So I been thinking........

AND

Glad the 40 detox is over....... now I have to blog about it.

AND

I will be creating an additional blog about books I have read.

AND

Why am I creating another blog when I barely post on this one?

AND

Got to do better with posting on my blog in 2009.

AND

Not looking forward to the 6 1/2 - 7 hour drive to Louisiana.

AND

I am looking forward to some Gumbo though!

AND

Cannot contain my excitement about having my own apartment!! December 31, 2008 I will obtain the keys!!! YEAH!!!

AND

Excited to finally meet my new niece!

AND

I am finally starting to feel contentment.

AND

I think that 2009 will be a great year for me!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

What to expect for Xmas?

Once again it is Christmas time and I will be heading to good ole Louisiana Tuesday!!! However with every positive, there are some negatives. Now I love my relatives, but at times (especially for the holidays) they can be a little to much.

The "Drunk" family members

These individuals usually are the ones who start the fights/arguments. They are usually older male relatives.

The "Criticizing" family members

These relatives always making snide remarks or been judgmental. For example, "OH! You still haven't went back to law school?" Usually older female relatives.

The "Wild Child" family members

Another Christmas, another child and babydaddy/mama. Always bugging you to go to the club with them later. Assume that you are big ballin and want to talk in private so they can ask for some money.

The "I'm saved now" family members

Was a "wild child" and/or "drunk" family member last Christmas. Trying to preach to you about what you need to do with your life and criticizing you for not being where they are at in Christ. FUTURE OUTLOOK: Becoming a "Criticizing" family member.

The "Competitor" family members

Usually around the same age as you (so that mean they are a first and/or second cousin).

I get a new job, he/she got a promotion.

I get a new apartment, he/she bought a house.

I get a new boyfriend, he/she get engage!

The "Impostor" family members

Moved away and people assume he/she is doing great. Do not want family members to know that he/she is doing anything LESS THAN great. However everyone know that you are struggling. I THINK THIS IS ME. LOL!

NEVERTHELESS, I love them all the same and cannot wait to see them.

FREEDOM

Day 37 of 40

The detox is going better than I thought it would. Truthfully, I thought that I would have quit by now. That’s sad huh? Nevertheless I am pushing along. Some stuff I back sled on whereas on other things I have remained strong.

If I am going to be honest with you guys (and to myself), as I am looking at my list, I do not see where I have done a lot. I did complete my 5 day food detox!!!! No cokes or drinks period. I just had water, fruits, and vegetables. With regards to the 5 day food detox, I learned that I am going to have to gradually take myself off of cokes. LOL!! No cold turkey for me. So I drink one SMALL cup a day (and that’s hard for me to), but I am drinking more water than I use to. Especially since I heard that it can come back to haunt ya when you get old! I have not cut down several days of television, but I do not watch television on Mondays.

Nevertheless I have had an epiphany; I AM GETTING MY OWN PLACE.

Even though I have no money saved, hardly getting by now, for my piece of mind, I know that it is necessary. There are several individuals (including family members) that are telling me that I am making a stupid/dumb decision. Those doubting me and bringing negativity to my life will only make me try even harder. Going through this detox and the event that occurred recently, has made me realize that I was/am in a “comfort zone”. I need to step out on a limb and do this for myself and not because I am feeling pressured to do it, not because I feel like a failure, not because I should be doing what everyone else my age is, but because it’s the right decision for ME.

I am learning that I cannot always go by someone advice. I can take it under consideration, but at the end of the day I have to do what makes me happy. That has always been my problem, trying to make the adults in my life happy and satisfied, but not realizing that I am an adult myself. If I fail, well I tried. I will be the one who will have to deal with it. Nobody else has to. So if that mean sleeping on an air mattress (which if I buy a good one, they can be extremely comfortable) and eat cereal and ham sandwiches everyday, SO BE IT. If that is what it takes to have piece of mind, then that is what I will do. Now even though we are in a recession, I will try my damn est to get a part time job.

For some reason I have this calmness about the situation, I have went over my bills and it is really possible. I looked and found a great apartment, in a great location, and at a great price. I have to just fix something on my credit report tomorrow and it will be mine. I will be able to move in December 31st!!!

This means that I will be starting the New Year off right! Please pray and wish me luck on this new adventure that I am about to embark on!

Complainer

Day 36 of 40

You know how there are some people in the world that you hate to see coming because they ALWAYS complaining about something? I hate to say it, but I think that person is me. Okay…….I know that person is me. LOL! I complain entirely too much, and it is sad when you yourself is the one who realize it.

It always starts off innocently, I could be talking about something and I will find the negative in it. Complaining is a part of most my daily exchanges. I even use complaints as icebreakers.

However even though I have a lot of stuff to work on in my life, compared to others (especially in this recession and holiday period) I am doing pretty good.

I am healthy and able bodied.
I have a warm and safe place to sleep at night.
I have family and a few friends I can depend on.
I have a reliable car that can take me from A to B.
I have a job that provides income to live off of and to take care of necessary expenses.
I have food to eat.

After realizing that I needed to stop surrounding myself around negative people and/or individuals who are not trying to better themselves, I had to take a look at myself. I thought, “What is it about me that makes me want to be around these people or why do they want to be around me?” “How can I bring more positive people in my life?”

Well it starts with me!

Sunday at church, the preacher made it quite clear. If it is one thing that God does not like, it is a complainer. He can tolerate/forgive you when He sees you TRYING, but if you are just giving up and complaining about the situation without doing anything about it, well that is just UNACCEPTABLE.

How can I complain about my living situation when some people do not know where they will lay their head tomorrow or if they will even have a home?

How can I complain about being lonely because I am not in a relationship when I have friends and family who I KNOW I can trust 100% and they will never let me down?

How can I complain about my job and boss when over a million people have lost their jobs and do not know where the next meal will come from?

I am starting to wonder how many things have I missed out on in life because of my complaining.

Instead of looking at the each negative point in your life, take the time to look at it in a positive light.

I NEED TO BE MORE GRATEFUL.

God created each and every one of us with free will. That means that we choose our thoughts and I (and you) do not have to accept every negative thought/image that comes to mind.

So starting today, I am making a conscious effort to not complain (and whine because I am good at that also). It will be an extremely hard task for me, but it is an important step to take in my quest for spiritual and mental growth!

FOUR MORE DAYS AND THE DETOX WILL BE COMPLETE!!!

I have so much to share.

Kanye West's 808s & Heartbreak

Okay you guys. I have been a little quiet when it came to my man Kanye because I thought that he had a breakdown. I was not feeling the song "Love Lockdown". Kanye singing? Nah....... However since he is my man (of course only in my mind) I have to stick by him through THICK AND THIN. I am glad that I did because I am loving the CD. Now it is kind of depressing and if you are in a funky mood, it will not cheer you up. Nevertheless I am feeling it. If anything, the album proves once and for all what an incredible artist my man is!!

My favorite song is HEARTLESS!!!




My man is so creative!!!

I am also loving "Say You Will"





This one is called "Welcome to the Heartbreak"






Okay that is all I can give ya. Since I actually "bought" this album, I am going to need for you go out and support my man. LOL!!

Today was a good day!!!

Grambling won 29-14!!!!!

I can have a great Christmas and bragging rights for a year. YEAH!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!

Detox for the mind, body, and soul - PART ONE

Day 6 of 40

Since turning 26, I've found myself becoming much more reflective and serious about my life. Not that I wasn’t before, but now in a much lucid perspective. Nor am I taking myself too seriously, but I’m starting to notice how much more aware I am of myself, my thoughts, relationships with others, career, path and purpose. I feel that I am sort of grieving and putting away my young self. Nevertheless I am extremely excited and deathly afraid of what is in store.

I am always searching out for women older than me to get their perspective on life and ask did they go through the same things at this age and stage. When I hear all these amazing stories of women truly finding themselves in their 40’s and 50’s, I am like, “Dang! Am I going to be crazy for another 15 years?!”

So here I am trying to gain some knowledge to get me through these twenties, and all they can say is, “Girl your 20’s are going to be some of the best and worst times of your life.” The majority of them felt that their 20’s were so hard for them and life gets so much better in your 30’s and up.

Last week as I was getting dress for work, I looked in the mirror and thought, I’m grown!

I finally believe that I am coming into my own. Meaning I know what makes me happy and I want to try and find ways to achieve those things NOW so that I can become a truly happy and content woman.

My passion for history, writing (regardless if I think I am good or not) and entrepreneurship has been weighing heavy on me that I feel like I am suffocating from it. How can I turn my passions into some kind of reality? I have ton of ideas, but currently I am living in a reality where I am extremely in debt, living with a relative and wanting my own place, working a job that does not appreciate my skills and experience with crappy pay, wanting a man-but knowing I do not NEED a man in my life right now, and most importantly trying to achieve a goal that I know deep down inside is not a dream I dream for myself anymore. AHHHHHH!!!!!

With all of this going on in my head, I came to the conclusion that I need to detoxify my mind, body, and soul.

On Monday, November 10, 2008, I started my 40 day detox. The reason I picked the number 40 was because in the bible it means completion/perfect. Instead of starting January first, I decided to start as soon as possible. In my opinion the number 40 represents a proficiency of time that is long enough or large enough to remove doubt; long enough and large enough to prove God's point.

I just want a greater sense of well being, break some bad habits, let go of past failures and regrets. I know that I will not find all my answers in this period, but I would love to start a new year off at a different place.

I keep/kept fighting myself about taking this route. Nevertheless I knew that I had to do something because I am not happy with anything these days. I have this constant state of anxiousness and fear. I am unsatisfied with my looks (these damn 15 pounds UGHHH), I always feel bloated (because of the horrible foods that I consume), I cannot sleep or I am sleeping my days away, and I am always tired and restless to the point of not wanting to do anything, much less read, work on my business, and/or blog. I cannot keep focus or concentrate on anything except the damn television. Basically I just feel “blah” 24/7.

Someone told me that if I want optimum performance, I will need to put optimum nourishment in my mind, body and soul.

The following things are being eliminated while on the detox:

Limited or no TV

No cold drinks (soda to you city folks) - basically Coca-cola because I drink it like water.

Fried foods

McDonalds (10 piece nugget meal)

Dairy products and sugar

Processed food

Meat (Lord help us all! LOL)

Sex/masturbation

The following things are being included in my life permanently:

Walking at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes

Doing YOGA

Water!!!! - This will be hard because I HATE water.

Meditation

I started off slow. The first week was basically getting a new routine for sleeping. Trying to obtain 8 hours of sleep. Instead of my usually 4-6 weekdays/10-12 weekends. Last week I also started drinking a bottle of smart water a day. Slowly trying to move away from Cokes.

This week is my FIVE day major food detox. Meaning nothing but water, fruits and veggies, maybe some grill fish, limited TV (2-3 days), meditation, yoga, and walking all five days. Today is day one and I miss coke and television sooo much!!!! However it is for the better good.

I will keep you all posted.

So I been thinking........

AND

I finally know what I want to do with myself and what needs to be done.

AND

I need to stop procrastinating and go to the counselor.

AND

I really wish I could move Atlanta to Louisiana. I would have the best of both worlds.

AND

I am really seeing the true/real side of “mainstream” America. (White people)

AND

I wish I had my own place!

AND

I think that every time I voice my view/opinion at work this past week, mainstream America think I do not know how to act since Obama won. LOL! Like I did not have an opinion week before last!!

AND

I am not challenged at work and it is making it very difficult to have motivation.

AND

I want to start a non-profit organization.

AND
I am in love with the website www.43things.com. It’s for anal individuals like myself who have to have “to-do” list. Check it out.

AND

I am researching schools in order to obtain my Masters/PHD in History. How does Professor QLC sound? LOL!!

The Picture says it all!!!!!

So I been thinking........

AND

If Obama win, I am not going to work on that Wednesday! LOL!

AND

Will we even know who the winner is Tuesday night?

AND

I am scared about seeing a counselor because for some strange reason I feel its conflicting with me spirituality.

AND

I hope that this recession/depression/bad ass financial situation our country is in helps me out in some way. Maybe....... A foreclosed condo? Is that bad for me to think that way?

AND

Instead of faithing watching "The Biggest Loser", I SHOULD be the biggest loser! Well 10 pounds lighter.

AND

Its time to find another place (and an additional place) to obtain a paycheck.

AND

DAMN I need good credit right about now!!

AND

During these hard economic times, is it okay to get a suga daddy? LOL!!

AND

I really need to eliminate television out of my life.

AND

I am so excited about being a new aunt!!!!

Oh my gosh!!

Sorry about being M.I.A lately, but I cannot muster up any energy to do anything. Also so much has been going on with me that I just need to find time to get myself together. I wish there was a "refresh" button for life! I am at a fork in the road and I do not know which way to go. Everyday it is something different. However I am taking steps to get me some help (a counselor) and with the help and daily prayer, a solution should come about.

FALL is my favorite season!!

Its fall!

I love the fall season.

Fall always bring back good memories. The weather is calmer with the wind blowing and the surroundings bringing good vibes. The last two weeks was a very sad and somber time for me, but yesterday as I was getting out of the car after coming home from work, something in me changed. The wind was blowing and the mood was so great that it turned my entire mood around! I had this calmness come over me. If I could have my way, it would be fall everyday.

Why do I love the fall season?

Well most importantly because it is FOOTBALL SEASON! I love football. Since I was a little girl I could not wait until the last Friday in August because I knew that was when the Jamboree (first high school football game of the season where every school in the parish plays each at the same stadium) would occur. Finding the hottest outfit and hitting the football stadium to check out all the guys from the different schools and determining who was going to be on my team this year. If they were giving out letterman jackets for being a spectator, then I would be varsity.

Black version of "Friday Night Lights/Varsity Blues"

Favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because of Bayou Classic!

This passion for football (and sadly boys) continued throughout high school and college. Now that I am no longer living in Louisiana where my hometown is like the movie, “Friday Night Lights”, its weird not having a football team to support on Fridays and Saturdays. I need some LIVE football in my life!

#26 Clinton Portis - Washington Redskins

Nevertheless I love the fall because the weather is perfect, not to cold and not to hot. Perfect weather for outfits!! LOL!!

Got to go for the hometeam!

Have to go for them because this is my Daddy's team!!

So I been thinking........

AND.....

Why can I only find gas between the hours of midnight and 6am?

AND.....

I am thanking God for the "EXPRESS" bus that takes me to the MARTA everyday for work so that I can preserve my gas for emergencies.

AND.....

I thought I was going to like Jazmine Sullivan CD a lot more. I like it, but..... she is no Lauryn Hill 1998-99. Maybe it will grow on me.

AND.....

I am thanking God that even though I am ONE check away from being homeless, car less, and food less, that at least I have a job to obtain a check.

AND.....

Why with my questionable credit (that I am working on to the best of my ability) are Credit Card companies trying to GIVE me credit cards? OH Lawd it is sooo hard shredding them up!!! Especially since I am so broke and need any extra income possible.

AND.....

For extra income I am thinking about taking the "tax course" for H&R Block. I think it is from October until May. That income can catch me up on my bills and towards debt.

AND.....

I am about to make a MAJOR career decision.

AND.....

Why is losing 10 (okay I really want to lose 15) pounds so hard? It maybe because mentally I am not into it.

AND.....

Why am I scared to find another job? With the economy the way it is and the job market at its all time low, I am scared to leave this bad situation and end up being laid off at another job. (Hence the career change)

AND.....

Why am I so bad at picking men?

I have to admit something, I am a SLOW BLOGGER!

I am going to get straight to the point.

There are some bloggers out there who make me very intimidated. These bloggers write with such heartiness and enthusiasm that sometimes I do not feel worthy of posting. However I realized that I put this pressure on myself really. The purpose of this blog was/is to express my feelings about my transition into this thing called womanhood and everything that comes along with it. Meaning I write about my issues with my career, men, money, spirituality, weight, etc. Everything a 20 something think is important. MY LIFE EXPERIENCES. However while writing this year, I realize that I have been feeling the stress and pressure to publish at LEAST 9-10 posts a month (which for some is the amount of posts they do a day) and if I do not, I feel like I have failed in some way.

With that being said, I feel like there are gifted individuals that have the competence, vigor, and wit to write insightful posts daily. I wish I had the ability to write like them. They have this extra-ordinary (at least in my opinion) way of explaining things that I can only wish I was able to do. They make me want to be a better writer. Hell, they make me want to be a writer period.

So I can only go at a pace I can handle. My pace gives me perspective to think over an idea and develop it. Some ideas I have about a post I have been thinking about for months and sometimes they come out as I write them, like this one. I feel like I need to take my time to write and to think about what exactly I want to say. Because truthfully I am not very good at articulating my views/emotions/opinions in the best intelligent way I want to.

I love blogs that take their time to live before talking about it in their blogs. Because lets be serious, you need to live your own feelings and experiences before trying to write about them in a blog. For it gives them the experience to develop an idea and/or opinion before bringing it to their blogs. Sometimes I get so caught up in their blogs that I do not take the time out to develop posts for my own. However please believe that I have been going through and living in some crazy times that I should have posts for months!! LOL!!

So the next time you come across my page and I have not written a post in awhile, do not think that I have forgot about yall. I am just out living! Trust me you will read about it later! LOL!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

I am officially 26 years old. God has blessed me with another year. I will reflect on it later today!

A nice quote I heard this morning:

Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you are not willing to move your feet.

Mental Organization

So I need to clean out my mind. What does that mean? Well it basically mean that I have to much stuff going on in my head and it is driving me crazy!!!! Just chaos.

1. I have asked and received YES answers from 3 individuals with regards to writing me a letter of recommendation for law school. Now I just need to find three more. I am seriously considering asking the CEO of my company. I talk to a couple of VPs at work and they think he will do it without hesitation.
2. Get organize in my room. Meaning I need to organize bills, writings, ideas, articles, debt elimination documents, etc. I truly believe once you are organize that it clears your head and leaves you at peace.
3. Contact the county’s “Van-to-work” program so that instead of using my car (which means filling up twice a week and adding over 100 miles per week on my car) I can ride the van to work.
4. Find an English class to take so that my grammar, vocabulary, and writing skills can be better for law school (speaking and living it into existence), business, blogging, and my future life as an “author”.
5. Study for the LSAT.
6. EXERCISE!
7. Get back to reading and posting on this blog.
8. Designate a day to focus on writing and bible study.
9. Get back into my hobbies.
10. Focus on my mental, physical, and spiritual detox.
11. Start the sewing class on Saturdays which means that I need to find out if I need a sewing machine. LOL
12. Continue to work on my EMPIRE (well my small start up business)!!
13. Get career goals and future businesses organized and on paper.

So I been thinking........

AND........

I am wondering what happened to my clique/crew? You know the ones you have in high school/college/sorors.

AND........

I am pissed off about this whole Republican V.P. situation. Do they REALLY think that Americans are that stupid?!

AND.......

I need to step up on my reading. Books that is. I have been slacking in this area. I am going to commit at least one day a week to strictly reading.

AND........

I read blogs more than I actually blog. I catch myself saying that I am only going to visit ONE site today, but then I look up and three hours have pass by. I even have a particular order I go in which I read my favorite blogs. Do not get me started on when I find new blogs I like! LOL

AND........

Need to get my exercise on.

AND........

One week before my 26th birthday (9/9/)!!!

AND.......

Currently in the process of detoxing. (Blog about it later)

AND.......

I have three ideas for future GREAT novels.

AND.......

I loved watching Jon Stewart and The Colbert after every night of the convention.

AND.......

Jello shots are great!!

AND.......

Obama speech got me all PUMPED UP!!

My friend, the mind reader

So I am sitting at my desk, listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show, when a close friend sends me an email stating the following:

“You cannot do everything yourself, or all by yourself, at the same time. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather showing your strength. When you REALLY need it, ask for help, guidance, and assistance.”

Is my friend a mind reader now? LOL

A conversation with my Madea

I called my great-grandmother (Madea) for her birthday and instead of talking about her (which she loves to do), she wanted to talk about me! Here is how some of the conversation went:

Madea: I am worried about you!
Me: Why?
Madea: You are about to be 26 and you have no man and no chaps (means children). Why is that?
Me:I just have not found one yet.
Madea: Didn’t I tell you want you need to do to get and keep a man?
Me: Yes ma’am
Madea: Well what the hell (my name was inserted here)! This is when I knew she was drunk. What are you doing up there? What did I tell you? Its four simple rules.
Me: I know. Getting aggravated because this entire conversation is being heard by a friend guy while we were on our way to grab a bite to eat! What makes it worse is that I know she wants me to recite them and I do not want to in front of ole dude, but I do. You always said in order to get and/or keep a man I needed to know how to keep a clean house (CHECK), make them laugh (CHECK), keep their belly’s full (I can cook my ass off! LOL), and screw their brains out (her words not mine! Actually hers were a lot worse)
Madea: AGAIN, if you know this why you single chile? Now she sound worried.
Me: Its not my time, but trust Madea I am okay, I have to go now about to go eat with a man.
Madea: Sounds happy again. Is it a boyfriend or potential one?
Me: No.
Madea: Worry comes back in her voice. Fuck it. I give up. Yall chaps drive me crazy. Have fun.
Me: Love you Madea!
Madea: Love you to baby!
Me: Bye!
Madea: Bye!

So this is my mama side of the family, and on my mama side of the family I am the FIRST one to NOT have a child as a teenager and to obtain a college degree. I think she is scared of me being alone because she never envision any of her family members achieving what I have (to me I feel I have not achieve that much, but to them I have achieve a lot). So I entertain her ideas of what I should do.

Soundtrack to my life - The South!

So while browsing one of my fav blogs, You Hype! Sike Nah...., I came across a great song that I probably will be bumping for the rest of the summer. It goes along with my conflicted opinions of the status of Hip Hop/Rap and my love for the south.

OH! Is it possible to have a crush on a blogger because if it is, You Hype! is it for me! LOL


You're Everything

If I knew then, what I know now!

I would have work toward becoming a college professor and author. Yep, thats right!

More specific, a HISTORY PROFESSOR! Man I wish someone would have sat me down and actually guided me instead of me doing it myself.

Another Saturday wasted.....

So its Saturday and like every week while at work, I plan tons of things to do on my "free Saturdays".

Free Saturdays are Saturdays where no one is in town, no special events are going on, and no major errands to run. Just a empty/free Saturday.

Anyhoo, as I was stating before, I plan tons of things to do on these days (read, clean up, blog, catch up on fav blogs, check out new blogs, study, read, work on business, and catch up on shows I have on Tivo). However today I did hardly any. I just laid in bed (as I am doing now), played on Youtube (damn this great website), watched HGTV, and threw a pity party for myself.

Who was invited to my pity party?

1. Wanting my own place.
2. Being jealous that an ex is getting married today. Now I do not want him, but I am jealous none the less. It just reminded me that I am a single lady with no candidates at all.
3. Feeling fat (even though I know I am NOWHERE near fat, but just bigger than I have ever been) and not doing anything about it.
4. Being mad at myself because I feel that I am never satisfied.
5. Lastly, having tons of things/ideas/feelings going on in my head that are driving me crazy!

Its 6pm and I have nothing to show for this day. NOTHING!! I am getting tired of wasting away my "free Saturdays", but do not know how to motivate myself.

Mr. West!!

So I have read somewhere that my future husband (pictured above) has a reality show in the works with HBO. They will basically follow him around and give us a peek of what goes on in his life.

What that means for me? Well I do not have to quit my job to follow him around. I can basically stalk him from the comfort of my living/bedroom! LOL.

This relationship is costing me money already! I have to go and get HBO! LOL

So I been thinking........

AND......

There is so much I want to do, and I wonder will I be able to do it all. Will I become one of those individual with great ideals that never follow through with them?

AND......

Smile in your face, all the time they want to take your place, them BACKSTABBERS. BACKSTABBERS!!

AND.....

I am going to write a book! Well one day I will. I have several ideals in the works. I think I need to take some English/grammar classes and creative writing classes. Nevertheless it will get done. LOL

AND......

Family. They can be the ones that hurt you the most. Wish you can pick them like you do your friends.

AND.....

Work. Starting to learn the politics of the office. Individuals you THINK have your back and sincerely care, the main ones who will stab you in your back!! Thinking about keeping to myself like I was doing when I first started. I do not need to know EVERYTHING that is going on in the office.

AND......

The new Batman movie and The Color Purple play were excellent choices for this weekend!!! I recommend them both!

So I been thinking........

AND........

I realize that I may be a walking contradiction.

ALSO

I whine entirely to much for my age.

I have an addictive personality.

I try to be hard, but I am not.

I am a great friend and sister.

I give excellent advice, but I do not use it in my own life.

I cannot decide if I want micro braids or a sewn in before I cut my hair all off for my birthday (like I do every year since I was 18)

I am lazy and it is the reason for some of my failures.

I am organize, but messy (organize chaos as I call it).

I KNOW that I do need to be getting involved with someone, BUT really wanting to!!!

I just discovered Sudoku, and I am loving it!

I am a closet nerd and I am about to start coming "out" to people! LOL

Oh and lastly, I am a very blessed individual and would not trade anything.

HOLLA!

Mr. West Dancing!! To funny

So everyone should know that I am in love with Kanye West. Some people think I am crazy for liking everything that people hate about him, but who cares!!! Thats my baby! Anyway, here is this video with him and other guy I would love to meet (Andre 3000). The best thing is they are dancing like some Temptation type group. Nevertheless I have fell in love with Mr. West even more because like me, he cannot catch a beat to save his life!! LOL Enjoy!!

I did it!!! The start of an empire!

I LAUNCHED MY BUSINESS TODAY!!!!!

I am so excited! YEA!!! The website is up, put up some flyer's, UPS mailing address, business cards, and more advertising material will be available to me by the end of the week. However most importantly, it is more than likely that I will have a client by Monday of next week!! Cannot wait to get this started. Have some networking events lined up and everything. I know that it is going to take some time to build it up, but I feel that it can become a great side hustle.


Wish me luck!

Qualities I want my mate to have

Since I am on the subject of men and I mentioned that I made a list of characteristics/qualities that I wanted my mate to have, I feel that it is only fair that I share them with you. Also I would like feedback on if I am being unrealistic.

1. God-fearing. Someone who is where I am with God or better. Has to love God more than he will love me. Pray with me, bring me closer to God.
2. Book lover. Will enjoy going to book stores with me.
3. Someone I can travel with, take home to mama, and bring around my girls. Can take him to the hood and work related events (basically be a "switcher" like myself).
4. An educated man (book & street smarts), but one that knows not to cross the line or embrass me with his intellect. Willing to broaden my horizons.
5. I need to be intimidated by him in the beginning (do not ask me why - its a turn on), helps me step my game up. Keep me on my toes.
6. A man of virtue and pushes me to be a better me. The other side of me that I have been looking for. A man that knows he is not perfect but can learn, adapt, and is willing to do all he can to keep me happy.
7. A man that can and will take care of me, have my back, and be the first one to call with my good news.
8. Someone to visit on lonely weekends just for me to talk his ear off about my childhood, how much I have changed, and what the future has in store for me.
9. Someone to try new things with even though they may seem corny.
10. Can cook!
11. Has a STABLE job.
12. He values family and have a stable relationship with them.
13. FAITHFUL. Someone who believes in having one woman.
14. A man who believes in getting to know a female before entering into a sexual relationship.
15. A man who likes me because of my strength, but allows me to be vulnerable.
16. A man who understands my independence, but knows he is needed.
17. A man who is independent, but makes me feel wanted/needed.
18. A man who is ambitious as I.
19. Attractive and healthy who has style and flava.
20. A man who will open me up sexually (if there is any further you can take me! LOL), who is open to try new things in the bedroom and bring out another side to each other!

Thats it. What do you think? Am I doing to much?

Spiritual Sunday -- Praying for my future husband

This is not one of those, “Please God send me a man!” prayers. I am not ASKING for a man, more of me praying for the man I KNOW is coming into my life. I have faith that God is going to bring my “Godly Man” to me, but I just want to pray for him. God completely knows my future husband already. He knows his thoughts, struggles, triumphs, fears, and failures. So if I am praying daily for myself to become a better child of God, I feel that it only right for me to do this for my future mate. By praying for him, I am seeing that things can change for me. I see myself trying to become a better person, and a better child of God. I want to obtain a purer heart, all this in preparation for him, my future husband. For that reason, I will be making this a daily commitment.

It’s the least I can do (pray for him) because the person God has chosen for me is probably facing struggles just like me. So I will pray that God bless him and his family, order his day, encourage him in the Lord (want him to love God more than me), and in some way know that his future mate (me of course! LOL) is out there getting herself ready for him.

For example:
“God please watch over him today, bless his family and true friends.” God I ask that you give him strength to live each day to the fullest and continue to strive to be a better child to You. Please provide him with the strength to be able to resist worldly desires so that he can live in THIS world, but not OF it.”

I also pray for a Godly understanding of what a real relationship/marriage is suppose to be. For someone who I can be better with and we can help each other grow spiritually. I want me and my mate to be equally yoke. Meaning I want him to be on the level I am or above. Meaning all the superficial things I used to ask for is going out the window. God knows what I am attractive to and I trust that whomever God put in my life I will be attractive to him. So why must we ask for physical features when we are asking God for a mate? With me offering my thoughts and prayers to God, I want to set my heart and mind on a completely different track. Instead of being upset/depress about not having a mate, I want to be excited/have anticipation about my “relationship”. Because even though it does not exist at the moment, I KNOW that it’s going to happen (again at His perfect timing), and I KNOW that it will be worth the wait!!

I also made a list of things that were important to me, things I considered important characteristics/qualities for my future mate to have. I placed it in my Bible and handed it over to God. If God does not bring this man I described on paper to me, it will be okay. I will be happy with whatever God wills me in this life time. When you give yourself, along with your problems and concerns to God, and also honor Him, He will give back to you one-hundred fold!! So I am going to pray for your future mate and his intentions, then just wait for God to bring this individual into my life.

Midnight Love

So I was on the phone with my sister last night (while playing on the internet) and I came across this song that me and her loved back in the day. Then we started traveling memory lane, about the guys we dated in high school (what were we thinking! LOL) and how BET's "Midnight Love" was the soundtrack of our lives at the time. LOL Here are just a few that top our list:


Allure's Last Chance


Az Yet's Last Night


Pressha's Splackavillie - Now this one top's the list. However I rather not give details! LOL


Mariah Carey's My All - I cried everytime I heard this time. I thought I was so heartbroken (if I had only known the drama that was ahead in college). To this day I have to listen to it like three times in a row.


The Tony Rich Project's Nobody Knows


Kenny Lattimore's For You


Jesse Powell's You


Uncle Sam's I don't ever want to see you again


Uncle Sam's You are


Rome's I belong To You - Man this was the stuff (finding alternative words for curse words LOL)!! Oh my gosh! No words!


Man, those was the days! I thought life was so hard (teenagers - full of drama). Thanks for going down memory lane with me.

Not a quitter!!!

So I am going to try ONE MORE TIME (with regard to the LSAT). I know what I did wrong last time, I am going to improve on my weaknesses, and not talk about it! Just going to show action!! I feel good about it. Wish me luck and send up a prayer or two, three, four..... LOL!

Hey! Three times a charm OR three strikes and your out! LOL

Faith without works is dead, and thats basically what I did and have been doing for quite some time.

Spiritual Sunday -- Organized religion versus Spirituality

1. Love God with all my heart, body, and soul. Place no other person, place, and/or thing before Him.
2. Treat and love my neighbor as I would want to be treated and/or love.
3. Know that and truly believe that Jesus died for our sins.
4. Abide by the law of the land provided by the local and federal government.

If I am doing all these things, aren’t I living a “saved Christian” life? Where does “organized religion” fit in? Am I more of a spiritual person rather than a religious person? In my opinion, SPIRITUALITY is born in a person and develops in the person (of course by God). We all have it, whether we know or practice it. It’s really simple: We want to be happy and live a "good" life, and we want to be "good" and do the right things. True spirituality is something that is found deep within oneself. It is your way of loving, accepting and relating to the world and people around you. However this does not mean that it can not be found in church. I myself have join and became very active in a wonderful church. See I found spirituality by religion and by revelation. As Oprah says, I had my “AH HA moment” lately.

So how does organized religion come into play (especially for me personally)? Well in my opinion, we develop questions that we feel and learned that as humans we to turn to an authority to tell us answers. So this was supposed to be the purpose and origin of religion. Organized Religion (in my opinion) is a man made, culture based set of guidelines that guides its people in the practice of spirituality. Organized Religion is a good thing that in some cases has had bad consequences on some individual’s spirituality (especially me). Meaning I do not think religion is bad, but that it is being applied in a bad way. With organized religion, I often take from it at times judgment, fear, gossip, trying to see what individuals have on, who came to church with someone, and a bunch of rules and rituals. However with spirituality, I get love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony, and this brings about happiness to me. It is basically specifically explaining number one and two above. Also this is mainly what “worldly people” come and try to seek at church.

I believe it is correct to say that what some organized religion teaches and practice today is not what God has instructed us to do. I feel this way because they have adopted their own beliefs to fit their own agenda. This had me confuse and I started to lack faith. I started to understand how some individuals lose faith and give up God, quitting Him because of hypocrisy and the sinful nature of man/church. This is why it’s so critical to have a personal relationship with Christ and not follow a religion. God will never let hold of you and He never quits on us. The choice is ours. He gives us free will. He created each one of us to worship Him, and Him alone.

For many of those brought up in traditional religions, we have walls around our true selves that need to be knocked down, sometimes brick by brick, before we can see that the bricks are only an illusion keeping us separate from each other and from Spirit. Most religions, while they contain many truths, are fear-based. By being this way, they limit the amount of love we can give to ourselves, and therefore naturally, the love that we can give each other. Instead, we judge, we fear, we hold back - and we don’t even recognize that we are doing so. Once we can realize with our logical mind that religions were originally created to help mankind deal with the great fear of death and dying. It will be easier to move on to a higher expression of love and divine connection.

There are still things that I need to pray about and get wisdom about. I am no longer completely and greatly frighten of death and the unknown. A lot of things I feared are no longer there. I am developing contentment in myself because I am learning my place and purpose here on earth. However I have learned that I can be a spiritual person and attend an organized religion establishment without being religious. It sounds strange, but this is my path. I truly believe and know that I am bless to have found a church that has a preacher that is divine and provides me with the spiritual nourishment and knowledge I need to have in order to continue to develop and strength my relationship with God. Do I feel that this is the path for everyone? No, but for me it is. I am on this quest to have a fulfilling intimate relationship with God and I have been blessed to find a man of God who provides me with the growth in establishing that relationship. As for the church as a whole, I do not get caught up in the whole politics of it. I attend Sunday service and Wednesday bible study to get the daily nourishment I need, I attend classes that are God-based and critical yet does not have an one sided view on things, and most importantly it helps me develop relationships with like minded individuals that God put on my heart to meet. Not because they are the most popular in church or because they can do something for me.

LSAT Results

Think about the worst score you can make, well I did worse than that!! You may ask how do I feel about it.

Well......

Can you be at peace about it and still cry? Because that is what happened to me. However just when I was about to sit here and write a "woe is me" post (AGAIN -- seems that is all I do lately), I came across this you tube clip. It put everything in prospective and at the end of the day I know everything is going to be okay.

John Legend sung it calmly and lets you focus on the message and not necessarily how well he can sang! Inspirational vitamin of the day.

10 books to read this summer

So occurring to my summer list I posted earlier, I am suppose to read 3 books this summer. However since I am adding an additional day to my "NO TV day", I have pushed it up to 10 books. Some books are serious intellectual food for the brain and some are junk food/candy for the brain! Have to have your balance.

1. The African Origin of Civilization by Cheikh Anta Diop. So I am reading this one because I have this thirst for history and where I (my people) actually came from. I had been searching for this book and kind of put it on the back burner, but thanks for Tasha212 I realize I needed to read it now. Thanks girl!!!

2. Boaz Brown by Michelle Stimpson. My co-worker suggested that I read this book because she loved it. I really was not interested in reading fiction and for the last 2 years I read self help, informative, spiritual, and history books. However something reading too much serious stuff can be a drag.

3. Up From Slavery by Booker T. Washington
4. Souls of Black Folk by W.E.B. DuBois
5. Narrative of the life of Fredrick Douglass by Fredrick Douglass
Well because they should be a requirement for EVERYONE!!!

6. Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game! by Holly Robinson Peete
Well I love football and need to brush up on the technicalities of the game. Plus it doesn't hurt to have the knowledge of the game when it comes to men!!! Love it when a women can talk sports and ACTUALLY knows what she is talking about!!! Got to brush up before football season starts!

7. Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubne

Interesting book with interesting material. Cannot wait to find out why drug dealers buy a Lexus, but still live in the projects with they mama (maybe they hood). Also would like to know why they say that a real estate agent and a KKK Klansman has major similarities.

8. Just Too Good to be True by E. Lynn Harris. Well because I read EVERY book written by this man. My guilty pleasure. Comes out July 15, 2008. 9. Trading Up by Candace Bushnell
It was $2.00 at my fav store (Plato's Closet) and its written by the Sex and the City creator. I am hoping that its great since I am trying to get into "Chick Lit" (white girl books - sorry but true). If its not, well I only paid 2 bucks.

10. Lovers & Players by Jackie Collins. Well you always hear about her and how great her books are, so I was like, "What the hell?" Plus it has black characters in this one and it was $3 at Borders. Question? Why the book with black characters got to be called, "Lovers & Players"?

Honorable Mention: Time lines of World History

I think this is going to be my favorite history book. There are pages that fold out, but the best thing about this book is that it has the history of the whole world, not just Europe, but also Africa, the Americas (before anyone had sailed over here), and Australia to name just the few that I can remember right now. It lists them all side-by-side, so if you want to see what happened in Africa during the time when Elizabeth I was Queen, then it shows you right on the page. Going to use this book to incorporate my study of world history (the real version - not want the GOVERNMENT want us to know! LOL).

The SEVEN Habits of HAPPY PEOPLE

So I was looking through my July 2008 Essence magazine (Pg. 107), and as I was flipping through and reading articles (which seems to be the same thing every other month), I came across something great. Since I have been going through my “woe is me” period, I think that this is a perfect way to start incorporating things in my life that will bring happiness. While writing this blog entry (during commercials of the BET Awards – major disappointment by the way) I realize that I am actually doing these things. So why aren’t I happier? Well I have come to the conclusion that I talk a good game, but never practice what I preach. So here goes…..Last result before going to a head doc.

Actually my #1 will be giving all my problems to God and the entry I wrote about on 6/19/08.

1. Hang out with joyful people.
The article suggests finding five POSITIVE interactions for every ONE NEGATIVE interaction. What? How am I going to do that? LOL. Nah it basically means surround yourself with positive individuals. Those who lift you up not let you down.

2. Move consistently toward your goals.
STAY ON THE PATH!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Meditate on your blessings.
Instead of the “woe is me”, I need to be thankful that I woke this morning because somebody did not!!!

4. Be good to yourself.
Basically eat right (currently going through a 9 day detox – its day 2 and I am needing a piece of meat!!!), exercise (finally started my program so that I can run the 5k for Labor day AND every other Friday I have a YOGA session!!! – I am going to be TOO sexy by my 26th birthday which is September 9th), and mentally (doing this shoot).

5. Connect, connect, and connect.
I think that this is basically number one. It’s just saying surround yourself with people and establish relationships with family and friends.

6. Go to church.
The article states that individuals that go to church (any faith) are happier than people who do not go or go once or twice a month. Now I am not the one to talk about this (I have an opinion on organized religion vs. spirituality – later post), but I say that for the last 2 months I did not attend church and when I stepped into the church last Sunday, I just had this calmness come over me. Now the word was good (mainly directed at the men), but it was just being in the house of the Lord that just made me feel good. Again for a later time.

7. Give—and forgive.
Now this one is a HARD one, I am constantly working on this one. I have a hard time forgiving people who have wrong me. However I was told that if you can not forgive someone, why do you expect God to forgive you of your wrong doing. With that being said, this is a constant battle. Even today at work, I had a bad day and for a minute I considered revenge and I thought about not talking (unless work related) to the individual. However where would that get me? I would be the one miserable, and along with giving power me, she would not even know that I am over at my cube all mad and booted up!!! LOL WOW. The power of the mind.

Made my day!! LOL

So I think this is sooooo FUNNY!!! I think we all know someone who "switch".



Again..... To funny. I literally was crying. I needed a good laugh like this. My people My people.

Greetings Everyone!!!!!

Since my last blog entry, God has truly reminded me that it is in Him I MUST live and move. through. Putting my trust into anything or anyone other than Him proves to be unacceptable. I have also realized that in order to truly have a new reality, I have to have a change in outlook. '

By not seeking revenge last weekend and truly ignoring the situation, I gain power over the situation. That was my “revenge” so to speak. I killed them with kindness. I just let it go and concentrated on me and my happiness.

I feel my biggest challenge is not picturing my future, but becoming comfortable with the “right now” and seeing it the way God does. I am trying to look past my circumstances and know that God’s has the finish plan.

With preparing for the LSAT, trying to start a business, and the UNNECESSARY drama, my life was filled with chaos and anxiety. However as of Monday (right after I finished taking the LSAT) I am choosing to visualize my today and future as calm, stimulating and fulfilling.

Friday Evaluation

If this week wasn't stressful enough, today I hit an all time LOW. Its not even 8am yet!!!! So as I sit at work writing this, trying to hold back tears from the pain that I MYSELF have caused, I feel that I am at my lowest and have nowhere to go but UP.

Nevertheless I am on my way to Louisiana this weekend for Father's Day and to take the LSAT exam. I really hope that my trip will cheer me up, but the root to some of my current pain lives in Louisiana.

How do you guys feel about revenge? I just want someone to feel the pain I am feeling, especially if you cause it. Nevertheless when I go home I am going to try to stay as positive as I can and not resort to any negative behavior. I have to perfect way to get back at this individual, but I am going to try with ALL MY MIGHT not to do it. OHHHHH BUT HOW I WANT TO!!!

If what they say is true.......

Jay Z and others are always saying the following:

Thirties are the new twenties!

If that is so then I want to be 16 FOREVER because my twenties are kicking my a**!!!!!

Hey everybody!!!

I am taking 5 steps back yall............Send a pray up for me. PLEASE!!

Black Love

I notice it as soon as they did it, but Young Black Professional Guide had the picture.

The best day I have had in awhile!!!!

Before talking about my joyous day, let me just say that on Friday night I went and saw "Sex and the City" and loved it!!!!

So Saturday I went to a crawfish boil and had the time of my life!!! A friend of a friend who is also from Louisiana went back home and purchase 200 pounds of crawfish!!!! MAN......I was eating crawfish from 6 something til damn near 10pm. We did not leave the gathering until 2am. It just felt great to be around individuals who were missing the same things. We just talked about how different and special Louisiana is and how much we miss it. However since Louisiana has a horrible job market, everyone agreed that even though we miss it, we cannot go back.

So there you have it, this day could not have came at a better time.

Things to do this summer

Being that I am dating myself, here are some things I want to do this summer:

1. Learn how to play pool better. When I was younger my grandparents owned a nightclub right next door to my house, and me and her (my grandmother) use to hustle men out of there money in pool games. I was really good back then.
2. Walk a 5K. Lets be honest, that’s all I can really do for now and I have to start somewhere.
3. Going to TWO concerts with friends (or by myself).
4. Search myspace and look for independent artists in my area. Because right now radio SUCKS!!!
5. Since I have reconnect with so many childhood friends through myspace, once a week, contact one and catch up.
6. At least once this summer, take in a “Movie in the Park” and “Concert in the Park”.
7. Since I grew up on baseball/softball, I found a park that has a league near me. Now I will not be participating (LOL), but I will attend a game or two.
8. Go to Stone Mountain and climb the damn mountain.
9. Go to Six Flags and the water park
10. Read at least THREE books (pertaining to history)
11. Go to some “Jazz Night” events.
12. Go to a reggae bar and meet a man with an accent and just listen to him talk. However I will not exchange phone numbers, just want to live with the fantasy.
13. Get involve in a spades tournament or just have a spades party.
14. Learn how to play chess
15. Go see the play, “The Color Purple” (well I will be doing this in July)
    
    

Determing how I feel and why

So I wrote this last Wednesday and seriously debated posting it because I thought maybe it was to "BLUE" and did not want to write depressing crap. However this is what I felt at the time and this is my journal so to speak. I am feeling particularly down these days (not as bad as that particular day) for no reason at all. I am currently trying to come to terms with why I am feeling this way and do something about it.

Hello all……..

Feel like hearing about my situation? Well here goes:

Today for some strange reason I get to work and start feeling extremely down. I have no reason to feel like this, nothing in particular has happen or is going to happen. So I start wondering, “Why am I sad?” and thinking about reasons gets me more down. Compared to the next guy, you can say I have a pretty good life. Nevertheless there is always someone who is doing worse than you so I cannot really go by that.

At lunch I call my mom to whine and cry to her about it. I express that I am sad and do not know why and I begin to cry. She goes to say that I always get like this and that I should go see someone because I may have a chemical imbalance (I disagree).

Now here I am after work sitting in my church parking lot waiting for Bible Study (in 2 hours) to start (I live 20 mins away and if I were to go home and then come back—I would not come back). I am starting to get my materials out to start working on some practice problems dealing with the LSAT when I come across the notes I took the last time I came to Bible Study.

“Your test/trial will always come at your spiritual promotion”

Ah ha!! So I seat and ponder on that particular statement.

In earlier days where I tried to do better by God, what got me the most were my actions. There were things I just could not shake. However as I grow older, wiser, and closer to God, I see myself not even having a desire to do certain things and not caring what others (such as family, close friends and/or peers) think about it. I had a situation to occur this weekend where (though very painful) I have come to the conclusion that I may have to eliminate someone out of my life because I feel like they are keeping me back from something greater. I have always been the type that if my friend girls were trying to better themselves and wanted to eliminate something from their life, I would respect that and just not go to certain places or do certain things with them. However this particular friend (actually a family member) is not respecting that there are some places and things that I no longer want to be involve in. Its not like I am trying to do it because I know it is not pleasing to Him, literally the desire to go to those places and do those things are not on my heart. For her to not understand that (or care) hurts extremely.

With that being said, I feel that since the devil (and/or evil forces) cannot play on my weakness that way, he is trying to play with my mind!!!! LOL (no seriously). I am developing spiritually and the devil cannot stand it. Nevertheless I am going to continue to pray and give thanks for the many blessings (and I do mean MANY) God has provided me with.

I have came to the conclusion that I may suffer from depression (or this maybe what some people who are going through quarter life crisis go through). Nevertheless I feel that it is a very small form of it.

My question is how does this go with my spirituality? So I am currently trying to figure out:

spiritual growth and depression

having faith vs. depression

I would love to have you guys view/opinion of this.

10 things I want to learn how to do:

1. Learn how to write poetry. (is this something you can learn?)
2. Sew. I think I have an unique style. Its a materialistic (brand whore as my aunt calls it) on a budget, tailored, preppy, hoodtastic, afrocentric look.
3. Spanish. Reason: I live in Atlanta, there is no other reason.
4. Japanese. Because I heard its a hard language to learn and I like challenges. Also I want to visit Tokyo for my 30th birthday.
5. Speaking in public without nearly fainting.
6. DANCING!!!! Oh my gosh!! I have no rhythm what so ever. Its bad.
7. Play a piano.
8. Play a guitar.
9. Be more patient.
10. Be a better daughter, sister, cousin, niece, friend, soror.

These were just off the top of my head. Just sitting up here drinking and thinking about stuff.

Did nothing I said I was going to do!!

I did not do anything I wanted to do this weekend. Meaning I did not lay on my ass and get the rest I needed.

Did I think of something profound and blog about it? LOL. (Had to laugh at that myself)
Did I study? No.
Did I work on my pending business? No.
Did I clean up and read? Nah.
What about exercise, did I do that? Come on now! You know I didn’t.

So what did I do, well I slept in every morning and did the following:
I went out on Saturday night:
First spot – A nice little bar that plays live music on Saturday night. Had a nice meal with great music. Cost: $20.00 (including cover)!!
Second Spot – A great billiard spot downtown with live music on the first floor and a DJ on the second floor. Cost: FREE (no cover and free drinks from 2 lame guys me and my friend met)
GOT A SPEEDING TICKET AT 3AM, 3MINTUES FROM HOME!!!

I went to a Poetry spot on Sunday night and got my “Love Jones” on.
While there (only a $7 cover) from 8pm until 1am, I had a blast. This will become one of my regular spots. I sat there and enjoyed the environment and came to the conclusion that wish I had the talent that they possess. The gift of poetry is truly a blessing from God. OH! I got one of the poets number, but I am not going to call. However it did make me feel good. LOL

Today, I did not do a thing except lay in the bed and look up one of the poets on myspace. Checked ALL my favorite blogs (that takes all day in itself).

No work on Monday! YEAH!!

What are your plans for this weekend and Monday?

Mine started with getting off work early and watching shows I tivo until I fell asleep. I plan on doing that tomorrow, Sunday, and Monday. Also catching up with cleaning, reading, blogging, studying, and exercising. So basically a really boring weekend. However I am VERY EXCITED about it. I have already told everyone that I am not doing anything, for the last 3-4 weekends my butt been on the go. All I want to do is lay low and chill.

Back from Louisiana and brought back an illness

Sooo I am back from Louisiana (came back on Monday) and the visit was interesting to say the least. I got to do everything I wanted:

1. Ate crawfish everyday I was there
2. Went to a drive thru daiquiri shop and got my favorite -- A LARGE hurricane (was feeling quite right!!)!!!
3. Ate snowballs everyday (sometimes twice a day)
4. Just circle blocks in my town in the black "Pre-Lexus" (my 08 Toyota Corolla)

A lot of interesting things happen while I was at home (and of course they involved men) and will definitely discuss them at a later date. However this was the first time that I felt like maybe I was missing out on something by not being at home. Also every night I had the best sleep (even Saturday night when I got in at 5am and woke up at 9am) ever!!!! I was sleeping on the couch! Did not matter, I woke up refreshed, alert, and well-rested. This was great because as of lately I have not been getting the best of rest. Sometime I would not go to bed until sunlight. I do not know what that is all about.

The only issue I have is everyone wanting me to come see them and getting upset when I can not fit them in. Its not that I do not care about you or that I care about someone else more than you, (hell I did not even see my daddy this time) its just that there are so many hours in ONE DAY!!! How about you get up and come see me? Why should I be the one visiting everyone? I am the visitor, come see if I am at my mom's house resting from another drive I took to see someone. Doing all this visiting, I feel like my mom got the shit end of the stick because I really did not spend that much time with her. I was always on the go.

Nevertheless the trip was great and I cannot wait until father's day because that is when I go back. Another weekend of eating crawfish and snowballs and drinking daiquiri.

I brought something back from my trip: SICKNESS!!! I have bronchitis. So Monday morning I woke up with a sore throat and a terrible cough. I literally felt like crying when I need to cough. Nevertheless I went to work on Tuesday and when I got home that evening it was worse. So today I went to the doc and got not one, but TWO shots in my ass!! I also have some horse pills and nasty cough medicine to take.

I debated if I should go back to work tomorrow, but my mama said that I should be passing this on to my co-workers. Since you should never go against your mother's word, I will not be going to work tomorrow either. I think that I should take that Friday off also. They know I am really sick (hell I was there Tuesday so they know that I am not making this up and acting like I am still in Louisiana). I just wished that I would have figured this out Monday and I could have stayed in Louisiana all week and went to the crawfish boil for the high school graduating class on Saturday. Oh well!! I will just rest up and drink plenty of fluids so that I can go see Katt Williams on Saturday.

Thanks for reading this senseless post!

Someone always have something to say

So I check my blog email today and come upon an email from a fellow "blogger" stating that my blog needs improvement and here are some (or one very important one) suggestions.

"How about you take into consideration blogging about more important issues concerning African Americans and black women? It seems like your blog is going into a direction of being very self centered and you might lose your audience."

First. Thanks for your consideration and/or opinions, but like assholes, EVERYONE HAS ONE.

Second. I am NOT an African American. I am an American who is black (however that is for another post -- check out a wonderful poem by Smokey Robinson below).

Third. My blog is SUPPOSED to be self-centered. It is about ME being 25 and finally realizing that I am a full blown adult, dealing with it and getting comfortable with it. I am looking for individuals who can relate, want to give advice because they been where I am at/going, and give CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Also I think you have to be blessed with the gift to write about certain things. I leave that to the wonderful blogs to my right (blogs that influence me to blog) that I just have to check EVERYDAY.

Fourth. I am not looking to be the most popular blog. I am happy and excited that I have people just looking at it and commenting. This is a perfect avenue for me. I have always had a passion for writing and journaling and this help satisfy both of them.

So fellow "blogger" if you do not like the path my blog is taking, that is okay and please feel free to go elsewhere.

Nevertheless here are TWO YOUTUBE CLIPS, that I think are great discussion starters. Please feel free to check them out and leave a comment.