I am on twitter!!!!

www.twitter.com/bcyprain

ALSO..... I am still here. Some personal issues came up and I had to deal with them. Slowly I am getting back on track. THANKS!!!

Song for the week!!

Have a great weekend!!!

Been on a Blogging Break (more like procrastination)

To whatever few readers I have left:

I took what one would call a “blogging break”. I have diagnosed myself with an extreme case of procrastination.

I really need to work on putting first things first. I am going to use the next week to concentrate on getting some things together and getting organize.

However I am back and ready to blog my brains out!!! (so lame!)

I have sooooo much to write about that its crazy!

Cleaning House in 2009!

I have been really busy mentally lately and so when my mom sent this email to me, it described exactly what I was going through.

Last Week I threw out worrying, it was getting old and in the way.

It kept me from being me; I couldn't do things God's way.

I threw out a book on MY PAST (Didn't have time to read it anyway).

Replaced it with NEW GOALS, started reading it today.

I threw out hate and bad memories, (Remember how I treasured them so)?

Got me a NEW PHILOSOPHY too, threw out the one from long ago.

Brought in some new books too, called I CAN, I WILL, and I MUST.

Threw out I might, I think and I ought. WOW, you should have seen the dust.

I ran across an OLD FRIEND, I hadn't talked to in a while. His name is GOD the Father, and I really like His style.He helped me to do some cleaning and added some things Himself.

Like PRAYER, HOPE, FAITH and LOVE,Yes... I placed them right on the shelf.

I picked up this special thing and placed it at the front door.

I FOUND IT- it's called PEACE. Nothing gets me down anymore.Yes, I've got my house looking nice.Looks good around the place.

For things like Worry and Trouble there just isn't any space.

It's good to do a little house cleaning.

Get rid of the things on the shelf.It sure makes things brighter; maybe you should TRY IT YOURSELF.BE BLESSED AND BE A BLESSING TO SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

I am in the money!!!!!!

Superbowl Champs!!!!

Now I can go to bed!!!!!! LOL

My Blogoversary!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!

“My Quarter Life Crisis” is officially a YEAR old today!!!!!!!


I cannot believe that I have kept it up. Even though I have not been a regular poster (see “I am a slow blogger” post), it has really helped me continue my hobby of writing. My goal for 2009 with regards to posting is to post AT LEAST once a week.

I think that 2009 is going to be a great year for QLC!!

I want to thank the following blog(s) for keeping me inspired to blog:

http://theglamchron.blogspot.com/
http://www.auntjemimasrevenge.blogspot.com/
http://renaissanceblackwoman.blogspot.com/
http://www.thesowingcircle.blogspot.com/
http://www.whattamisaid.blogspot.com/

Anyway, I have moved into my apartment (YEAH!!! – more on that later) and I will not have Internet until this weekend. So basically I am on the Internet at work trying to sneak and post this!!! LOL!!!

I just wanted to acknowledge this big occasion.

QLC will be back to its regular schedule (come to think of it, I never had one – LOL) this weekend. Until then……..

SEE YA LATER!!!!!!

So I been thinking........

AND

Glad the 40 detox is over....... now I have to blog about it.

AND

I will be creating an additional blog about books I have read.

AND

Why am I creating another blog when I barely post on this one?

AND

Got to do better with posting on my blog in 2009.

AND

Not looking forward to the 6 1/2 - 7 hour drive to Louisiana.

AND

I am looking forward to some Gumbo though!

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Cannot contain my excitement about having my own apartment!! December 31, 2008 I will obtain the keys!!! YEAH!!!

AND

Excited to finally meet my new niece!

AND

I am finally starting to feel contentment.

AND

I think that 2009 will be a great year for me!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

What to expect for Xmas?

Once again it is Christmas time and I will be heading to good ole Louisiana Tuesday!!! However with every positive, there are some negatives. Now I love my relatives, but at times (especially for the holidays) they can be a little to much.

The "Drunk" family members

These individuals usually are the ones who start the fights/arguments. They are usually older male relatives.

The "Criticizing" family members

These relatives always making snide remarks or been judgmental. For example, "OH! You still haven't went back to law school?" Usually older female relatives.

The "Wild Child" family members

Another Christmas, another child and babydaddy/mama. Always bugging you to go to the club with them later. Assume that you are big ballin and want to talk in private so they can ask for some money.

The "I'm saved now" family members

Was a "wild child" and/or "drunk" family member last Christmas. Trying to preach to you about what you need to do with your life and criticizing you for not being where they are at in Christ. FUTURE OUTLOOK: Becoming a "Criticizing" family member.

The "Competitor" family members

Usually around the same age as you (so that mean they are a first and/or second cousin).

I get a new job, he/she got a promotion.

I get a new apartment, he/she bought a house.

I get a new boyfriend, he/she get engage!

The "Impostor" family members

Moved away and people assume he/she is doing great. Do not want family members to know that he/she is doing anything LESS THAN great. However everyone know that you are struggling. I THINK THIS IS ME. LOL!

NEVERTHELESS, I love them all the same and cannot wait to see them.

FREEDOM

Day 37 of 40

The detox is going better than I thought it would. Truthfully, I thought that I would have quit by now. That’s sad huh? Nevertheless I am pushing along. Some stuff I back sled on whereas on other things I have remained strong.

If I am going to be honest with you guys (and to myself), as I am looking at my list, I do not see where I have done a lot. I did complete my 5 day food detox!!!! No cokes or drinks period. I just had water, fruits, and vegetables. With regards to the 5 day food detox, I learned that I am going to have to gradually take myself off of cokes. LOL!! No cold turkey for me. So I drink one SMALL cup a day (and that’s hard for me to), but I am drinking more water than I use to. Especially since I heard that it can come back to haunt ya when you get old! I have not cut down several days of television, but I do not watch television on Mondays.

Nevertheless I have had an epiphany; I AM GETTING MY OWN PLACE.

Even though I have no money saved, hardly getting by now, for my piece of mind, I know that it is necessary. There are several individuals (including family members) that are telling me that I am making a stupid/dumb decision. Those doubting me and bringing negativity to my life will only make me try even harder. Going through this detox and the event that occurred recently, has made me realize that I was/am in a “comfort zone”. I need to step out on a limb and do this for myself and not because I am feeling pressured to do it, not because I feel like a failure, not because I should be doing what everyone else my age is, but because it’s the right decision for ME.

I am learning that I cannot always go by someone advice. I can take it under consideration, but at the end of the day I have to do what makes me happy. That has always been my problem, trying to make the adults in my life happy and satisfied, but not realizing that I am an adult myself. If I fail, well I tried. I will be the one who will have to deal with it. Nobody else has to. So if that mean sleeping on an air mattress (which if I buy a good one, they can be extremely comfortable) and eat cereal and ham sandwiches everyday, SO BE IT. If that is what it takes to have piece of mind, then that is what I will do. Now even though we are in a recession, I will try my damn est to get a part time job.

For some reason I have this calmness about the situation, I have went over my bills and it is really possible. I looked and found a great apartment, in a great location, and at a great price. I have to just fix something on my credit report tomorrow and it will be mine. I will be able to move in December 31st!!!

This means that I will be starting the New Year off right! Please pray and wish me luck on this new adventure that I am about to embark on!

Complainer

Day 36 of 40

You know how there are some people in the world that you hate to see coming because they ALWAYS complaining about something? I hate to say it, but I think that person is me. Okay…….I know that person is me. LOL! I complain entirely too much, and it is sad when you yourself is the one who realize it.

It always starts off innocently, I could be talking about something and I will find the negative in it. Complaining is a part of most my daily exchanges. I even use complaints as icebreakers.

However even though I have a lot of stuff to work on in my life, compared to others (especially in this recession and holiday period) I am doing pretty good.

I am healthy and able bodied.
I have a warm and safe place to sleep at night.
I have family and a few friends I can depend on.
I have a reliable car that can take me from A to B.
I have a job that provides income to live off of and to take care of necessary expenses.
I have food to eat.

After realizing that I needed to stop surrounding myself around negative people and/or individuals who are not trying to better themselves, I had to take a look at myself. I thought, “What is it about me that makes me want to be around these people or why do they want to be around me?” “How can I bring more positive people in my life?”

Well it starts with me!

Sunday at church, the preacher made it quite clear. If it is one thing that God does not like, it is a complainer. He can tolerate/forgive you when He sees you TRYING, but if you are just giving up and complaining about the situation without doing anything about it, well that is just UNACCEPTABLE.

How can I complain about my living situation when some people do not know where they will lay their head tomorrow or if they will even have a home?

How can I complain about being lonely because I am not in a relationship when I have friends and family who I KNOW I can trust 100% and they will never let me down?

How can I complain about my job and boss when over a million people have lost their jobs and do not know where the next meal will come from?

I am starting to wonder how many things have I missed out on in life because of my complaining.

Instead of looking at the each negative point in your life, take the time to look at it in a positive light.

I NEED TO BE MORE GRATEFUL.

God created each and every one of us with free will. That means that we choose our thoughts and I (and you) do not have to accept every negative thought/image that comes to mind.

So starting today, I am making a conscious effort to not complain (and whine because I am good at that also). It will be an extremely hard task for me, but it is an important step to take in my quest for spiritual and mental growth!

FOUR MORE DAYS AND THE DETOX WILL BE COMPLETE!!!

I have so much to share.

Kanye West's 808s & Heartbreak

Okay you guys. I have been a little quiet when it came to my man Kanye because I thought that he had a breakdown. I was not feeling the song "Love Lockdown". Kanye singing? Nah....... However since he is my man (of course only in my mind) I have to stick by him through THICK AND THIN. I am glad that I did because I am loving the CD. Now it is kind of depressing and if you are in a funky mood, it will not cheer you up. Nevertheless I am feeling it. If anything, the album proves once and for all what an incredible artist my man is!!

My favorite song is HEARTLESS!!!




My man is so creative!!!

I am also loving "Say You Will"





This one is called "Welcome to the Heartbreak"






Okay that is all I can give ya. Since I actually "bought" this album, I am going to need for you go out and support my man. LOL!!

Today was a good day!!!

Grambling won 29-14!!!!!

I can have a great Christmas and bragging rights for a year. YEAH!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!

Detox for the mind, body, and soul - PART ONE

Day 6 of 40

Since turning 26, I've found myself becoming much more reflective and serious about my life. Not that I wasn’t before, but now in a much lucid perspective. Nor am I taking myself too seriously, but I’m starting to notice how much more aware I am of myself, my thoughts, relationships with others, career, path and purpose. I feel that I am sort of grieving and putting away my young self. Nevertheless I am extremely excited and deathly afraid of what is in store.

I am always searching out for women older than me to get their perspective on life and ask did they go through the same things at this age and stage. When I hear all these amazing stories of women truly finding themselves in their 40’s and 50’s, I am like, “Dang! Am I going to be crazy for another 15 years?!”

So here I am trying to gain some knowledge to get me through these twenties, and all they can say is, “Girl your 20’s are going to be some of the best and worst times of your life.” The majority of them felt that their 20’s were so hard for them and life gets so much better in your 30’s and up.

Last week as I was getting dress for work, I looked in the mirror and thought, I’m grown!

I finally believe that I am coming into my own. Meaning I know what makes me happy and I want to try and find ways to achieve those things NOW so that I can become a truly happy and content woman.

My passion for history, writing (regardless if I think I am good or not) and entrepreneurship has been weighing heavy on me that I feel like I am suffocating from it. How can I turn my passions into some kind of reality? I have ton of ideas, but currently I am living in a reality where I am extremely in debt, living with a relative and wanting my own place, working a job that does not appreciate my skills and experience with crappy pay, wanting a man-but knowing I do not NEED a man in my life right now, and most importantly trying to achieve a goal that I know deep down inside is not a dream I dream for myself anymore. AHHHHHH!!!!!

With all of this going on in my head, I came to the conclusion that I need to detoxify my mind, body, and soul.

On Monday, November 10, 2008, I started my 40 day detox. The reason I picked the number 40 was because in the bible it means completion/perfect. Instead of starting January first, I decided to start as soon as possible. In my opinion the number 40 represents a proficiency of time that is long enough or large enough to remove doubt; long enough and large enough to prove God's point.

I just want a greater sense of well being, break some bad habits, let go of past failures and regrets. I know that I will not find all my answers in this period, but I would love to start a new year off at a different place.

I keep/kept fighting myself about taking this route. Nevertheless I knew that I had to do something because I am not happy with anything these days. I have this constant state of anxiousness and fear. I am unsatisfied with my looks (these damn 15 pounds UGHHH), I always feel bloated (because of the horrible foods that I consume), I cannot sleep or I am sleeping my days away, and I am always tired and restless to the point of not wanting to do anything, much less read, work on my business, and/or blog. I cannot keep focus or concentrate on anything except the damn television. Basically I just feel “blah” 24/7.

Someone told me that if I want optimum performance, I will need to put optimum nourishment in my mind, body and soul.

The following things are being eliminated while on the detox:

Limited or no TV

No cold drinks (soda to you city folks) - basically Coca-cola because I drink it like water.

Fried foods

McDonalds (10 piece nugget meal)

Dairy products and sugar

Processed food

Meat (Lord help us all! LOL)

Sex/masturbation

The following things are being included in my life permanently:

Walking at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes

Doing YOGA

Water!!!! - This will be hard because I HATE water.

Meditation

I started off slow. The first week was basically getting a new routine for sleeping. Trying to obtain 8 hours of sleep. Instead of my usually 4-6 weekdays/10-12 weekends. Last week I also started drinking a bottle of smart water a day. Slowly trying to move away from Cokes.

This week is my FIVE day major food detox. Meaning nothing but water, fruits and veggies, maybe some grill fish, limited TV (2-3 days), meditation, yoga, and walking all five days. Today is day one and I miss coke and television sooo much!!!! However it is for the better good.

I will keep you all posted.

So I been thinking........

AND

I finally know what I want to do with myself and what needs to be done.

AND

I need to stop procrastinating and go to the counselor.

AND

I really wish I could move Atlanta to Louisiana. I would have the best of both worlds.

AND

I am really seeing the true/real side of “mainstream” America. (White people)

AND

I wish I had my own place!

AND

I think that every time I voice my view/opinion at work this past week, mainstream America think I do not know how to act since Obama won. LOL! Like I did not have an opinion week before last!!

AND

I am not challenged at work and it is making it very difficult to have motivation.

AND

I want to start a non-profit organization.

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I am in love with the website www.43things.com. It’s for anal individuals like myself who have to have “to-do” list. Check it out.

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I am researching schools in order to obtain my Masters/PHD in History. How does Professor QLC sound? LOL!!

The Picture says it all!!!!!

So I been thinking........

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If Obama win, I am not going to work on that Wednesday! LOL!

AND

Will we even know who the winner is Tuesday night?

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I am scared about seeing a counselor because for some strange reason I feel its conflicting with me spirituality.

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I hope that this recession/depression/bad ass financial situation our country is in helps me out in some way. Maybe....... A foreclosed condo? Is that bad for me to think that way?

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Instead of faithing watching "The Biggest Loser", I SHOULD be the biggest loser! Well 10 pounds lighter.

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Its time to find another place (and an additional place) to obtain a paycheck.

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DAMN I need good credit right about now!!

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During these hard economic times, is it okay to get a suga daddy? LOL!!

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I really need to eliminate television out of my life.

AND

I am so excited about being a new aunt!!!!

Oh my gosh!!

Sorry about being M.I.A lately, but I cannot muster up any energy to do anything. Also so much has been going on with me that I just need to find time to get myself together. I wish there was a "refresh" button for life! I am at a fork in the road and I do not know which way to go. Everyday it is something different. However I am taking steps to get me some help (a counselor) and with the help and daily prayer, a solution should come about.

FALL is my favorite season!!

Its fall!

I love the fall season.

Fall always bring back good memories. The weather is calmer with the wind blowing and the surroundings bringing good vibes. The last two weeks was a very sad and somber time for me, but yesterday as I was getting out of the car after coming home from work, something in me changed. The wind was blowing and the mood was so great that it turned my entire mood around! I had this calmness come over me. If I could have my way, it would be fall everyday.

Why do I love the fall season?

Well most importantly because it is FOOTBALL SEASON! I love football. Since I was a little girl I could not wait until the last Friday in August because I knew that was when the Jamboree (first high school football game of the season where every school in the parish plays each at the same stadium) would occur. Finding the hottest outfit and hitting the football stadium to check out all the guys from the different schools and determining who was going to be on my team this year. If they were giving out letterman jackets for being a spectator, then I would be varsity.

Black version of "Friday Night Lights/Varsity Blues"

Favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because of Bayou Classic!

This passion for football (and sadly boys) continued throughout high school and college. Now that I am no longer living in Louisiana where my hometown is like the movie, “Friday Night Lights”, its weird not having a football team to support on Fridays and Saturdays. I need some LIVE football in my life!

#26 Clinton Portis - Washington Redskins

Nevertheless I love the fall because the weather is perfect, not to cold and not to hot. Perfect weather for outfits!! LOL!!

Got to go for the hometeam!

Have to go for them because this is my Daddy's team!!

So I been thinking........

AND.....

Why can I only find gas between the hours of midnight and 6am?

AND.....

I am thanking God for the "EXPRESS" bus that takes me to the MARTA everyday for work so that I can preserve my gas for emergencies.

AND.....

I thought I was going to like Jazmine Sullivan CD a lot more. I like it, but..... she is no Lauryn Hill 1998-99. Maybe it will grow on me.

AND.....

I am thanking God that even though I am ONE check away from being homeless, car less, and food less, that at least I have a job to obtain a check.

AND.....

Why with my questionable credit (that I am working on to the best of my ability) are Credit Card companies trying to GIVE me credit cards? OH Lawd it is sooo hard shredding them up!!! Especially since I am so broke and need any extra income possible.

AND.....

For extra income I am thinking about taking the "tax course" for H&R Block. I think it is from October until May. That income can catch me up on my bills and towards debt.

AND.....

I am about to make a MAJOR career decision.

AND.....

Why is losing 10 (okay I really want to lose 15) pounds so hard? It maybe because mentally I am not into it.

AND.....

Why am I scared to find another job? With the economy the way it is and the job market at its all time low, I am scared to leave this bad situation and end up being laid off at another job. (Hence the career change)

AND.....

Why am I so bad at picking men?

I have to admit something, I am a SLOW BLOGGER!

I am going to get straight to the point.

There are some bloggers out there who make me very intimidated. These bloggers write with such heartiness and enthusiasm that sometimes I do not feel worthy of posting. However I realized that I put this pressure on myself really. The purpose of this blog was/is to express my feelings about my transition into this thing called womanhood and everything that comes along with it. Meaning I write about my issues with my career, men, money, spirituality, weight, etc. Everything a 20 something think is important. MY LIFE EXPERIENCES. However while writing this year, I realize that I have been feeling the stress and pressure to publish at LEAST 9-10 posts a month (which for some is the amount of posts they do a day) and if I do not, I feel like I have failed in some way.

With that being said, I feel like there are gifted individuals that have the competence, vigor, and wit to write insightful posts daily. I wish I had the ability to write like them. They have this extra-ordinary (at least in my opinion) way of explaining things that I can only wish I was able to do. They make me want to be a better writer. Hell, they make me want to be a writer period.

So I can only go at a pace I can handle. My pace gives me perspective to think over an idea and develop it. Some ideas I have about a post I have been thinking about for months and sometimes they come out as I write them, like this one. I feel like I need to take my time to write and to think about what exactly I want to say. Because truthfully I am not very good at articulating my views/emotions/opinions in the best intelligent way I want to.

I love blogs that take their time to live before talking about it in their blogs. Because lets be serious, you need to live your own feelings and experiences before trying to write about them in a blog. For it gives them the experience to develop an idea and/or opinion before bringing it to their blogs. Sometimes I get so caught up in their blogs that I do not take the time out to develop posts for my own. However please believe that I have been going through and living in some crazy times that I should have posts for months!! LOL!!

So the next time you come across my page and I have not written a post in awhile, do not think that I have forgot about yall. I am just out living! Trust me you will read about it later! LOL!