficult one. I have not been in a serious relationship in 4 years. I am learning to stop dwelling on what would have happened if I had forgave him. Even though in my hearts of hearts I know he was not the one and we were just kids. Also I have to forgive myself on giving up and not finishing law school. Sometimes I think I am over it, but then I talk to friends and old regrets set in. It’s hard because I have to be truly happy for individuals who have my dream, but this is for another post. Lastly and most important is the ability to get past childhood issues I have with a certain person who was in my life at that time. I have carried the hate in me for so long that it is all I know when it comes to feeling that way about the individual and situation. It has defined my life when it comes to men, trusting individuals, and being able to show affection and love to others. However right now I am focusing on the here and now and what I need to do to move forward. This commitment will have to be looked at again continually through out the year.

So with all of that being said, I am learning to take care of myself emotionally (spiritually). Taking care of myself emotionally means living in a way that makes me feel inspired, hopeful, self-confident, playful, loving and in touch with what I care about the most. I received an email today stating Guidelines to live by in 2008. It was basically different quotes to help you open your mind, think, and have a better year than last year. However the very last quote got to me, “First I was dying to finish high school and start college. Then I was dying to finish college and start working. Then I was dying to marry and have children. Then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I go back to work. Then I was dying to retire. NOW I AM DYING AND SUDDENLY I REALIZED THAT I FORGOT TO LIVE!!” I truly do not want that to be me and I see that this was the path I was taking. I want to appreciate each stage I encounter and enjoy them day by day to the fullest. By the commitments above, I feel I have a pretty good chance of living my life to the fullest.
Sorry for the long post!!!

No comments: