So I been thinking........

AND......

There is so much I want to do, and I wonder will I be able to do it all. Will I become one of those individual with great ideals that never follow through with them?

AND......

Smile in your face, all the time they want to take your place, them BACKSTABBERS. BACKSTABBERS!!

AND.....

I am going to write a book! Well one day I will. I have several ideals in the works. I think I need to take some English/grammar classes and creative writing classes. Nevertheless it will get done. LOL

AND......

Family. They can be the ones that hurt you the most. Wish you can pick them like you do your friends.

AND.....

Work. Starting to learn the politics of the office. Individuals you THINK have your back and sincerely care, the main ones who will stab you in your back!! Thinking about keeping to myself like I was doing when I first started. I do not need to know EVERYTHING that is going on in the office.

AND......

The new Batman movie and The Color Purple play were excellent choices for this weekend!!! I recommend them both!

So I been thinking........

AND........

I realize that I may be a walking contradiction.

ALSO

I whine entirely to much for my age.

I have an addictive personality.

I try to be hard, but I am not.

I am a great friend and sister.

I give excellent advice, but I do not use it in my own life.

I cannot decide if I want micro braids or a sewn in before I cut my hair all off for my birthday (like I do every year since I was 18)

I am lazy and it is the reason for some of my failures.

I am organize, but messy (organize chaos as I call it).

I KNOW that I do need to be getting involved with someone, BUT really wanting to!!!

I just discovered Sudoku, and I am loving it!

I am a closet nerd and I am about to start coming "out" to people! LOL

Oh and lastly, I am a very blessed individual and would not trade anything.

HOLLA!

Mr. West Dancing!! To funny

So everyone should know that I am in love with Kanye West. Some people think I am crazy for liking everything that people hate about him, but who cares!!! Thats my baby! Anyway, here is this video with him and other guy I would love to meet (Andre 3000). The best thing is they are dancing like some Temptation type group. Nevertheless I have fell in love with Mr. West even more because like me, he cannot catch a beat to save his life!! LOL Enjoy!!

I did it!!! The start of an empire!

I LAUNCHED MY BUSINESS TODAY!!!!!

I am so excited! YEA!!! The website is up, put up some flyer's, UPS mailing address, business cards, and more advertising material will be available to me by the end of the week. However most importantly, it is more than likely that I will have a client by Monday of next week!! Cannot wait to get this started. Have some networking events lined up and everything. I know that it is going to take some time to build it up, but I feel that it can become a great side hustle.


Wish me luck!

Qualities I want my mate to have

Since I am on the subject of men and I mentioned that I made a list of characteristics/qualities that I wanted my mate to have, I feel that it is only fair that I share them with you. Also I would like feedback on if I am being unrealistic.

1. God-fearing. Someone who is where I am with God or better. Has to love God more than he will love me. Pray with me, bring me closer to God.
2. Book lover. Will enjoy going to book stores with me.
3. Someone I can travel with, take home to mama, and bring around my girls. Can take him to the hood and work related events (basically be a "switcher" like myself).
4. An educated man (book & street smarts), but one that knows not to cross the line or embrass me with his intellect. Willing to broaden my horizons.
5. I need to be intimidated by him in the beginning (do not ask me why - its a turn on), helps me step my game up. Keep me on my toes.
6. A man of virtue and pushes me to be a better me. The other side of me that I have been looking for. A man that knows he is not perfect but can learn, adapt, and is willing to do all he can to keep me happy.
7. A man that can and will take care of me, have my back, and be the first one to call with my good news.
8. Someone to visit on lonely weekends just for me to talk his ear off about my childhood, how much I have changed, and what the future has in store for me.
9. Someone to try new things with even though they may seem corny.
10. Can cook!
11. Has a STABLE job.
12. He values family and have a stable relationship with them.
13. FAITHFUL. Someone who believes in having one woman.
14. A man who believes in getting to know a female before entering into a sexual relationship.
15. A man who likes me because of my strength, but allows me to be vulnerable.
16. A man who understands my independence, but knows he is needed.
17. A man who is independent, but makes me feel wanted/needed.
18. A man who is ambitious as I.
19. Attractive and healthy who has style and flava.
20. A man who will open me up sexually (if there is any further you can take me! LOL), who is open to try new things in the bedroom and bring out another side to each other!

Thats it. What do you think? Am I doing to much?

Spiritual Sunday -- Praying for my future husband

This is not one of those, “Please God send me a man!” prayers. I am not ASKING for a man, more of me praying for the man I KNOW is coming into my life. I have faith that God is going to bring my “Godly Man” to me, but I just want to pray for him. God completely knows my future husband already. He knows his thoughts, struggles, triumphs, fears, and failures. So if I am praying daily for myself to become a better child of God, I feel that it only right for me to do this for my future mate. By praying for him, I am seeing that things can change for me. I see myself trying to become a better person, and a better child of God. I want to obtain a purer heart, all this in preparation for him, my future husband. For that reason, I will be making this a daily commitment.

It’s the least I can do (pray for him) because the person God has chosen for me is probably facing struggles just like me. So I will pray that God bless him and his family, order his day, encourage him in the Lord (want him to love God more than me), and in some way know that his future mate (me of course! LOL) is out there getting herself ready for him.

For example:
“God please watch over him today, bless his family and true friends.” God I ask that you give him strength to live each day to the fullest and continue to strive to be a better child to You. Please provide him with the strength to be able to resist worldly desires so that he can live in THIS world, but not OF it.”

I also pray for a Godly understanding of what a real relationship/marriage is suppose to be. For someone who I can be better with and we can help each other grow spiritually. I want me and my mate to be equally yoke. Meaning I want him to be on the level I am or above. Meaning all the superficial things I used to ask for is going out the window. God knows what I am attractive to and I trust that whomever God put in my life I will be attractive to him. So why must we ask for physical features when we are asking God for a mate? With me offering my thoughts and prayers to God, I want to set my heart and mind on a completely different track. Instead of being upset/depress about not having a mate, I want to be excited/have anticipation about my “relationship”. Because even though it does not exist at the moment, I KNOW that it’s going to happen (again at His perfect timing), and I KNOW that it will be worth the wait!!

I also made a list of things that were important to me, things I considered important characteristics/qualities for my future mate to have. I placed it in my Bible and handed it over to God. If God does not bring this man I described on paper to me, it will be okay. I will be happy with whatever God wills me in this life time. When you give yourself, along with your problems and concerns to God, and also honor Him, He will give back to you one-hundred fold!! So I am going to pray for your future mate and his intentions, then just wait for God to bring this individual into my life.

Midnight Love

So I was on the phone with my sister last night (while playing on the internet) and I came across this song that me and her loved back in the day. Then we started traveling memory lane, about the guys we dated in high school (what were we thinking! LOL) and how BET's "Midnight Love" was the soundtrack of our lives at the time. LOL Here are just a few that top our list:


Allure's Last Chance


Az Yet's Last Night


Pressha's Splackavillie - Now this one top's the list. However I rather not give details! LOL


Mariah Carey's My All - I cried everytime I heard this time. I thought I was so heartbroken (if I had only known the drama that was ahead in college). To this day I have to listen to it like three times in a row.


The Tony Rich Project's Nobody Knows


Kenny Lattimore's For You


Jesse Powell's You


Uncle Sam's I don't ever want to see you again


Uncle Sam's You are


Rome's I belong To You - Man this was the stuff (finding alternative words for curse words LOL)!! Oh my gosh! No words!


Man, those was the days! I thought life was so hard (teenagers - full of drama). Thanks for going down memory lane with me.

Not a quitter!!!

So I am going to try ONE MORE TIME (with regard to the LSAT). I know what I did wrong last time, I am going to improve on my weaknesses, and not talk about it! Just going to show action!! I feel good about it. Wish me luck and send up a prayer or two, three, four..... LOL!

Hey! Three times a charm OR three strikes and your out! LOL

Faith without works is dead, and thats basically what I did and have been doing for quite some time.

Spiritual Sunday -- Organized religion versus Spirituality

1. Love God with all my heart, body, and soul. Place no other person, place, and/or thing before Him.
2. Treat and love my neighbor as I would want to be treated and/or love.
3. Know that and truly believe that Jesus died for our sins.
4. Abide by the law of the land provided by the local and federal government.

If I am doing all these things, aren’t I living a “saved Christian” life? Where does “organized religion” fit in? Am I more of a spiritual person rather than a religious person? In my opinion, SPIRITUALITY is born in a person and develops in the person (of course by God). We all have it, whether we know or practice it. It’s really simple: We want to be happy and live a "good" life, and we want to be "good" and do the right things. True spirituality is something that is found deep within oneself. It is your way of loving, accepting and relating to the world and people around you. However this does not mean that it can not be found in church. I myself have join and became very active in a wonderful church. See I found spirituality by religion and by revelation. As Oprah says, I had my “AH HA moment” lately.

So how does organized religion come into play (especially for me personally)? Well in my opinion, we develop questions that we feel and learned that as humans we to turn to an authority to tell us answers. So this was supposed to be the purpose and origin of religion. Organized Religion (in my opinion) is a man made, culture based set of guidelines that guides its people in the practice of spirituality. Organized Religion is a good thing that in some cases has had bad consequences on some individual’s spirituality (especially me). Meaning I do not think religion is bad, but that it is being applied in a bad way. With organized religion, I often take from it at times judgment, fear, gossip, trying to see what individuals have on, who came to church with someone, and a bunch of rules and rituals. However with spirituality, I get love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony, and this brings about happiness to me. It is basically specifically explaining number one and two above. Also this is mainly what “worldly people” come and try to seek at church.

I believe it is correct to say that what some organized religion teaches and practice today is not what God has instructed us to do. I feel this way because they have adopted their own beliefs to fit their own agenda. This had me confuse and I started to lack faith. I started to understand how some individuals lose faith and give up God, quitting Him because of hypocrisy and the sinful nature of man/church. This is why it’s so critical to have a personal relationship with Christ and not follow a religion. God will never let hold of you and He never quits on us. The choice is ours. He gives us free will. He created each one of us to worship Him, and Him alone.

For many of those brought up in traditional religions, we have walls around our true selves that need to be knocked down, sometimes brick by brick, before we can see that the bricks are only an illusion keeping us separate from each other and from Spirit. Most religions, while they contain many truths, are fear-based. By being this way, they limit the amount of love we can give to ourselves, and therefore naturally, the love that we can give each other. Instead, we judge, we fear, we hold back - and we don’t even recognize that we are doing so. Once we can realize with our logical mind that religions were originally created to help mankind deal with the great fear of death and dying. It will be easier to move on to a higher expression of love and divine connection.

There are still things that I need to pray about and get wisdom about. I am no longer completely and greatly frighten of death and the unknown. A lot of things I feared are no longer there. I am developing contentment in myself because I am learning my place and purpose here on earth. However I have learned that I can be a spiritual person and attend an organized religion establishment without being religious. It sounds strange, but this is my path. I truly believe and know that I am bless to have found a church that has a preacher that is divine and provides me with the spiritual nourishment and knowledge I need to have in order to continue to develop and strength my relationship with God. Do I feel that this is the path for everyone? No, but for me it is. I am on this quest to have a fulfilling intimate relationship with God and I have been blessed to find a man of God who provides me with the growth in establishing that relationship. As for the church as a whole, I do not get caught up in the whole politics of it. I attend Sunday service and Wednesday bible study to get the daily nourishment I need, I attend classes that are God-based and critical yet does not have an one sided view on things, and most importantly it helps me develop relationships with like minded individuals that God put on my heart to meet. Not because they are the most popular in church or because they can do something for me.

LSAT Results

Think about the worst score you can make, well I did worse than that!! You may ask how do I feel about it.

Well......

Can you be at peace about it and still cry? Because that is what happened to me. However just when I was about to sit here and write a "woe is me" post (AGAIN -- seems that is all I do lately), I came across this you tube clip. It put everything in prospective and at the end of the day I know everything is going to be okay.

John Legend sung it calmly and lets you focus on the message and not necessarily how well he can sang! Inspirational vitamin of the day.