FREEDOM

Day 37 of 40

The detox is going better than I thought it would. Truthfully, I thought that I would have quit by now. That’s sad huh? Nevertheless I am pushing along. Some stuff I back sled on whereas on other things I have remained strong.

If I am going to be honest with you guys (and to myself), as I am looking at my list, I do not see where I have done a lot. I did complete my 5 day food detox!!!! No cokes or drinks period. I just had water, fruits, and vegetables. With regards to the 5 day food detox, I learned that I am going to have to gradually take myself off of cokes. LOL!! No cold turkey for me. So I drink one SMALL cup a day (and that’s hard for me to), but I am drinking more water than I use to. Especially since I heard that it can come back to haunt ya when you get old! I have not cut down several days of television, but I do not watch television on Mondays.

Nevertheless I have had an epiphany; I AM GETTING MY OWN PLACE.

Even though I have no money saved, hardly getting by now, for my piece of mind, I know that it is necessary. There are several individuals (including family members) that are telling me that I am making a stupid/dumb decision. Those doubting me and bringing negativity to my life will only make me try even harder. Going through this detox and the event that occurred recently, has made me realize that I was/am in a “comfort zone”. I need to step out on a limb and do this for myself and not because I am feeling pressured to do it, not because I feel like a failure, not because I should be doing what everyone else my age is, but because it’s the right decision for ME.

I am learning that I cannot always go by someone advice. I can take it under consideration, but at the end of the day I have to do what makes me happy. That has always been my problem, trying to make the adults in my life happy and satisfied, but not realizing that I am an adult myself. If I fail, well I tried. I will be the one who will have to deal with it. Nobody else has to. So if that mean sleeping on an air mattress (which if I buy a good one, they can be extremely comfortable) and eat cereal and ham sandwiches everyday, SO BE IT. If that is what it takes to have piece of mind, then that is what I will do. Now even though we are in a recession, I will try my damn est to get a part time job.

For some reason I have this calmness about the situation, I have went over my bills and it is really possible. I looked and found a great apartment, in a great location, and at a great price. I have to just fix something on my credit report tomorrow and it will be mine. I will be able to move in December 31st!!!

This means that I will be starting the New Year off right! Please pray and wish me luck on this new adventure that I am about to embark on!