Happy New Year!!!!!!

Happy New Year everyone!!!

2009 has been a crazy year to say the least and I am hoping and praying that 2010 will be so much better. Tons of things has happened since the last post and 2010 will be an exciting year for me and the blog. Let's just say that I am in a new place (mentally and physical location aka new state!!).

Look forward for year 2 of "My Quarter Life Crisis" to be an exciting year!!!!

Once again..... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

Investing in Myself

I got this idea from one of my favorite blogs Dream and Hustle.

Mr. Dream & Hustle specified that in order to invest in yourself, you need to learn new skills and create portfolios for presentation that can help you deal with the right people who can get you in the right places. Well that is my focus right now (with my personal and professional life).

I have created “I’m Hungry” folders. In these folders, I am working on the following items:

1. Establishing better writing/grammar skills.
2. Learning about creating and maintaining websites.
3. REALLY getting my business up and running.
4. Completing some kind of public speaking course.
5. Networking with like minded individuals.
6. Learning Spanish and Japanese
7. Research and learn about International Law and Business
8. Learning how to efficiently draft different types of legal agreements.
9. Become proficient in MS programs.
10. Obtaining my real estate license.
11. Making something happen with my blogs.

Lastly of course is getting into law school and actually graduating this time. J

Look who's back!!! (This time for real LOL)

Hey everybody!!!! Long time no hear huh? LOL!

Well I am back. Life has really got in the way this year.

I also started an additional blog call BOOK SNOB WANNABE. Check it out:

http://www.booksnobwannabe.blogspot.com/

So what have I been doing? Just the normal quarter life crisis things……….

Living Arrangements
12/31/08 I got my own place!!!!! I love it!

Job
It is becoming an extremely stressful situation.

Misc
I am trying my best to conquer my addictions one day at a time.
I went natural!!!
I am making exercise apart of my daily routine.
Finally found someone to talk to (a professional of course).

Hobbies
I completed a new “Vision Board”.
I started a “QLC” scrapbook.
Have a summer reading plan (25 books) which can be found on my book blog!
Creating a Look book

Things I am thinking of doing:
Learning to sew
Learning Spanish

Things I cannot let go of:
I took the LSAT (AGAIN) and I am going to apply to law school.

My goal is to have at least ONE post a week. This is a commitment to me because I really need to work on my writing skills and I really want something to come from this blog (and my other one, and the one I am going to start Jan 2010. LOL). I have been jotting down tons of ideas; it is the matter of finding time (more like making time) and working on them.

Quote of the day

I saw this in the comment section on another blog and it was a light blub moment for me!

"Simply paying the bills, and existing, isn’t sufficient."

I need to start doing something about it.......

Been on a Blogging Break (more like procrastination)

To whatever few readers I have left:

I took what one would call a “blogging break”. I have diagnosed myself with an extreme case of procrastination.

I really need to work on putting first things first. I am going to use the next week to concentrate on getting some things together and getting organize.

However I am back and ready to blog my brains out!!! (so lame!)

I have sooooo much to write about that its crazy!

Cleaning House in 2009!

I have been really busy mentally lately and so when my mom sent this email to me, it described exactly what I was going through.

Last Week I threw out worrying, it was getting old and in the way.

It kept me from being me; I couldn't do things God's way.

I threw out a book on MY PAST (Didn't have time to read it anyway).

Replaced it with NEW GOALS, started reading it today.

I threw out hate and bad memories, (Remember how I treasured them so)?

Got me a NEW PHILOSOPHY too, threw out the one from long ago.

Brought in some new books too, called I CAN, I WILL, and I MUST.

Threw out I might, I think and I ought. WOW, you should have seen the dust.

I ran across an OLD FRIEND, I hadn't talked to in a while. His name is GOD the Father, and I really like His style.He helped me to do some cleaning and added some things Himself.

Like PRAYER, HOPE, FAITH and LOVE,Yes... I placed them right on the shelf.

I picked up this special thing and placed it at the front door.

I FOUND IT- it's called PEACE. Nothing gets me down anymore.Yes, I've got my house looking nice.Looks good around the place.

For things like Worry and Trouble there just isn't any space.

It's good to do a little house cleaning.

Get rid of the things on the shelf.It sure makes things brighter; maybe you should TRY IT YOURSELF.BE BLESSED AND BE A BLESSING TO SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

Complainer

Day 36 of 40

You know how there are some people in the world that you hate to see coming because they ALWAYS complaining about something? I hate to say it, but I think that person is me. Okay…….I know that person is me. LOL! I complain entirely too much, and it is sad when you yourself is the one who realize it.

It always starts off innocently, I could be talking about something and I will find the negative in it. Complaining is a part of most my daily exchanges. I even use complaints as icebreakers.

However even though I have a lot of stuff to work on in my life, compared to others (especially in this recession and holiday period) I am doing pretty good.

I am healthy and able bodied.
I have a warm and safe place to sleep at night.
I have family and a few friends I can depend on.
I have a reliable car that can take me from A to B.
I have a job that provides income to live off of and to take care of necessary expenses.
I have food to eat.

After realizing that I needed to stop surrounding myself around negative people and/or individuals who are not trying to better themselves, I had to take a look at myself. I thought, “What is it about me that makes me want to be around these people or why do they want to be around me?” “How can I bring more positive people in my life?”

Well it starts with me!

Sunday at church, the preacher made it quite clear. If it is one thing that God does not like, it is a complainer. He can tolerate/forgive you when He sees you TRYING, but if you are just giving up and complaining about the situation without doing anything about it, well that is just UNACCEPTABLE.

How can I complain about my living situation when some people do not know where they will lay their head tomorrow or if they will even have a home?

How can I complain about being lonely because I am not in a relationship when I have friends and family who I KNOW I can trust 100% and they will never let me down?

How can I complain about my job and boss when over a million people have lost their jobs and do not know where the next meal will come from?

I am starting to wonder how many things have I missed out on in life because of my complaining.

Instead of looking at the each negative point in your life, take the time to look at it in a positive light.

I NEED TO BE MORE GRATEFUL.

God created each and every one of us with free will. That means that we choose our thoughts and I (and you) do not have to accept every negative thought/image that comes to mind.

So starting today, I am making a conscious effort to not complain (and whine because I am good at that also). It will be an extremely hard task for me, but it is an important step to take in my quest for spiritual and mental growth!

FOUR MORE DAYS AND THE DETOX WILL BE COMPLETE!!!

I have so much to share.

Detox for the mind, body, and soul - PART ONE

Day 6 of 40

Since turning 26, I've found myself becoming much more reflective and serious about my life. Not that I wasn’t before, but now in a much lucid perspective. Nor am I taking myself too seriously, but I’m starting to notice how much more aware I am of myself, my thoughts, relationships with others, career, path and purpose. I feel that I am sort of grieving and putting away my young self. Nevertheless I am extremely excited and deathly afraid of what is in store.

I am always searching out for women older than me to get their perspective on life and ask did they go through the same things at this age and stage. When I hear all these amazing stories of women truly finding themselves in their 40’s and 50’s, I am like, “Dang! Am I going to be crazy for another 15 years?!”

So here I am trying to gain some knowledge to get me through these twenties, and all they can say is, “Girl your 20’s are going to be some of the best and worst times of your life.” The majority of them felt that their 20’s were so hard for them and life gets so much better in your 30’s and up.

Last week as I was getting dress for work, I looked in the mirror and thought, I’m grown!

I finally believe that I am coming into my own. Meaning I know what makes me happy and I want to try and find ways to achieve those things NOW so that I can become a truly happy and content woman.

My passion for history, writing (regardless if I think I am good or not) and entrepreneurship has been weighing heavy on me that I feel like I am suffocating from it. How can I turn my passions into some kind of reality? I have ton of ideas, but currently I am living in a reality where I am extremely in debt, living with a relative and wanting my own place, working a job that does not appreciate my skills and experience with crappy pay, wanting a man-but knowing I do not NEED a man in my life right now, and most importantly trying to achieve a goal that I know deep down inside is not a dream I dream for myself anymore. AHHHHHH!!!!!

With all of this going on in my head, I came to the conclusion that I need to detoxify my mind, body, and soul.

On Monday, November 10, 2008, I started my 40 day detox. The reason I picked the number 40 was because in the bible it means completion/perfect. Instead of starting January first, I decided to start as soon as possible. In my opinion the number 40 represents a proficiency of time that is long enough or large enough to remove doubt; long enough and large enough to prove God's point.

I just want a greater sense of well being, break some bad habits, let go of past failures and regrets. I know that I will not find all my answers in this period, but I would love to start a new year off at a different place.

I keep/kept fighting myself about taking this route. Nevertheless I knew that I had to do something because I am not happy with anything these days. I have this constant state of anxiousness and fear. I am unsatisfied with my looks (these damn 15 pounds UGHHH), I always feel bloated (because of the horrible foods that I consume), I cannot sleep or I am sleeping my days away, and I am always tired and restless to the point of not wanting to do anything, much less read, work on my business, and/or blog. I cannot keep focus or concentrate on anything except the damn television. Basically I just feel “blah” 24/7.

Someone told me that if I want optimum performance, I will need to put optimum nourishment in my mind, body and soul.

The following things are being eliminated while on the detox:

Limited or no TV

No cold drinks (soda to you city folks) - basically Coca-cola because I drink it like water.

Fried foods

McDonalds (10 piece nugget meal)

Dairy products and sugar

Processed food

Meat (Lord help us all! LOL)

Sex/masturbation

The following things are being included in my life permanently:

Walking at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes

Doing YOGA

Water!!!! - This will be hard because I HATE water.

Meditation

I started off slow. The first week was basically getting a new routine for sleeping. Trying to obtain 8 hours of sleep. Instead of my usually 4-6 weekdays/10-12 weekends. Last week I also started drinking a bottle of smart water a day. Slowly trying to move away from Cokes.

This week is my FIVE day major food detox. Meaning nothing but water, fruits and veggies, maybe some grill fish, limited TV (2-3 days), meditation, yoga, and walking all five days. Today is day one and I miss coke and television sooo much!!!! However it is for the better good.

I will keep you all posted.

I have to admit something, I am a SLOW BLOGGER!

I am going to get straight to the point.

There are some bloggers out there who make me very intimidated. These bloggers write with such heartiness and enthusiasm that sometimes I do not feel worthy of posting. However I realized that I put this pressure on myself really. The purpose of this blog was/is to express my feelings about my transition into this thing called womanhood and everything that comes along with it. Meaning I write about my issues with my career, men, money, spirituality, weight, etc. Everything a 20 something think is important. MY LIFE EXPERIENCES. However while writing this year, I realize that I have been feeling the stress and pressure to publish at LEAST 9-10 posts a month (which for some is the amount of posts they do a day) and if I do not, I feel like I have failed in some way.

With that being said, I feel like there are gifted individuals that have the competence, vigor, and wit to write insightful posts daily. I wish I had the ability to write like them. They have this extra-ordinary (at least in my opinion) way of explaining things that I can only wish I was able to do. They make me want to be a better writer. Hell, they make me want to be a writer period.

So I can only go at a pace I can handle. My pace gives me perspective to think over an idea and develop it. Some ideas I have about a post I have been thinking about for months and sometimes they come out as I write them, like this one. I feel like I need to take my time to write and to think about what exactly I want to say. Because truthfully I am not very good at articulating my views/emotions/opinions in the best intelligent way I want to.

I love blogs that take their time to live before talking about it in their blogs. Because lets be serious, you need to live your own feelings and experiences before trying to write about them in a blog. For it gives them the experience to develop an idea and/or opinion before bringing it to their blogs. Sometimes I get so caught up in their blogs that I do not take the time out to develop posts for my own. However please believe that I have been going through and living in some crazy times that I should have posts for months!! LOL!!

So the next time you come across my page and I have not written a post in awhile, do not think that I have forgot about yall. I am just out living! Trust me you will read about it later! LOL!

Mental Organization

So I need to clean out my mind. What does that mean? Well it basically mean that I have to much stuff going on in my head and it is driving me crazy!!!! Just chaos.

1. I have asked and received YES answers from 3 individuals with regards to writing me a letter of recommendation for law school. Now I just need to find three more. I am seriously considering asking the CEO of my company. I talk to a couple of VPs at work and they think he will do it without hesitation.
2. Get organize in my room. Meaning I need to organize bills, writings, ideas, articles, debt elimination documents, etc. I truly believe once you are organize that it clears your head and leaves you at peace.
3. Contact the county’s “Van-to-work” program so that instead of using my car (which means filling up twice a week and adding over 100 miles per week on my car) I can ride the van to work.
4. Find an English class to take so that my grammar, vocabulary, and writing skills can be better for law school (speaking and living it into existence), business, blogging, and my future life as an “author”.
5. Study for the LSAT.
6. EXERCISE!
7. Get back to reading and posting on this blog.
8. Designate a day to focus on writing and bible study.
9. Get back into my hobbies.
10. Focus on my mental, physical, and spiritual detox.
11. Start the sewing class on Saturdays which means that I need to find out if I need a sewing machine. LOL
12. Continue to work on my EMPIRE (well my small start up business)!!
13. Get career goals and future businesses organized and on paper.

Another Saturday wasted.....

So its Saturday and like every week while at work, I plan tons of things to do on my "free Saturdays".

Free Saturdays are Saturdays where no one is in town, no special events are going on, and no major errands to run. Just a empty/free Saturday.

Anyhoo, as I was stating before, I plan tons of things to do on these days (read, clean up, blog, catch up on fav blogs, check out new blogs, study, read, work on business, and catch up on shows I have on Tivo). However today I did hardly any. I just laid in bed (as I am doing now), played on Youtube (damn this great website), watched HGTV, and threw a pity party for myself.

Who was invited to my pity party?

1. Wanting my own place.
2. Being jealous that an ex is getting married today. Now I do not want him, but I am jealous none the less. It just reminded me that I am a single lady with no candidates at all.
3. Feeling fat (even though I know I am NOWHERE near fat, but just bigger than I have ever been) and not doing anything about it.
4. Being mad at myself because I feel that I am never satisfied.
5. Lastly, having tons of things/ideas/feelings going on in my head that are driving me crazy!

Its 6pm and I have nothing to show for this day. NOTHING!! I am getting tired of wasting away my "free Saturdays", but do not know how to motivate myself.

Things to do this summer

Being that I am dating myself, here are some things I want to do this summer:

1. Learn how to play pool better. When I was younger my grandparents owned a nightclub right next door to my house, and me and her (my grandmother) use to hustle men out of there money in pool games. I was really good back then.
2. Walk a 5K. Lets be honest, that’s all I can really do for now and I have to start somewhere.
3. Going to TWO concerts with friends (or by myself).
4. Search myspace and look for independent artists in my area. Because right now radio SUCKS!!!
5. Since I have reconnect with so many childhood friends through myspace, once a week, contact one and catch up.
6. At least once this summer, take in a “Movie in the Park” and “Concert in the Park”.
7. Since I grew up on baseball/softball, I found a park that has a league near me. Now I will not be participating (LOL), but I will attend a game or two.
8. Go to Stone Mountain and climb the damn mountain.
9. Go to Six Flags and the water park
10. Read at least THREE books (pertaining to history)
11. Go to some “Jazz Night” events.
12. Go to a reggae bar and meet a man with an accent and just listen to him talk. However I will not exchange phone numbers, just want to live with the fantasy.
13. Get involve in a spades tournament or just have a spades party.
14. Learn how to play chess
15. Go see the play, “The Color Purple” (well I will be doing this in July)
    
    

My Vision

So above is my vision board. This basically means these are the things/goals/dreams that I wish to obtain and/or accomplish. Its from the smallest silliest pleasure (perfume --so not in my budget!!) to of course my ultimate career goal of graduating from law school and becoming a business owner. Being that I have been really down in the dumps (hence why I have not been posting on a daily basis) I needed something to continue to drive me. I truly believe in talking things into existence. So I think about it, visualize it, talk about it, and work towards it. Now all I need to accomplish is PATIENCE. Even though I know that things worth having does not come over night. I still feel like I am not moving forward. Nevertheless I advise EVERYONE to make a vision board (I actually think I am about to make another one) and post it somewhere you can see it everyday (mine is on the back of my bedroom door). See it everyday is a constant reminder of what I need/want to do!!

Have you kept up with your commitments (resolutions) so far?

I know that many of us own vehicles, so you know that after a certain mileage (my warranty information says every 5000 miles) we have to change our oil. If you are wondering what oil has to do with commitments and resolutions, well…….

Since April will be here in any minute, it is time for me to check and see how I am doing with regards to the commitments I posted earlier this year. I need to (and you to if you made commitments/resolutions) go through and see where I am at with them and to let go of negative ideals, decisions, and people I have obtain this first quarter of the year.

Lets start with determining if I have added negative ideals, decisions, and people into my life. NO!! (Confession – maybe a bad choice or two when it came to men!)

Now that I have that out the way, lets get to the commitments.

Stop living to please other people. This one I am being tested on currently. I am trying to not care what they (meaning family mostly) think and continue to live a life that makes me happy, but……. Basically I still need to work on this one. I purposely did not tell anyone except an extremely few that I was taking on the task of applying to law school. I have enough things to worry about so I do not need anyone telling me I cannot do it or telling me I told you so if I do not get accepted. A major example is me not telling my fam and friends about my blog. Well they know about it, but I will not give them the site. I know that if they were to read it, I would censor my posts and that’s not fair to me or my readers.

Bringing positive people in my life and eliminating the negative ones. I feel like I have accomplished this task successfully. It’s to the point where I am now (thanks to Nerd Girl) trying to be more positive myself. When someone asks me how I am doing, instead of focusing on the negative, find something positive to say. However if I have nothing positive to say, just say I AM DOING GREAT!

Always have something new and big on your agenda. Lets see………..I can safely say that this is going well also. Career path – CHECK! Hobbies – CHECK! Training for my marathon – NOT YET

Never live in the past. Also a work in progress. I have learned to forgive individuals who have wronged me, but I still cannot forget nor stop feeling the pain they have caused me. This makes me feel even worse because I need to learn how do you forgive and let go. This is something that I pray about daily. However I do know that I have made progress. TRUST.

I am getting better at living life and learning to appreciate this stage (chapter) of my life!

The LSAT is less than 90 days away!!!!!!

JUNE 16, 2008. I have less than 90 days left before I take an exam that will make or break my chances into getting into law school. I am planning to study 3 days a week and every other weekend until it is time for the exam. Next Saturday I am schedule to take a practice exam and after the exam they will provide me with the score, my weak areas, and suggestions to obtain a higher score. There are several preparation courses out there, but I do not have $500 - $1000 to give to them. Even though my job is willing to reimburse me, I do not have the money upfront (sad but true). I am just blessed that I have a job that is willing to pay for me to take a test to see IF I can get into law school, much less extremely bless because they are willing to pay for me to take a preparation course for the test. I feel like they can see the potential in me and willing to invest the time and money for me to obtain a higher degree.

I personally see it as a win - win situation. They invest the money and resources in me so that once I receive my law degree, I can become a staff attorney and give them a number of years of employment. I see me benefiting from this because:

1. I am securing myself job security at a job I presently love going to (even though some new management get on my nerves).


2. I will be working under (and I hope she writes one of my recommendation letters) one of the only ladies in the franchise law arena.


3. I will be gaining tons of experience in the corporate world and in three to four different areas of law. (franchise, contracts, trademarks, real estate)

So I think that everyone will win in this matter!!!! Please wish me luck!!! I will keep you updated.

Rejection

I consider myself a God-fearing, motivated, ambitious, and goal driven individual. Nevertheless due to certain circumstances that have happened in my life (good and bad), I am now prone to procrastination. I plan everything I set out to do (yes I am truly anal like that) to the very "tee". Meaning day to day, month to month, year to year. I have been doing this since the summer before my freshman year of high school. I had a pretty good track record too. I complete everything I set forth in doing that I put on my "To-Do List for Life".

I went to the college I wanted to go, made the GPAs I set forth to obtaining, planned what semester to get a car, planned what semester to move off campus, to join my sorority, and planned to graduate early from college to rest and get prepared for my ultimate goal in life. The goals that I mention—ACCOMPLISHED.

Nevertheless the ultimate goal has yet to be "accomplished".

Completing law school.

Have you ever worked extremely hard to get somewhere and when you made it there you wondered why am I here?

Rejection.

I was afraid to move, to succeed at what I worked for, for as long as I could remember due to fear of failure and rejection.

Initially, when I thought about my history it didn't make sense to me. How can I be afraid of rejection when, on most accounts, I haven't experienced it? After digging a little deeper I realized that I've seldom experienced rejection, not because I'm so grand or anything like that, but because I'd never put myself out there long enough to be rejected.

Well I was rejected (flunking out of law school) in a sense, by my own doing. This has haunted me now for almost 4 years. The situation handicapped me. I became one of those individuals that I always talked about: a person who stays in the same element because they are scared of change.

If I'm honest, even now there are so many things that I've been "planning" to do that leave me feeling vulnerable to rejection. And it seems like the higher the stakes, the greater the feeling of vulnerability. But I know that it's necessary. Know that staying in the safe place can stifle growth. If you ever want to increase your faith, step out on nothing, meaning expect nothing to come from it. Move when God tells you to; even when you're uncertain of the outcome. Push past the fear. So I when I came to this milestone in my life: my 25th birthday, I am learning what is important in my life. One way is by eliminating the negativity and individuals who brings these negative forces in my life. I had to shed the "To do list for life" binder (yes it was worth needing a binder for-LOL), and just made a list of things that I wanted to work towards and accomplished. I know you are saying, "Isn't this the same thing?" HOWEVER this list does not have a time frame on it, and it does not run my life like the binder did. If it happens it happens and if it does not, it does not. There will not be any break downs if something does not happen according to my plan. Truthfully it is suppose to happen according to God's plan. I have truly learned this matter and my life is finally starting to come in place because of it.

The very rejection I feared dealing with flunking out of law school manifested in me for years. And guess what, I lived! Not only did I live, but God closed that door, and I truly feel because He is going to open up a greater one. Hallelujah. As crazy as it sounds to me, I thank God that He allowed me to experience rejection and failure. I hope you get rejected and/or fail too (smile). I'm serious, I hope hearing someone say 'No' motivates you to soar, and reach for better. Why settle for ground level, when God is calling you higher? Turn that rejection into fuel. If you are anything like me, it will only stir your persistence.

I am currently studying for the LSAT and will apply to law school for Fall 2009. I know that I flunking out was not because I could not do it, but it was because I was scare of what the future would bring. I kept wondering was I good or smart enough to be here with the rest of the individuals. I did not have enough confidence in me nor God for that matter, and that is just a recipe for disaster.

P.S. The "Ulimate Goal' will eventually go to the accomplished list....IF it is according to God's plan.

Thanks everyone for reading this and I hope it helps you in some way.

Commitments to living my life to the fullest

For about the last 4-5 years, every year I have had “New Year’s Resolutions”. Every one of those years, maybe by day 4 or 5 (or less) I have either stopped doing it/them or I have never even started on it/them. With that being said, last year after again not following through with my resolutions, I decided to STOP MAKING THEM!!! LOL!! This year instead of making resolutions, I have made commitments. The following is the commitments I promise to live by. These commitments do not need a start and end date. Whenever you decide in your mind and heart to start, will be the day your life will change forever. It is just February and I am seeing major changes already. However not all changes feel good at first, but knowing that you are making the right decision for your future makes it easier (at least for me) to stick to your guns.

1. Stop living to please other people.

This means in my life, I have to stop worrying about certain parts of my family and their opinions of me. I do not feel like I am a disappointment to them, but I do believe that they are still viewing me as a child and they feel like I need their input on every aspect of my life. It is time for me to do what I feel is best for my life and stop worrying about how its going to make them look to other people. It is like they only want me to do good (regardless of my feelings or happiness) so they can brag on me to others, which at the end of the day makes them look (and our family) good in other people eyes. Now none of them had innocent backgrounds, but they just assume that me I am suppose to live this cookie cutter life and never do wrong. I am far from innocent and I have PLENTY of skeletons in my closet, but am I suppose to be ashamed about it? So basically I am going to stop putting effort into things that make them happy because they are the only ones benefiting from them.

2. Bringing positive people in my life and eliminating the negative ones.
With this commitment, it has been much easier than I thought it would be. I simply prayed to God to eliminate all individuals who were not doing me any good. I also prayed that He bring in like-minded Christian individuals. Some of the negative individuals who I had to cease communication with were family members and close associates. It just comes a time where you need to make changes and adjustments. People do not need to be in your life only because they have ALWAYS been there. For instance the friend/family member who only calls when they need you, but some how is never around when you need them. How about the person who only like you when something is going wrong in your life, but is always frowning up or not calling back when you have good things to say? Then you have the ones who put you down so that they can feel good about themselves. I have been and will continue to surround myself around individuals who care and support me in my good and bad times. I was always told that you look at your 5 closest friends, and if you are doing better than all of them, it is time to get some new friends.

3. Always have something new and big on your agenda.
Well this is just a perfect commitment for me. Being that I organize everything, I have so many plans. As far as my career, I want to gain two promotions in 5 years (highly obtainable where I work) and hopefully in the next 5 to 10 years, own several rental properties and at least 2 businesses. Now some people feel like this is a lot and love to tell me that I am over my head. Well those are some of the individuals who had to be let go. I just learned that some things have to be shown and not told about. As with my hobbies, there are so many. I think learning is a life long continuing process. So currently I am studying the Bible and the historical origins from where it comes from. This was a struggle at first because of the contradictions, but I had to learn to use the Bible in two ways, academically and personal relationship. Also I am self studying our history, meaning complete world history in a chronological order. As you can see 2008 is bringing out my inner nerd. However can you know where you are going, if you do not know where you come from? Lastly, I will like to run a marathon so this year is all about training for it. I love looking forward to milestones and events, they stimulate me. This is because it gives me a reason to get out of bed and it increases my desire to work towards my goals. Actually putting wheels into motion makes me feel better and excited to keep it up.

4. Never live in the past.
This was and is the most difficult one. I have not been in a serious relationship in 4 years. I am learning to stop dwelling on what would have happened if I had forgave him. Even though in my hearts of hearts I know he was not the one and we were just kids. Also I have to forgive myself on giving up and not finishing law school. Sometimes I think I am over it, but then I talk to friends and old regrets set in. It’s hard because I have to be truly happy for individuals who have my dream, but this is for another post. Lastly and most important is the ability to get past childhood issues I have with a certain person who was in my life at that time. I have carried the hate in me for so long that it is all I know when it comes to feeling that way about the individual and situation. It has defined my life when it comes to men, trusting individuals, and being able to show affection and love to others. However right now I am focusing on the here and now and what I need to do to move forward. This commitment will have to be looked at again continually through out the year.

So with all of that being said, I am learning to take care of myself emotionally (spiritually). Taking care of myself emotionally means living in a way that makes me feel inspired, hopeful, self-confident, playful, loving and in touch with what I care about the most. I received an email today stating Guidelines to live by in 2008. It was basically different quotes to help you open your mind, think, and have a better year than last year. However the very last quote got to me, “First I was dying to finish high school and start college. Then I was dying to finish college and start working. Then I was dying to marry and have children. Then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I go back to work. Then I was dying to retire. NOW I AM DYING AND SUDDENLY I REALIZED THAT I FORGOT TO LIVE!!” I truly do not want that to be me and I see that this was the path I was taking. I want to appreciate each stage I encounter and enjoy them day by day to the fullest. By the commitments above, I feel I have a pretty good chance of living my life to the fullest.

Sorry for the long post!!!