Gratitude

Since cutting off my cable, coming upon my 27th birthday, and watching the 20th anniversary of Oprah’s show (I have it on DVD……LOL), I came across a segment that featured “Gratitude” and how she started a gratitude journal. These pass couple of months (well actually this pass year) a lot of things has happen to me and I see myself changing in ways I never imagined. I have always been the type of person who looked at the negative instead of the positive. Things are happening to people around me that I need to be more thankful for the life I have.

So for those reasons on Sunday I started a “gratitude journal”. EVERYDAY (well at least I am going to try to do it everyday) I plan to write FIVE THINGS I am grateful for. (Not on the blog of course, I want this to be very personal and use this to build up my spirituality)

That's all folks........

Investing in Myself

I got this idea from one of my favorite blogs Dream and Hustle.

Mr. Dream & Hustle specified that in order to invest in yourself, you need to learn new skills and create portfolios for presentation that can help you deal with the right people who can get you in the right places. Well that is my focus right now (with my personal and professional life).

I have created “I’m Hungry” folders. In these folders, I am working on the following items:

1. Establishing better writing/grammar skills.
2. Learning about creating and maintaining websites.
3. REALLY getting my business up and running.
4. Completing some kind of public speaking course.
5. Networking with like minded individuals.
6. Learning Spanish and Japanese
7. Research and learn about International Law and Business
8. Learning how to efficiently draft different types of legal agreements.
9. Become proficient in MS programs.
10. Obtaining my real estate license.
11. Making something happen with my blogs.

Lastly of course is getting into law school and actually graduating this time. J

Detox for the mind, body, and soul - PART ONE

Day 6 of 40

Since turning 26, I've found myself becoming much more reflective and serious about my life. Not that I wasn’t before, but now in a much lucid perspective. Nor am I taking myself too seriously, but I’m starting to notice how much more aware I am of myself, my thoughts, relationships with others, career, path and purpose. I feel that I am sort of grieving and putting away my young self. Nevertheless I am extremely excited and deathly afraid of what is in store.

I am always searching out for women older than me to get their perspective on life and ask did they go through the same things at this age and stage. When I hear all these amazing stories of women truly finding themselves in their 40’s and 50’s, I am like, “Dang! Am I going to be crazy for another 15 years?!”

So here I am trying to gain some knowledge to get me through these twenties, and all they can say is, “Girl your 20’s are going to be some of the best and worst times of your life.” The majority of them felt that their 20’s were so hard for them and life gets so much better in your 30’s and up.

Last week as I was getting dress for work, I looked in the mirror and thought, I’m grown!

I finally believe that I am coming into my own. Meaning I know what makes me happy and I want to try and find ways to achieve those things NOW so that I can become a truly happy and content woman.

My passion for history, writing (regardless if I think I am good or not) and entrepreneurship has been weighing heavy on me that I feel like I am suffocating from it. How can I turn my passions into some kind of reality? I have ton of ideas, but currently I am living in a reality where I am extremely in debt, living with a relative and wanting my own place, working a job that does not appreciate my skills and experience with crappy pay, wanting a man-but knowing I do not NEED a man in my life right now, and most importantly trying to achieve a goal that I know deep down inside is not a dream I dream for myself anymore. AHHHHHH!!!!!

With all of this going on in my head, I came to the conclusion that I need to detoxify my mind, body, and soul.

On Monday, November 10, 2008, I started my 40 day detox. The reason I picked the number 40 was because in the bible it means completion/perfect. Instead of starting January first, I decided to start as soon as possible. In my opinion the number 40 represents a proficiency of time that is long enough or large enough to remove doubt; long enough and large enough to prove God's point.

I just want a greater sense of well being, break some bad habits, let go of past failures and regrets. I know that I will not find all my answers in this period, but I would love to start a new year off at a different place.

I keep/kept fighting myself about taking this route. Nevertheless I knew that I had to do something because I am not happy with anything these days. I have this constant state of anxiousness and fear. I am unsatisfied with my looks (these damn 15 pounds UGHHH), I always feel bloated (because of the horrible foods that I consume), I cannot sleep or I am sleeping my days away, and I am always tired and restless to the point of not wanting to do anything, much less read, work on my business, and/or blog. I cannot keep focus or concentrate on anything except the damn television. Basically I just feel “blah” 24/7.

Someone told me that if I want optimum performance, I will need to put optimum nourishment in my mind, body and soul.

The following things are being eliminated while on the detox:

Limited or no TV

No cold drinks (soda to you city folks) - basically Coca-cola because I drink it like water.

Fried foods

McDonalds (10 piece nugget meal)

Dairy products and sugar

Processed food

Meat (Lord help us all! LOL)

Sex/masturbation

The following things are being included in my life permanently:

Walking at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes

Doing YOGA

Water!!!! - This will be hard because I HATE water.

Meditation

I started off slow. The first week was basically getting a new routine for sleeping. Trying to obtain 8 hours of sleep. Instead of my usually 4-6 weekdays/10-12 weekends. Last week I also started drinking a bottle of smart water a day. Slowly trying to move away from Cokes.

This week is my FIVE day major food detox. Meaning nothing but water, fruits and veggies, maybe some grill fish, limited TV (2-3 days), meditation, yoga, and walking all five days. Today is day one and I miss coke and television sooo much!!!! However it is for the better good.

I will keep you all posted.

Mental Organization

So I need to clean out my mind. What does that mean? Well it basically mean that I have to much stuff going on in my head and it is driving me crazy!!!! Just chaos.

1. I have asked and received YES answers from 3 individuals with regards to writing me a letter of recommendation for law school. Now I just need to find three more. I am seriously considering asking the CEO of my company. I talk to a couple of VPs at work and they think he will do it without hesitation.
2. Get organize in my room. Meaning I need to organize bills, writings, ideas, articles, debt elimination documents, etc. I truly believe once you are organize that it clears your head and leaves you at peace.
3. Contact the county’s “Van-to-work” program so that instead of using my car (which means filling up twice a week and adding over 100 miles per week on my car) I can ride the van to work.
4. Find an English class to take so that my grammar, vocabulary, and writing skills can be better for law school (speaking and living it into existence), business, blogging, and my future life as an “author”.
5. Study for the LSAT.
6. EXERCISE!
7. Get back to reading and posting on this blog.
8. Designate a day to focus on writing and bible study.
9. Get back into my hobbies.
10. Focus on my mental, physical, and spiritual detox.
11. Start the sewing class on Saturdays which means that I need to find out if I need a sewing machine. LOL
12. Continue to work on my EMPIRE (well my small start up business)!!
13. Get career goals and future businesses organized and on paper.

Another Saturday wasted.....

So its Saturday and like every week while at work, I plan tons of things to do on my "free Saturdays".

Free Saturdays are Saturdays where no one is in town, no special events are going on, and no major errands to run. Just a empty/free Saturday.

Anyhoo, as I was stating before, I plan tons of things to do on these days (read, clean up, blog, catch up on fav blogs, check out new blogs, study, read, work on business, and catch up on shows I have on Tivo). However today I did hardly any. I just laid in bed (as I am doing now), played on Youtube (damn this great website), watched HGTV, and threw a pity party for myself.

Who was invited to my pity party?

1. Wanting my own place.
2. Being jealous that an ex is getting married today. Now I do not want him, but I am jealous none the less. It just reminded me that I am a single lady with no candidates at all.
3. Feeling fat (even though I know I am NOWHERE near fat, but just bigger than I have ever been) and not doing anything about it.
4. Being mad at myself because I feel that I am never satisfied.
5. Lastly, having tons of things/ideas/feelings going on in my head that are driving me crazy!

Its 6pm and I have nothing to show for this day. NOTHING!! I am getting tired of wasting away my "free Saturdays", but do not know how to motivate myself.

10 books to read this summer

So occurring to my summer list I posted earlier, I am suppose to read 3 books this summer. However since I am adding an additional day to my "NO TV day", I have pushed it up to 10 books. Some books are serious intellectual food for the brain and some are junk food/candy for the brain! Have to have your balance.

1. The African Origin of Civilization by Cheikh Anta Diop. So I am reading this one because I have this thirst for history and where I (my people) actually came from. I had been searching for this book and kind of put it on the back burner, but thanks for Tasha212 I realize I needed to read it now. Thanks girl!!!

2. Boaz Brown by Michelle Stimpson. My co-worker suggested that I read this book because she loved it. I really was not interested in reading fiction and for the last 2 years I read self help, informative, spiritual, and history books. However something reading too much serious stuff can be a drag.

3. Up From Slavery by Booker T. Washington
4. Souls of Black Folk by W.E.B. DuBois
5. Narrative of the life of Fredrick Douglass by Fredrick Douglass
Well because they should be a requirement for EVERYONE!!!

6. Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game! by Holly Robinson Peete
Well I love football and need to brush up on the technicalities of the game. Plus it doesn't hurt to have the knowledge of the game when it comes to men!!! Love it when a women can talk sports and ACTUALLY knows what she is talking about!!! Got to brush up before football season starts!

7. Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubne

Interesting book with interesting material. Cannot wait to find out why drug dealers buy a Lexus, but still live in the projects with they mama (maybe they hood). Also would like to know why they say that a real estate agent and a KKK Klansman has major similarities.

8. Just Too Good to be True by E. Lynn Harris. Well because I read EVERY book written by this man. My guilty pleasure. Comes out July 15, 2008. 9. Trading Up by Candace Bushnell
It was $2.00 at my fav store (Plato's Closet) and its written by the Sex and the City creator. I am hoping that its great since I am trying to get into "Chick Lit" (white girl books - sorry but true). If its not, well I only paid 2 bucks.

10. Lovers & Players by Jackie Collins. Well you always hear about her and how great her books are, so I was like, "What the hell?" Plus it has black characters in this one and it was $3 at Borders. Question? Why the book with black characters got to be called, "Lovers & Players"?

Honorable Mention: Time lines of World History

I think this is going to be my favorite history book. There are pages that fold out, but the best thing about this book is that it has the history of the whole world, not just Europe, but also Africa, the Americas (before anyone had sailed over here), and Australia to name just the few that I can remember right now. It lists them all side-by-side, so if you want to see what happened in Africa during the time when Elizabeth I was Queen, then it shows you right on the page. Going to use this book to incorporate my study of world history (the real version - not want the GOVERNMENT want us to know! LOL).

The SEVEN Habits of HAPPY PEOPLE

So I was looking through my July 2008 Essence magazine (Pg. 107), and as I was flipping through and reading articles (which seems to be the same thing every other month), I came across something great. Since I have been going through my “woe is me” period, I think that this is a perfect way to start incorporating things in my life that will bring happiness. While writing this blog entry (during commercials of the BET Awards – major disappointment by the way) I realize that I am actually doing these things. So why aren’t I happier? Well I have come to the conclusion that I talk a good game, but never practice what I preach. So here goes…..Last result before going to a head doc.

Actually my #1 will be giving all my problems to God and the entry I wrote about on 6/19/08.

1. Hang out with joyful people.
The article suggests finding five POSITIVE interactions for every ONE NEGATIVE interaction. What? How am I going to do that? LOL. Nah it basically means surround yourself with positive individuals. Those who lift you up not let you down.

2. Move consistently toward your goals.
STAY ON THE PATH!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Meditate on your blessings.
Instead of the “woe is me”, I need to be thankful that I woke this morning because somebody did not!!!

4. Be good to yourself.
Basically eat right (currently going through a 9 day detox – its day 2 and I am needing a piece of meat!!!), exercise (finally started my program so that I can run the 5k for Labor day AND every other Friday I have a YOGA session!!! – I am going to be TOO sexy by my 26th birthday which is September 9th), and mentally (doing this shoot).

5. Connect, connect, and connect.
I think that this is basically number one. It’s just saying surround yourself with people and establish relationships with family and friends.

6. Go to church.
The article states that individuals that go to church (any faith) are happier than people who do not go or go once or twice a month. Now I am not the one to talk about this (I have an opinion on organized religion vs. spirituality – later post), but I say that for the last 2 months I did not attend church and when I stepped into the church last Sunday, I just had this calmness come over me. Now the word was good (mainly directed at the men), but it was just being in the house of the Lord that just made me feel good. Again for a later time.

7. Give—and forgive.
Now this one is a HARD one, I am constantly working on this one. I have a hard time forgiving people who have wrong me. However I was told that if you can not forgive someone, why do you expect God to forgive you of your wrong doing. With that being said, this is a constant battle. Even today at work, I had a bad day and for a minute I considered revenge and I thought about not talking (unless work related) to the individual. However where would that get me? I would be the one miserable, and along with giving power me, she would not even know that I am over at my cube all mad and booted up!!! LOL WOW. The power of the mind.

Things to do this summer

Being that I am dating myself, here are some things I want to do this summer:

1. Learn how to play pool better. When I was younger my grandparents owned a nightclub right next door to my house, and me and her (my grandmother) use to hustle men out of there money in pool games. I was really good back then.
2. Walk a 5K. Lets be honest, that’s all I can really do for now and I have to start somewhere.
3. Going to TWO concerts with friends (or by myself).
4. Search myspace and look for independent artists in my area. Because right now radio SUCKS!!!
5. Since I have reconnect with so many childhood friends through myspace, once a week, contact one and catch up.
6. At least once this summer, take in a “Movie in the Park” and “Concert in the Park”.
7. Since I grew up on baseball/softball, I found a park that has a league near me. Now I will not be participating (LOL), but I will attend a game or two.
8. Go to Stone Mountain and climb the damn mountain.
9. Go to Six Flags and the water park
10. Read at least THREE books (pertaining to history)
11. Go to some “Jazz Night” events.
12. Go to a reggae bar and meet a man with an accent and just listen to him talk. However I will not exchange phone numbers, just want to live with the fantasy.
13. Get involve in a spades tournament or just have a spades party.
14. Learn how to play chess
15. Go see the play, “The Color Purple” (well I will be doing this in July)