Cannot wait to go home!!!

The pic speaks for itself. I will be going home (Louisiana) for Mother's day to see mom (of course) and the rest of my fam. However I am really going home because I need to have some crawfish. Dang!!! This is literally my favorite food and I still have not gotten use to them not being here in the Atlanta area. My entire life every weekend (well from February until July) there was a crawfish boil somewhere for me to attend. So lets just say that these last few months have been hard on me. I have had friends and family call and rub it in about eating them. Nevertheless I will literally be eating them Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of that weekend. While some may say that I am over doing it, I am simply saying that I have to get my fix in so I will not be craving them once I come back up here.

Dating MYSELF

So it is Saturday and I am back at home from my date with myself. Yep I wrote that correctly, I am dating myself. If you saw the youtube clip before reading this, aside from the humor, it was informative (at least for me). I talk a good game to everybody about how I am happy and just concentrating on me, but sometimes it gets hard and today is one of those days. I had to turn lemons into lemonade. I got out of bed, turned the TV off since it is a "no TV day" (will post about later) and commence to cleaning my room and my bathroom (remember that I live with my aunt, so those are the only areas I use). Cleaning was an ALL DAY (well 3 hours) job, and after that I gave myself an "in-home" spa treatment. After the spa, I did my hair like I went to a stylist and applied makeup to my face. Then I put a fly but casual outfit (you know, to look like I really did not try to dress up, but it just looked like I did) and decided to go see a movie, have a drink afterward, and grab a bite to eat. Now this is nothing new, I am not afraid and actually enjoy doing things by myself. However I do not do them on the weekends during "date hours". Nevertheless it was enjoyable and I am planning on have a "date night" with myself once a week or once every other week. I also purposely limited my conversations with female friends today because I know they would have wanted to join me and:

1. It would have defeated the purpose of going on a date with myself.
2. It would have turned into a girls night out which would have included talking about men and how much more fun it would have been if men were with us.
3. They would have gotten on my nerves checking men out, or complaining and whining about couples being mushy or just because they see a couple.

Anyway, the movie "Babymama" was great! 2 thumbs up! Went to a bar and had 2 Lemon drop martinis, and then to Chili's and got a to-go order. Now I am at home fulled and a little buzzed (drunk 2 glasses of wine with my food). To some this may seem pitiful, but actually it made me feel better. I have to practice what I preach!! Yesterday I went to Borders and spent 2 hours there having a blast with all the books (again I am an undercover nerd! LOL) and today I took myself to the movies and out to eat. So I should be sufficient until next weekend.

Next week: Go to a Jazz club!!!

Another one bites the dust

Since I am talking about individuals I will never get..........

So I am not a big music video person these days. However I was talking to a "old friend" on the phone one day last week and he told me about this singer that I use to have a crush on in high school. He was from the group, "Playa". His name was Stephen "Static Major" Garrett and that he had a song out with Lil Wayne. So of course I "youtube" it and found it. After the video goes off, I see a rest in peace with his brithdate and the day of his DEATH!!! What the hell? He died? So I begin to do my research and this is what I found:

"There have been many different speculations about the death of my brother, Stephen Ellis "Static/Major" Garrett. I write this blog entry to set the record straight. I, also, ask that you direct all to this blog for the truth. I spoke to my sister-in-law, Static's wife, yesterday at the funeral, and she, again, permits me to do this. She, also, wants all to know "the truth in the booth." On the day of February 25th, Static was in Atlanta, and began to feel sick. His desire was to go home (Louisville, Kentucky) to be around family and seek medical attention. He had a virus. I, still, don't know what the name of this virus was, but it was not a life-threatening issue, I do know. This particular virus affects the muscles, throat (quivering of the voice), as well as, causes drooping of the eye. He had no history of illnesses or anything of that nature. Anyone that knows Static, knows that he didn't like hospitals. He suffered the death of his sister in the late 80's, when we first met, and had a conscious or phobia about hospitals. I'm sure he's not the only one. I, now, have that conscious. But, he knew he needed medical attention to become well. When he admitted himself to Baptist Hospital East in Louisville, Kentucky, the doctors presented him with medicine that would treat the virus. The treatment was taking the medicine through a shunt, in the neck, which treats more severe cases of this virus. Quicker than taking pills for days. Though, he didn't want the shunt, the doctors insisted that he treat it this way. The treatment was a form of dialysis to filter the blood of the virus. He called his mom and told her, "Mama, something doesn't feel right. It hurts." When the doctor's were made aware that the shunt was hurting him, they took it out......it was over! When taking the shunt out, they took it out in the wrong manner that resulted in damaging the artery. He bled to death! They killed my brother, his wife's husband, his kids' father, his mom's son, and the world's musical inspiration. His death was ruled "accidental". He didn't have to die! But, I will say this. In situations like these, I feel that it was time to go home. And, it's not our decision on whether or not to stay. There is one thing that's guaranteed in this life, and that is, we all have to die, in some point and time, and in some way or another. The moral of this story is do not put off for tomorrow what u could do today! Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised! Do whatever it is that you have to do and whatever it is that you want to do TODAY! I will be writing more on Static/Major, due to the fact that I, regardless, am highly upset and disappointed in Baptist Hospital East and their procedures on Monday, February 25, 2008."
- Smoke Digglera (former Playa bandmate, from his myspace page)

So in memory my old crush....here is "Cheers 2 U" BUT youtube will not let me get it. Sooo here is his last song with Lil Wayne.

Just my imagination

I am in love with Kanye West. It is true and I will elaborate on it later. Nevertheless it is sad to say (but not really) that I am happy that he is single again. I know I know, I am pitiful. Maybe, just maybe when I go to his concert on the 4th he will notice me. Now I will not be like all the other groupies jumping on him. NO! I will be the one being to myself and he will notice and think I am a challenge. Once we start a conversation he will realize that I am a highly intelligent and ambitious woman. He will then express how even though he just broke off his engagement, that he want to pursue something deep and profound with me!!!! Ahhhhh wouldn't that be great?!! LOL LOL Got to speak these things into existence!!!

This song explain my love for him and his music perfectly! Gotta Love Erykah, my fellow Gramblinite!!!!

Can I ask you something?

If your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend, who would you be more mad at?

I was asked this by a friend guy tonight. Well my answer was simple.

Would not matter because I will kill them both!!!! LOL

My madea always said, "Keep women out of your relationships. They do not need to know the good and/or bad".

If they know the good, then they want to experience it themselves, and if they know the bad then they will always judge the individual.

Thats it.

April's Book of the Month

10 Good Choices that Empowers Black Women's Lives
By Grace Cornish

I read this book (the first time) the summer before my sophomore year in college. I was in my first “young adult” relationship, and it was going okay (who would have known he would dump me on my birthday 3 months later!!!!). Nevertheless I joined Black Expressions and picked the book, “10 Good Choices that Empowers Black Women’s Lives” by Grace Cornish.

So I was looking through my old books (trying to establish my own library) and came across this one. I think everything happens for a reason and truly feel like I came across this book (again) at the perfect time. This is a follow up book to her first one entitled, “10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives”. Since I am trying to NOT focus and write about negative things so much, I would rather focus on empowering one’s self. Here is where “10 Good Choices” comes in.

First and importantly, it is helping empower me in the areas I am working on currently which is feeling beautiful, going for what I want, stop feeling that anyone (Kanye West – that’s another post) or anything seemed out of reach. This is not one of those quick fix books, but rather guide to achieving life success. Right now I am in transition to becoming a better child of God and understanding how I can do that in this world I live in. This book helps tremendously.

Here are the 10 steps:

1. Embracing the Skin You're In


2. Accepting "Better Love," Not "Bitter Love"


3. Making Money Work for You


4. Turning Stumbling Blocks into Stepping Stones


5. Avoiding "the Only Fly in the Buttermilk" Thinking


6. Trusting Your Own Intuition


7. Taking Calculated Chances, Not Idle Ones


8. Giving Stress a Perpetual Rest


9. Rewriting Your Life's Script


10. Using Your "Praying Energy" for "Staying Energy"

Can we talk about something else?

Do we have to (please excuse my french) f**king talk about men every time we get on the phone? I am sooooo tired of talking about them. We are all educated sisters with plenty going on in our lives, but it seems like every time I call a close friend or they call me, we end up talking about them (men). Why? Its not going to change anything. It is getting to the point to where I do not want to talk to them because THAT'S ALL WE EVER TALK ABOUT. I try to change the subject, but somehow we get right back on it. I am trying to just concentrate on me, and I feel if I keep myself busy that I will not think about men and the issues (or lack of having a man) concerning them. Do I have to be reminded everyday that I am single? You do not have to tell me that you are unhappy single, I KNOW!!! Yes, "friend" I know its hard finding a good man. No "friend" I do not know why we keep getting deadbeats portraying themselves as men. Nevertheless you have to be the good friend and sit there and listen and be supportive because probably I was the one bitching about it last week. LOL!! Lets talk about:

1. Politics
2. Fashion (there are these "high waisted jeans" from Levi and Guess that I want so bad!!)
3. TV
4. Our friendship
5. Careers
6. Memories
7. Spirituality
8. Fitness
9. Establishing a time to meet up or get together
10. Anything else other than MEN!!!!!

So I am going to try something new this week, whenever I talk to a girlfriend, I will not mention men at all. If they mention men, I will give them five minutes of convo on this subject and change it. If they try to come back to it, I am going to inform them that I am tired of talking about men (because we are basically talking a particular incident that we have over analyzed for the past couple of days, weeks, months, and sometime years) and if we cannot talk about something else I am getting off the phone. Time to start showing these girls/women (and myself) TOUGH LOVE!!!

I'M I BEING TO HARD/MEAN?

My Vision

So above is my vision board. This basically means these are the things/goals/dreams that I wish to obtain and/or accomplish. Its from the smallest silliest pleasure (perfume --so not in my budget!!) to of course my ultimate career goal of graduating from law school and becoming a business owner. Being that I have been really down in the dumps (hence why I have not been posting on a daily basis) I needed something to continue to drive me. I truly believe in talking things into existence. So I think about it, visualize it, talk about it, and work towards it. Now all I need to accomplish is PATIENCE. Even though I know that things worth having does not come over night. I still feel like I am not moving forward. Nevertheless I advise EVERYONE to make a vision board (I actually think I am about to make another one) and post it somewhere you can see it everyday (mine is on the back of my bedroom door). See it everyday is a constant reminder of what I need/want to do!!

Have you kept up with your commitments (resolutions) so far?

I know that many of us own vehicles, so you know that after a certain mileage (my warranty information says every 5000 miles) we have to change our oil. If you are wondering what oil has to do with commitments and resolutions, well…….

Since April will be here in any minute, it is time for me to check and see how I am doing with regards to the commitments I posted earlier this year. I need to (and you to if you made commitments/resolutions) go through and see where I am at with them and to let go of negative ideals, decisions, and people I have obtain this first quarter of the year.

Lets start with determining if I have added negative ideals, decisions, and people into my life. NO!! (Confession – maybe a bad choice or two when it came to men!)

Now that I have that out the way, lets get to the commitments.

Stop living to please other people. This one I am being tested on currently. I am trying to not care what they (meaning family mostly) think and continue to live a life that makes me happy, but……. Basically I still need to work on this one. I purposely did not tell anyone except an extremely few that I was taking on the task of applying to law school. I have enough things to worry about so I do not need anyone telling me I cannot do it or telling me I told you so if I do not get accepted. A major example is me not telling my fam and friends about my blog. Well they know about it, but I will not give them the site. I know that if they were to read it, I would censor my posts and that’s not fair to me or my readers.

Bringing positive people in my life and eliminating the negative ones. I feel like I have accomplished this task successfully. It’s to the point where I am now (thanks to Nerd Girl) trying to be more positive myself. When someone asks me how I am doing, instead of focusing on the negative, find something positive to say. However if I have nothing positive to say, just say I AM DOING GREAT!

Always have something new and big on your agenda. Lets see………..I can safely say that this is going well also. Career path – CHECK! Hobbies – CHECK! Training for my marathon – NOT YET

Never live in the past. Also a work in progress. I have learned to forgive individuals who have wronged me, but I still cannot forget nor stop feeling the pain they have caused me. This makes me feel even worse because I need to learn how do you forgive and let go. This is something that I pray about daily. However I do know that I have made progress. TRUST.

I am getting better at living life and learning to appreciate this stage (chapter) of my life!

The LSAT is less than 90 days away!!!!!!

JUNE 16, 2008. I have less than 90 days left before I take an exam that will make or break my chances into getting into law school. I am planning to study 3 days a week and every other weekend until it is time for the exam. Next Saturday I am schedule to take a practice exam and after the exam they will provide me with the score, my weak areas, and suggestions to obtain a higher score. There are several preparation courses out there, but I do not have $500 - $1000 to give to them. Even though my job is willing to reimburse me, I do not have the money upfront (sad but true). I am just blessed that I have a job that is willing to pay for me to take a test to see IF I can get into law school, much less extremely bless because they are willing to pay for me to take a preparation course for the test. I feel like they can see the potential in me and willing to invest the time and money for me to obtain a higher degree.

I personally see it as a win - win situation. They invest the money and resources in me so that once I receive my law degree, I can become a staff attorney and give them a number of years of employment. I see me benefiting from this because:

1. I am securing myself job security at a job I presently love going to (even though some new management get on my nerves).


2. I will be working under (and I hope she writes one of my recommendation letters) one of the only ladies in the franchise law arena.


3. I will be gaining tons of experience in the corporate world and in three to four different areas of law. (franchise, contracts, trademarks, real estate)

So I think that everyone will win in this matter!!!! Please wish me luck!!! I will keep you updated.

Again here I go being M-I-A

Hello everyone,

WARNING: This post will most likely be everywhere because basically my mind is!

I know I been M-I-A for a couple of weeks, but I just been trying to get everything in my life on a well thought-out path. I feel I am trying to do too much at one time, and now I am working on getting everything in an organized motion so that I will not get overwhelmed. So I am working a full time job, trying to obtain a part-time job, study for the LSAT, self bible study, exercise, and write my blog. I know some may think that this is nothing or I am just whining, but there is only 24 hours in a day. We sleep 8 (at least that what I am suppose to sleep) hours away, work 9 (maybe more depending on my mood), and then we have my 2-3 hour a day work commute. That leaves me with 3-4 hours during the weekday to do everything else. With all this activity I should not have the time to even consider thinking about a man, or my lack of having a man. Nevertheless I do, a lot, no all the time, no ALL DAY EVERYDAY!! I have too much going on and here I go wanting a man. I need to be focusing on the process of finding myself and making sure I know myself, but how can I do that if I cannot get wanting a man out of my mind. Maybe it is because all my close friends are going through the same thing and that’s all we talk about. So bear with me while I try to clear my mind and get the thought out of my head that I want a man. I am a work in progress!!

Here is a poem that expresses how I feel exactly:

I said that 2008 would be the year that I find myself; concentrate on not worrying about others and their impression/view of me, and achieving the goals that I set forth for myself. With April coming up and a quarter of the year behind us, I feel like I am doing well and I am on a good path. However I know that I am work in progress.

Right now this is the song that I have on repeat:

Rejection

I consider myself a God-fearing, motivated, ambitious, and goal driven individual. Nevertheless due to certain circumstances that have happened in my life (good and bad), I am now prone to procrastination. I plan everything I set out to do (yes I am truly anal like that) to the very "tee". Meaning day to day, month to month, year to year. I have been doing this since the summer before my freshman year of high school. I had a pretty good track record too. I complete everything I set forth in doing that I put on my "To-Do List for Life".

I went to the college I wanted to go, made the GPAs I set forth to obtaining, planned what semester to get a car, planned what semester to move off campus, to join my sorority, and planned to graduate early from college to rest and get prepared for my ultimate goal in life. The goals that I mention—ACCOMPLISHED.

Nevertheless the ultimate goal has yet to be "accomplished".

Completing law school.

Have you ever worked extremely hard to get somewhere and when you made it there you wondered why am I here?

Rejection.

I was afraid to move, to succeed at what I worked for, for as long as I could remember due to fear of failure and rejection.

Initially, when I thought about my history it didn't make sense to me. How can I be afraid of rejection when, on most accounts, I haven't experienced it? After digging a little deeper I realized that I've seldom experienced rejection, not because I'm so grand or anything like that, but because I'd never put myself out there long enough to be rejected.

Well I was rejected (flunking out of law school) in a sense, by my own doing. This has haunted me now for almost 4 years. The situation handicapped me. I became one of those individuals that I always talked about: a person who stays in the same element because they are scared of change.

If I'm honest, even now there are so many things that I've been "planning" to do that leave me feeling vulnerable to rejection. And it seems like the higher the stakes, the greater the feeling of vulnerability. But I know that it's necessary. Know that staying in the safe place can stifle growth. If you ever want to increase your faith, step out on nothing, meaning expect nothing to come from it. Move when God tells you to; even when you're uncertain of the outcome. Push past the fear. So I when I came to this milestone in my life: my 25th birthday, I am learning what is important in my life. One way is by eliminating the negativity and individuals who brings these negative forces in my life. I had to shed the "To do list for life" binder (yes it was worth needing a binder for-LOL), and just made a list of things that I wanted to work towards and accomplished. I know you are saying, "Isn't this the same thing?" HOWEVER this list does not have a time frame on it, and it does not run my life like the binder did. If it happens it happens and if it does not, it does not. There will not be any break downs if something does not happen according to my plan. Truthfully it is suppose to happen according to God's plan. I have truly learned this matter and my life is finally starting to come in place because of it.

The very rejection I feared dealing with flunking out of law school manifested in me for years. And guess what, I lived! Not only did I live, but God closed that door, and I truly feel because He is going to open up a greater one. Hallelujah. As crazy as it sounds to me, I thank God that He allowed me to experience rejection and failure. I hope you get rejected and/or fail too (smile). I'm serious, I hope hearing someone say 'No' motivates you to soar, and reach for better. Why settle for ground level, when God is calling you higher? Turn that rejection into fuel. If you are anything like me, it will only stir your persistence.

I am currently studying for the LSAT and will apply to law school for Fall 2009. I know that I flunking out was not because I could not do it, but it was because I was scare of what the future would bring. I kept wondering was I good or smart enough to be here with the rest of the individuals. I did not have enough confidence in me nor God for that matter, and that is just a recipe for disaster.

P.S. The "Ulimate Goal' will eventually go to the accomplished list....IF it is according to God's plan.

Thanks everyone for reading this and I hope it helps you in some way.

Book of the Month

Girl, get your MONEY Straight!!!

During my last year of college when I realize I ruin my credit, I started searching for material to help me become financially savvy. The first book I found was called “Girl, get your money straight” by Glinda Bridgforth. Glinda wrote in plain English and made it easy for me (a beginner at the time) to comprehend. Once I decided that it was time to change my financial life, I found that this book was necessary in helping me along in my journey. While reading the book (I have had the book since late 2003 – so I have read it several times), I realized that it is not about having money, but not allowing myself to be responsible for what I could do to solve my money problems. The steps Glinda suggest are very clear and can be easily applied for anyone who truly is tired of living in debt. Through the years, I have applied (successfully and unsuccessfully) the steps and even though I have yet to truly see the benefits (because of my own neglect), I know at the end of the day, following her advice in the book will lead me to financial independence.

The book outlines seven financial prescriptions that will guide you step by step to financial security.
1. Setting goals that speak to your heart.
2. Learning to balance a checkbook and knowing your net worth.
3. Developing a spending plan.
4. Track and Analyze your spending.
5. Pay off debt with discipline – deprivation.
6. Save consistently without being a Miser.
7. Get the support and expert advice you need.

I am not going to go through the book in detail for the reason that I really recommend that you purchase it because it is a great book to have for your library. Also she incorporates spiritual guidance to help you through fixing your finances. We all know that even after learning that we need to change fix our financial status; it is really a mental thing. She suggests that we not only set financial goals, but also emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical. We have to have a balance in order for us to truly be financially debt free.

100 views!!

I have had 100 views on my blog!!!! Now 30-50 of the views my have came from me viewing it, but it also means that 30-50 people (or maybe some of you have view it a couple of times!! LOL) have came and visited my blog! Thank you!!!

I started almost 2 months ago and have yet to regret it. I know my blog is different and does not have the following that some of my favorite blogs have, but I hope that the ones who do come across it, enjoy it and get something out of it. Again......

THANKS!!!!!!!

Getting into Healthy Financial Shape

Along with keeping my commitments, I am also using this year to officially get my finances in order. Now I have always considered myself a financial savvy individual, but even with the knowledge, I could not use it because I never had stable employment. With that being said, I think my college years were my best financial times. This is because I always had money. I worked part time for a major fast food company, a work-study program on campus, and last but surely not least (literally) there was Sallie Mae. Oh my gosh! I was never without money in my pockets and this was before I even discovered credit cards. However my down fall occurred when I did discover credit cards.

My freshman and sophomore year in college, I PURPOSELY chose not to obtain credit cards. I did not have a lot of knowledge about them except that I kept hearing that they were bad for college students. I lived on campus so I did not have living expenses and with my part time job, student loan check, and monthly check from my work-study job, I had quite a few dollars in my pocket. Nevertheless my parents felt that it was necessary for me to have at LEAST ONE credit card in case of emergencies and/or they could not send and/or give me money in a timely fashion. Even when I acquired the first credit card, I did not use it for the first 6 months.

Oh but when I did and I got a taste of it, everything has been down hill ever since. After the first credit card, I was offered a Wal-Mart card. I figured I was going to need it since I basically lived there anyway because that’s where I brought all my items such as personal needs, supplies, and food. Next was another major credit card. I figured I will use this one for really big items (crazy). Then was the Shell gas card, and of course I needed this one. This card was supposed to be for trips back home to visit my family (I went to college 4 hours away). Instead it was used for everything. Let’s not forget that I had to have the Old Navy and JCPenny card. The reasons for those two cards I cannot remember, but I am pretty sure (100%) that it was for clothes.

So in one year I obtained SIX CREDITS CARDS.

Everything was going fine until I took a summer off from school and thought I was to good to work at the local fast food place in my hometown (what was I thinking!!). All school year I was on it with the minimum payments and my little budget, but it was not until June, July, and August, that I got into a jam. However instead of calling the credit card companies and explaining to them the situation and setting up other payment options, I TOTALLY IGNORED THEM. Even when I went back to school, I felt like I was so far behind in payments (again here was another chance I could have called), that there was no way to catch up. So you know what I did? Let them go into collections and then get charged off. Yep.

So my dad asked me about my credit card (they thought I still had the first one only) and I inform him of everything, and then he stated something so profound (at least at that moment in time). “Why would you get SIX credit cards when the first one could do the same thing all the rest of them did?” Now I knew that, but I did not think of it that way. So I am in my last year of college and messed up my credit. Now I could have right then and there said, “I am going to move back on campus and use the money that I am using to pay rent and utilities, to pay off debt.” However I was too worried about how it would look with me moving back on campus. So I just stuck it out, and said I would get to it one day. On the other hand this experience did drive me to learn (and I mean really learn) about budgeting, debt, credit reports and scores, and basically everything dealing with the matter of having a healthy financial situation. I consumed every issue I could find of Black Enterprise (I am a subscriber currently – and clip the articles that I find useful), read and put in my favorites’, every website pertaining to debt and/or debt repair. Bought every Suze Orman (along with watching/TiVo her show every Saturday) and Glinda Bridgforth wrote. So now with my knowledge, I was ready to apply it. However almost five years (since graduating college) has gone by and I am greatly/sadly able to say I can finally apply it. I am settled in my new position and making the necessary steps I need to make to improve my credit. My goal is to be completely debt free (with the exception of Sallie Mae and my car loan) summer of 2009. The estimated total is $10,000.00. That amount includes credit cards, misc. debt, hospital bills, and etc. Can not go into my LATE twenties with bad credit!!!

Next………”Girl get your money straight” by Glinda Bridgforth

Oh my gosh!! There is a show about my blog!

Sorry about being M-I-A, but I have been getting some things in my life in order (you will hear all about them later). Nevertheless as I were laying in bed watching "Biggest Loser", NBC announce that a new show was coming on next. The show is called "Quarter life" and it is basically about a girl and her friends that are in their mid-twenties!!! The girl has a blog that she writes and uploads videos discussing her life and the lives of her friends. I mean she is telling all of their business.

Now I think that I am going to like the show, because in its simplest form, I agree and I am currently going the same issues and circumstances. The real question is since the writers strike is over, how long will the show stay on? Will the show even get an audience?

Disclaimer

I am kind of hesitate to write about this subject, but isn’t this what my blog is for? To discuss and let out my issues, ideals, and things that is important to me. The purpose for my blog was to post my transition into becoming a full blown mature woman. I am at a point in my life today I think, “Whew that hurdle is over, lets move on to the next task I need to complete in order to feel like I am sure of myself.” However a couple of days maybe weeks later, I am back to acting or feeling the same way. So it is like I take two steps forward and sometimes three to four steps back. Venturing into the unknown is very scary and exciting. I cannot wait to see what is in store for me, but I am so scared to leave my past. On my journey/transition into full responsible adulthood, I am becoming more spiritual (actually a lot more). My life is centering on my growing relationship with God. I am seeing that a lot of posts will also center on God, but I do not want to come across “preachy-like”. Outwardly in the real world, I am not like that, so I do not want it to come off like that. Even though I am not the same person I was before becoming serious spirituality, I am no where near where I should be. I still have a lot of work to do on myself. I still curse (a lot--to much), gossip, look, listen, and sometimes where inappropriate material. So I hope that when I come here to post and I am having a spiritual moment and needing to share because I know someone maybe going through the same things, I do not come across as a hypocrite. In the words of Steve Harvey, “God is not through with me yet!” THANKS!!

Being single for Valentine's Day

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. A perfect scenario is having someone special that will surprise you with chocolates, teddy bears, and/or flowers. Maybe even provide you with some jewelry. However the ones without someone (me) will be reminded that we do not have anyone to share this special day with. Before continuing:

WARNING: THIS POST WILL NOT BE A PITIFUL “I’M ALONE” POST.

So what I do not have a “boo” or “man” to receive flowers from. So what I will not be having a candlelit dinner with someone special. So what I will not receive a card telling me how special I am and how much love they have for me!!!! SO WHAT!! LOL!!

WARNING: MAYBE I AM A LITTLE BITTER.

NEVERTHELESS

In a weird (plus I know it is not right) way, I feel good knowing that I am not the only one in this predicament. I know several females, my age, younger and some quite older that are in the same boat as I. However I am (I cannot speak for them) not going to let a commercialized day have me make wrong decisions. This means that I will not let Valentine’s drive me to interacting with “Mr. Wrong”.

Some maybe wondering where I am going with this, so here goes. I know a lot of single females that intentionally set out to find ANY MAN to get with for just this particular day. Just so they can say that they were not alone on Valentine’s Day. Just so they will not feel empty and go through the whole mental anguish (because that’s all it is) of wondering what is wrong with them and why they do not have a man. So these women (and I at one time) basically settle.

EXAMPLE: Say you have been getting to know (kicking it) a gentleman (man, dude, some women – boy) for a couple weeks (met him or he decided to call after Christmas) and Valentine’s Day is coming up. You like wow finally I will have someone for V-Day. Nevertheless he is ---maybe not your type physical wise. He does not have a job and living off his mama OR maybe even another woman. However you are so desperate for a body that you settle for someone who you know is not the one or good enough for you.

DON’T SETTLE!!

Just because it is V-Day, it those not mean you should call up or answer the phone for “Mr. He-will-do”. You know he gets on your nerves, but just so you will not be lonely, just because you do not have patience to wait for God to bring the right one in your life, you settle.

Now the good Word says be careful or anxious for nothing, but with prayer let your requests be made known to God. Now after doing this, we must (at least we should be doing this) be at peace for what we prayed for (in regards to this post – a man), trust Him and wait on His timing. Not yours. Instead of chasing after a man, how about chasing after Him (trust I am trying that now). Trust I know that this is easier said then done because I have my weak days also. I know we get lonely and sometimes feel like God is taking to long (be quick and ask for forgiveness for even thinking like that!! LOL).

If you are asking God for that special someone first know that he is not coming over night. Second, maybe the reason God has not brought the “special one” into your life is because you yourself is not worthy of him. Is all your ducks in a row? Let’s say God brings the man of your dreams to you, will you be the woman of his dreams? We (at least me and my girlfriends) are always crying about finding a good man and a good man coming along, but we ourselves have so much baggage that we truthfully do not even need a man in our lives right now PERIOD. Some of us need to be doing right spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially before bringing a man in our life. How about we get our ducks in a row and make God the most important man (person) and I promise you He will bring you all that you desire and more!!!

I will just like for you to know (I have no doubt that you already know this) that God loves you and He knows the desires of your heart. However He simply desires for you (and me) to put all our energy that we use to find a “man” into a desire for Him. So since I am talking the talk, I am going to walk the walk and let God be my Valentine (I know I am corny).
So single women, if no one tells you happy Valentine’s Day here goes:

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!

I will be gone till November (Election)

At first I was posting on the campaign and giving updates. However the situation is crazy. None of the candidates are talking about hard core issues. I am tired of hearing the same thing over and over again on every news channel. If I had to go by what the media decides I need to hear, GOSH I would be a lost soul. I am so tired of not getting hard core statements of how they are going to make this country different and/or better. I do not need to be reminded everyday that Barack is black. He was black yesterday, he is black today, and he is going to be black tomorrow. I know how important it is in this election and I am extremely happy, but I do not want him to become president just because he is (half) black. Same thing goes with Hillary. Can someone say anything about the programs, tax cuts (if any) that they are planning to implement. ANYTHING!! I guess I am getting frustrated because I know that everyone is not like me and will not look for information about each candidate (democratic or republican) on their own. They are depending on the media, who is treating the candidates like high school cliques, for their information. Plus being a black woman, people give you the "So are you going to vote for the WOMAN or BLACK MAN?" NO! I am going to vote for the PERSON who can cater to the issues I feel need to be addressed. With that being said, I will not post anything political (unless something juicy happens and I want to give my two cents) until the Convention or even in November when I work and we find out who is President. Below is a youtube clip that I want them to address for me.

Just Voted

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I just came from voting and I feel great knowing that I am about to be apart of history!! Vote or Die!! If this youtube offends you.........Sorry........I think.