Gratitude

Since cutting off my cable, coming upon my 27th birthday, and watching the 20th anniversary of Oprah’s show (I have it on DVD……LOL), I came across a segment that featured “Gratitude” and how she started a gratitude journal. These pass couple of months (well actually this pass year) a lot of things has happen to me and I see myself changing in ways I never imagined. I have always been the type of person who looked at the negative instead of the positive. Things are happening to people around me that I need to be more thankful for the life I have.

So for those reasons on Sunday I started a “gratitude journal”. EVERYDAY (well at least I am going to try to do it everyday) I plan to write FIVE THINGS I am grateful for. (Not on the blog of course, I want this to be very personal and use this to build up my spirituality)

That's all folks........

Investing in Myself

I got this idea from one of my favorite blogs Dream and Hustle.

Mr. Dream & Hustle specified that in order to invest in yourself, you need to learn new skills and create portfolios for presentation that can help you deal with the right people who can get you in the right places. Well that is my focus right now (with my personal and professional life).

I have created “I’m Hungry” folders. In these folders, I am working on the following items:

1. Establishing better writing/grammar skills.
2. Learning about creating and maintaining websites.
3. REALLY getting my business up and running.
4. Completing some kind of public speaking course.
5. Networking with like minded individuals.
6. Learning Spanish and Japanese
7. Research and learn about International Law and Business
8. Learning how to efficiently draft different types of legal agreements.
9. Become proficient in MS programs.
10. Obtaining my real estate license.
11. Making something happen with my blogs.

Lastly of course is getting into law school and actually graduating this time. J

Look who's back!!! (This time for real LOL)

Hey everybody!!!! Long time no hear huh? LOL!

Well I am back. Life has really got in the way this year.

I also started an additional blog call BOOK SNOB WANNABE. Check it out:

http://www.booksnobwannabe.blogspot.com/

So what have I been doing? Just the normal quarter life crisis things……….

Living Arrangements
12/31/08 I got my own place!!!!! I love it!

Job
It is becoming an extremely stressful situation.

Misc
I am trying my best to conquer my addictions one day at a time.
I went natural!!!
I am making exercise apart of my daily routine.
Finally found someone to talk to (a professional of course).

Hobbies
I completed a new “Vision Board”.
I started a “QLC” scrapbook.
Have a summer reading plan (25 books) which can be found on my book blog!
Creating a Look book

Things I am thinking of doing:
Learning to sew
Learning Spanish

Things I cannot let go of:
I took the LSAT (AGAIN) and I am going to apply to law school.

My goal is to have at least ONE post a week. This is a commitment to me because I really need to work on my writing skills and I really want something to come from this blog (and my other one, and the one I am going to start Jan 2010. LOL). I have been jotting down tons of ideas; it is the matter of finding time (more like making time) and working on them.

Been on a Blogging Break (more like procrastination)

To whatever few readers I have left:

I took what one would call a “blogging break”. I have diagnosed myself with an extreme case of procrastination.

I really need to work on putting first things first. I am going to use the next week to concentrate on getting some things together and getting organize.

However I am back and ready to blog my brains out!!! (so lame!)

I have sooooo much to write about that its crazy!

Complainer

Day 36 of 40

You know how there are some people in the world that you hate to see coming because they ALWAYS complaining about something? I hate to say it, but I think that person is me. Okay…….I know that person is me. LOL! I complain entirely too much, and it is sad when you yourself is the one who realize it.

It always starts off innocently, I could be talking about something and I will find the negative in it. Complaining is a part of most my daily exchanges. I even use complaints as icebreakers.

However even though I have a lot of stuff to work on in my life, compared to others (especially in this recession and holiday period) I am doing pretty good.

I am healthy and able bodied.
I have a warm and safe place to sleep at night.
I have family and a few friends I can depend on.
I have a reliable car that can take me from A to B.
I have a job that provides income to live off of and to take care of necessary expenses.
I have food to eat.

After realizing that I needed to stop surrounding myself around negative people and/or individuals who are not trying to better themselves, I had to take a look at myself. I thought, “What is it about me that makes me want to be around these people or why do they want to be around me?” “How can I bring more positive people in my life?”

Well it starts with me!

Sunday at church, the preacher made it quite clear. If it is one thing that God does not like, it is a complainer. He can tolerate/forgive you when He sees you TRYING, but if you are just giving up and complaining about the situation without doing anything about it, well that is just UNACCEPTABLE.

How can I complain about my living situation when some people do not know where they will lay their head tomorrow or if they will even have a home?

How can I complain about being lonely because I am not in a relationship when I have friends and family who I KNOW I can trust 100% and they will never let me down?

How can I complain about my job and boss when over a million people have lost their jobs and do not know where the next meal will come from?

I am starting to wonder how many things have I missed out on in life because of my complaining.

Instead of looking at the each negative point in your life, take the time to look at it in a positive light.

I NEED TO BE MORE GRATEFUL.

God created each and every one of us with free will. That means that we choose our thoughts and I (and you) do not have to accept every negative thought/image that comes to mind.

So starting today, I am making a conscious effort to not complain (and whine because I am good at that also). It will be an extremely hard task for me, but it is an important step to take in my quest for spiritual and mental growth!

FOUR MORE DAYS AND THE DETOX WILL BE COMPLETE!!!

I have so much to share.

Detox for the mind, body, and soul - PART ONE

Day 6 of 40

Since turning 26, I've found myself becoming much more reflective and serious about my life. Not that I wasn’t before, but now in a much lucid perspective. Nor am I taking myself too seriously, but I’m starting to notice how much more aware I am of myself, my thoughts, relationships with others, career, path and purpose. I feel that I am sort of grieving and putting away my young self. Nevertheless I am extremely excited and deathly afraid of what is in store.

I am always searching out for women older than me to get their perspective on life and ask did they go through the same things at this age and stage. When I hear all these amazing stories of women truly finding themselves in their 40’s and 50’s, I am like, “Dang! Am I going to be crazy for another 15 years?!”

So here I am trying to gain some knowledge to get me through these twenties, and all they can say is, “Girl your 20’s are going to be some of the best and worst times of your life.” The majority of them felt that their 20’s were so hard for them and life gets so much better in your 30’s and up.

Last week as I was getting dress for work, I looked in the mirror and thought, I’m grown!

I finally believe that I am coming into my own. Meaning I know what makes me happy and I want to try and find ways to achieve those things NOW so that I can become a truly happy and content woman.

My passion for history, writing (regardless if I think I am good or not) and entrepreneurship has been weighing heavy on me that I feel like I am suffocating from it. How can I turn my passions into some kind of reality? I have ton of ideas, but currently I am living in a reality where I am extremely in debt, living with a relative and wanting my own place, working a job that does not appreciate my skills and experience with crappy pay, wanting a man-but knowing I do not NEED a man in my life right now, and most importantly trying to achieve a goal that I know deep down inside is not a dream I dream for myself anymore. AHHHHHH!!!!!

With all of this going on in my head, I came to the conclusion that I need to detoxify my mind, body, and soul.

On Monday, November 10, 2008, I started my 40 day detox. The reason I picked the number 40 was because in the bible it means completion/perfect. Instead of starting January first, I decided to start as soon as possible. In my opinion the number 40 represents a proficiency of time that is long enough or large enough to remove doubt; long enough and large enough to prove God's point.

I just want a greater sense of well being, break some bad habits, let go of past failures and regrets. I know that I will not find all my answers in this period, but I would love to start a new year off at a different place.

I keep/kept fighting myself about taking this route. Nevertheless I knew that I had to do something because I am not happy with anything these days. I have this constant state of anxiousness and fear. I am unsatisfied with my looks (these damn 15 pounds UGHHH), I always feel bloated (because of the horrible foods that I consume), I cannot sleep or I am sleeping my days away, and I am always tired and restless to the point of not wanting to do anything, much less read, work on my business, and/or blog. I cannot keep focus or concentrate on anything except the damn television. Basically I just feel “blah” 24/7.

Someone told me that if I want optimum performance, I will need to put optimum nourishment in my mind, body and soul.

The following things are being eliminated while on the detox:

Limited or no TV

No cold drinks (soda to you city folks) - basically Coca-cola because I drink it like water.

Fried foods

McDonalds (10 piece nugget meal)

Dairy products and sugar

Processed food

Meat (Lord help us all! LOL)

Sex/masturbation

The following things are being included in my life permanently:

Walking at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes

Doing YOGA

Water!!!! - This will be hard because I HATE water.

Meditation

I started off slow. The first week was basically getting a new routine for sleeping. Trying to obtain 8 hours of sleep. Instead of my usually 4-6 weekdays/10-12 weekends. Last week I also started drinking a bottle of smart water a day. Slowly trying to move away from Cokes.

This week is my FIVE day major food detox. Meaning nothing but water, fruits and veggies, maybe some grill fish, limited TV (2-3 days), meditation, yoga, and walking all five days. Today is day one and I miss coke and television sooo much!!!! However it is for the better good.

I will keep you all posted.

I have to admit something, I am a SLOW BLOGGER!

I am going to get straight to the point.

There are some bloggers out there who make me very intimidated. These bloggers write with such heartiness and enthusiasm that sometimes I do not feel worthy of posting. However I realized that I put this pressure on myself really. The purpose of this blog was/is to express my feelings about my transition into this thing called womanhood and everything that comes along with it. Meaning I write about my issues with my career, men, money, spirituality, weight, etc. Everything a 20 something think is important. MY LIFE EXPERIENCES. However while writing this year, I realize that I have been feeling the stress and pressure to publish at LEAST 9-10 posts a month (which for some is the amount of posts they do a day) and if I do not, I feel like I have failed in some way.

With that being said, I feel like there are gifted individuals that have the competence, vigor, and wit to write insightful posts daily. I wish I had the ability to write like them. They have this extra-ordinary (at least in my opinion) way of explaining things that I can only wish I was able to do. They make me want to be a better writer. Hell, they make me want to be a writer period.

So I can only go at a pace I can handle. My pace gives me perspective to think over an idea and develop it. Some ideas I have about a post I have been thinking about for months and sometimes they come out as I write them, like this one. I feel like I need to take my time to write and to think about what exactly I want to say. Because truthfully I am not very good at articulating my views/emotions/opinions in the best intelligent way I want to.

I love blogs that take their time to live before talking about it in their blogs. Because lets be serious, you need to live your own feelings and experiences before trying to write about them in a blog. For it gives them the experience to develop an idea and/or opinion before bringing it to their blogs. Sometimes I get so caught up in their blogs that I do not take the time out to develop posts for my own. However please believe that I have been going through and living in some crazy times that I should have posts for months!! LOL!!

So the next time you come across my page and I have not written a post in awhile, do not think that I have forgot about yall. I am just out living! Trust me you will read about it later! LOL!

Mental Organization

So I need to clean out my mind. What does that mean? Well it basically mean that I have to much stuff going on in my head and it is driving me crazy!!!! Just chaos.

1. I have asked and received YES answers from 3 individuals with regards to writing me a letter of recommendation for law school. Now I just need to find three more. I am seriously considering asking the CEO of my company. I talk to a couple of VPs at work and they think he will do it without hesitation.
2. Get organize in my room. Meaning I need to organize bills, writings, ideas, articles, debt elimination documents, etc. I truly believe once you are organize that it clears your head and leaves you at peace.
3. Contact the county’s “Van-to-work” program so that instead of using my car (which means filling up twice a week and adding over 100 miles per week on my car) I can ride the van to work.
4. Find an English class to take so that my grammar, vocabulary, and writing skills can be better for law school (speaking and living it into existence), business, blogging, and my future life as an “author”.
5. Study for the LSAT.
6. EXERCISE!
7. Get back to reading and posting on this blog.
8. Designate a day to focus on writing and bible study.
9. Get back into my hobbies.
10. Focus on my mental, physical, and spiritual detox.
11. Start the sewing class on Saturdays which means that I need to find out if I need a sewing machine. LOL
12. Continue to work on my EMPIRE (well my small start up business)!!
13. Get career goals and future businesses organized and on paper.

If I knew then, what I know now!

I would have work toward becoming a college professor and author. Yep, thats right!

More specific, a HISTORY PROFESSOR! Man I wish someone would have sat me down and actually guided me instead of me doing it myself.

Another Saturday wasted.....

So its Saturday and like every week while at work, I plan tons of things to do on my "free Saturdays".

Free Saturdays are Saturdays where no one is in town, no special events are going on, and no major errands to run. Just a empty/free Saturday.

Anyhoo, as I was stating before, I plan tons of things to do on these days (read, clean up, blog, catch up on fav blogs, check out new blogs, study, read, work on business, and catch up on shows I have on Tivo). However today I did hardly any. I just laid in bed (as I am doing now), played on Youtube (damn this great website), watched HGTV, and threw a pity party for myself.

Who was invited to my pity party?

1. Wanting my own place.
2. Being jealous that an ex is getting married today. Now I do not want him, but I am jealous none the less. It just reminded me that I am a single lady with no candidates at all.
3. Feeling fat (even though I know I am NOWHERE near fat, but just bigger than I have ever been) and not doing anything about it.
4. Being mad at myself because I feel that I am never satisfied.
5. Lastly, having tons of things/ideas/feelings going on in my head that are driving me crazy!

Its 6pm and I have nothing to show for this day. NOTHING!! I am getting tired of wasting away my "free Saturdays", but do not know how to motivate myself.

Not a quitter!!!

So I am going to try ONE MORE TIME (with regard to the LSAT). I know what I did wrong last time, I am going to improve on my weaknesses, and not talk about it! Just going to show action!! I feel good about it. Wish me luck and send up a prayer or two, three, four..... LOL!

Hey! Three times a charm OR three strikes and your out! LOL

Faith without works is dead, and thats basically what I did and have been doing for quite some time.

LSAT Results

Think about the worst score you can make, well I did worse than that!! You may ask how do I feel about it.

Well......

Can you be at peace about it and still cry? Because that is what happened to me. However just when I was about to sit here and write a "woe is me" post (AGAIN -- seems that is all I do lately), I came across this you tube clip. It put everything in prospective and at the end of the day I know everything is going to be okay.

John Legend sung it calmly and lets you focus on the message and not necessarily how well he can sang! Inspirational vitamin of the day.

The SEVEN Habits of HAPPY PEOPLE

So I was looking through my July 2008 Essence magazine (Pg. 107), and as I was flipping through and reading articles (which seems to be the same thing every other month), I came across something great. Since I have been going through my “woe is me” period, I think that this is a perfect way to start incorporating things in my life that will bring happiness. While writing this blog entry (during commercials of the BET Awards – major disappointment by the way) I realize that I am actually doing these things. So why aren’t I happier? Well I have come to the conclusion that I talk a good game, but never practice what I preach. So here goes…..Last result before going to a head doc.

Actually my #1 will be giving all my problems to God and the entry I wrote about on 6/19/08.

1. Hang out with joyful people.
The article suggests finding five POSITIVE interactions for every ONE NEGATIVE interaction. What? How am I going to do that? LOL. Nah it basically means surround yourself with positive individuals. Those who lift you up not let you down.

2. Move consistently toward your goals.
STAY ON THE PATH!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Meditate on your blessings.
Instead of the “woe is me”, I need to be thankful that I woke this morning because somebody did not!!!

4. Be good to yourself.
Basically eat right (currently going through a 9 day detox – its day 2 and I am needing a piece of meat!!!), exercise (finally started my program so that I can run the 5k for Labor day AND every other Friday I have a YOGA session!!! – I am going to be TOO sexy by my 26th birthday which is September 9th), and mentally (doing this shoot).

5. Connect, connect, and connect.
I think that this is basically number one. It’s just saying surround yourself with people and establish relationships with family and friends.

6. Go to church.
The article states that individuals that go to church (any faith) are happier than people who do not go or go once or twice a month. Now I am not the one to talk about this (I have an opinion on organized religion vs. spirituality – later post), but I say that for the last 2 months I did not attend church and when I stepped into the church last Sunday, I just had this calmness come over me. Now the word was good (mainly directed at the men), but it was just being in the house of the Lord that just made me feel good. Again for a later time.

7. Give—and forgive.
Now this one is a HARD one, I am constantly working on this one. I have a hard time forgiving people who have wrong me. However I was told that if you can not forgive someone, why do you expect God to forgive you of your wrong doing. With that being said, this is a constant battle. Even today at work, I had a bad day and for a minute I considered revenge and I thought about not talking (unless work related) to the individual. However where would that get me? I would be the one miserable, and along with giving power me, she would not even know that I am over at my cube all mad and booted up!!! LOL WOW. The power of the mind.

10 things I want to learn how to do:

1. Learn how to write poetry. (is this something you can learn?)
2. Sew. I think I have an unique style. Its a materialistic (brand whore as my aunt calls it) on a budget, tailored, preppy, hoodtastic, afrocentric look.
3. Spanish. Reason: I live in Atlanta, there is no other reason.
4. Japanese. Because I heard its a hard language to learn and I like challenges. Also I want to visit Tokyo for my 30th birthday.
5. Speaking in public without nearly fainting.
6. DANCING!!!! Oh my gosh!! I have no rhythm what so ever. Its bad.
7. Play a piano.
8. Play a guitar.
9. Be more patient.
10. Be a better daughter, sister, cousin, niece, friend, soror.

These were just off the top of my head. Just sitting up here drinking and thinking about stuff.

My Vision

So above is my vision board. This basically means these are the things/goals/dreams that I wish to obtain and/or accomplish. Its from the smallest silliest pleasure (perfume --so not in my budget!!) to of course my ultimate career goal of graduating from law school and becoming a business owner. Being that I have been really down in the dumps (hence why I have not been posting on a daily basis) I needed something to continue to drive me. I truly believe in talking things into existence. So I think about it, visualize it, talk about it, and work towards it. Now all I need to accomplish is PATIENCE. Even though I know that things worth having does not come over night. I still feel like I am not moving forward. Nevertheless I advise EVERYONE to make a vision board (I actually think I am about to make another one) and post it somewhere you can see it everyday (mine is on the back of my bedroom door). See it everyday is a constant reminder of what I need/want to do!!